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  1. #1
    Senior Member Gerbah's Avatar
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    Default Nines and anger/aggression

    I was wondering if there is a typical way Nines behave when they are feeling aggressive?

    What might the long-term consequences be of a Nine who is frustrated and possibly building up resentment? I know that they are supposed to be easy-going and like to care for and please others, but what about when they have repressed themselves for a really long time and/or significant people in their lives have taken advantage of them for a long time and not treated them as they deserve? So that they are really out of balance and depressed?

    I ask because there is one Nine I know in a situation like the above. I am rather careful with her and keep a distance and we generally don't want to bother each other and are amicable when we do interact. Deep down though I am actually kind of afraid of her... It's partly a gut feeling. I just somehow have a feeling that things aren't as “nice” as all that and it makes me very uncomfortable.

    Is this making any sense? When a Nine is aggressive and unhappy is it direct, will it explode, is it more passive aggressive and sneaky, etc.? Are there typically certain things to be careful about?

    I know every person is individual and in a unique situation, I just would like a general idea of what one might maybe watch out for when dealing with a Nine who is unhappy and feeling victimised.
    the shoheen ho of the wind of the west and the lulla lo of the soft sea billow - Alfred Graves

  2. #2
    Courage is immortality Valiant's Avatar
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    The Nine is a terrible thing when it comes to anger/aggression.
    Isn't called the "Iron Nine" for no reason, eh?


    Mightier than the tread of marching armies is the power of an idea whose time has come

  3. #3
    Senior Member Gerbah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by YourLocalJesus View Post
    The Nine is a terrible thing when it comes to anger/aggression.
    Isn't called the "Iron Nine" for no reason, eh?



    I will make sure all golf clubs are safely out of her reach when she is over at my place then, lol.

    But seriously, so my gut feeling is right to be afraid? Any specific things to safeguard against?
    the shoheen ho of the wind of the west and the lulla lo of the soft sea billow - Alfred Graves

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    Courage is immortality Valiant's Avatar
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    Chances are that she'll be disappointed more than all-out furious.
    Help her think about something else for a while.
    I don't think she's going to kill you.

    Mightier than the tread of marching armies is the power of an idea whose time has come

  5. #5
    Senior Member Gerbah's Avatar
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    Distractions do seem to help her. I was more worried about things going on behind my back, stuff being said, p/a stuff, things like that. But I suppose you can get that from a lot of different kinds of people. Since I became a mother recently I've found I am hyper-aware of anything weird or strange from people near my child, and it is mostly because of this that I ask. I think this Nine would love nothing more than to be distracted with my child but I am not comfortable with that and yes, this disappoints her very much.
    the shoheen ho of the wind of the west and the lulla lo of the soft sea billow - Alfred Graves

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    Courage is immortality Valiant's Avatar
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    Hey, it's your child after all, not hers.
    Women seem to have a disturbing interest in other peoples' children
    If you really don't want to, then you should not.
    You have no obligation or such, so trust your gut.

    Mightier than the tread of marching armies is the power of an idea whose time has come

  7. #7

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    I could be a nine, I know that when there's ongoing antagonism it can leave me feeling pretty conflicted and I have to take time to reflect on exactly who is at fault and step back and stop trying to please.

    I reckon if I didnt have as much insight as I do then I'd be a total neurotic, my siblings who I've seen have similar personalities for the most part display addictive behaviours (I think my own consumer habits, for instance buying books, are a little addictive too) or passive aggressive or controlling behaviours, ie doing household tasks in a frantic, obsessive manner with some aim of compelling others to share that mania.

  8. #8
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    Is she 9w8? I'm a 9w8, I think. If you're the one you think she's getting upset with, then talk it out asap. Ask where you went wrong.

    I'll just say that in the 9w8's mind, they are partly doing people a favor by being easygoing most of the time. Every so often though, there's someone who sees it as weakness. Or keeps stepping on their toes in some way that keeps embarassing the 9. The 9w8 will not suffer that kind of obliviousness for too long. They'll play along, but there is a sort of "3 strikes and you're out" attitude if it happens. Tolerant, but still making a checklist. On the brightside, they'll do anything to give a person a chance to get out of that position too..

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by KDude View Post
    Is she 9w8? I'm a 9w8, I think. If you're the one you think she's getting upset with, then talk it out asap. Ask where you went wrong.

    I'll just say that in the 9w8's mind, they are partly doing people a favor by being easygoing most of the time. Every so often though, there's someone who sees it as weakness. Or keeps stepping on their toes in some way that keeps embarassing the 9. The 9w8 will not suffer that kind of obliviousness for too long. They'll play along, but there is a sort of "3 strikes and you're out" attitude if it happens. Tolerant, but still making a checklist. On the brightside, they'll do anything to give a person a chance to get out of that position too..
    Yeah.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Gerbah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by YourLocalJesus View Post
    Hey, it's your child after all, not hers.
    Women seem to have a disturbing interest in other peoples' children
    If you really don't want to, then you should not.
    You have no obligation or such, so trust your gut.
    Yes, a lot do. It is very disturbing when it's really intense. Some can be really forward and aggressive. Sometimes it scares the baby so that she cries if someone suddenly grabs her hand or stares at her too much. So yes, I maintain my limits.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    I reckon if I didnt have as much insight as I do then I'd be a total neurotic, my siblings who I've seen have similar personalities for the most part display addictive behaviours (I think my own consumer habits, for instance buying books, are a little addictive too) or passive aggressive or controlling behaviours, ie doing household tasks in a frantic, obsessive manner with some aim of compelling others to share that mania.
    I'm not sure how much insight she has. And yes, I have seen something of obsession in her which is why I feel the need to set limits on the kind of contact between her and my child, at least while she is still an infant. I don't feel this Nine has a healthy distance. She buys lots of books too incidentally, but I think it's just something she enjoys a lot. Also the passive aggressive indirect attempts to steer things her way, at least that's how I saw certain past actions.

    I was just wondering what depressed Nines do with their frustration and disappointment, since isn't anger the other side of that? Or do they continue becoming even more depressed?
    the shoheen ho of the wind of the west and the lulla lo of the soft sea billow - Alfred Graves

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