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[Type 4] Calling all 4's

Amargith

Hotel California
Joined
Nov 5, 2008
Messages
14,717
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4dw
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Alright you peeps, lemme hear ya, i wanna know who's a 4 around here.


Also, I'd like to know how many of you find the lack of depth in connections with others to be annoying and yearn for more.

That is all.
 
P

Phantonym

Guest
*sigh* *waves faintly* 4w5 sp/so

I don't find the lack of depth in connections annoying, it's just...sad.
 

21%

You have a choice!
Joined
May 15, 2009
Messages
3,224
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
Me! :)

I'm a 4w5 (sp/sx, probably)

I was discussing the classic "What kind of person would you want to be in a relationship with?" question with my sister earlier today, and for me it was all about emotional authenticity and emotional intimacy. So, yes, I yearn for deep connections, but I make very few bonds in real life. However, I often find my heart reaching out to people who I am not even close with, especially when they're 'just being humans' and 'dealing with life' -- I find that very moving and beautiful.
 

Kra

Black Magic Buzzard
Joined
Jun 24, 2009
Messages
912
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
4w5
4w5 here... Or at least I think I am.

I'm fascinated by individual strength and will, and would be satisfied with just one deep and lasting connection, versus suffocating under a myriad of shallow ones. Having someone truly understand me makes me impervious to the figurative perils of the world.

Which is kind of like saying that I can swim expertly in the deep end, but would drown in the hot tub. :D

*sigh* *waves faintly*

I don't find the lack of depth in connections annoying, it's just...sad.

I second that. Though, I must admit that I'm not exactly skilled at making connections either... a troublesome dilemma to say the least. :thinking:
 
B

brainheart

Guest
4w5 sx. Yep, huge on the connection... if I want it. If I don't want it with you, you aren't getting it.... sorry.
 

tibby

New member
Joined
Nov 22, 2008
Messages
682
MBTI Type
fool
I'm 4w5 (or w3) INFJ. I crave, but rarely achieve these connections. I've started to wonder if it's even possible to achieve them.
 

ayoitsStepho

Twerking & Lurking
Joined
Sep 20, 2009
Messages
4,838
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
4w3 so/sx

And I too desire an in depth relationship with people. But most people (from what I've experienced) aren't too interested.
 

Nocapszy

no clinkz 'til brooklyn
Joined
Jun 29, 2007
Messages
4,517
MBTI Type
ENTP
justher says i'm a 4.
why am i being summoned?
 

Amargith

Hotel California
Joined
Nov 5, 2008
Messages
14,717
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4dw
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I'm 4w5 (or w3) INFJ. I crave, but rarely achieve these connections. I've started to wonder if it's even possible to achieve them.

You and me both...sigh.

justher says i'm a 4.
why am i being summoned?

Coz I felt like it :D
Also, if you're a 4, answer the question :coffee:
 

Tiltyred

New member
Joined
Dec 1, 2008
Messages
4,322
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
468
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
4 here, to represent!

Answering the question: Lack of depth of connection gnaws at me. But I am old and I have come to the conclusion (hang on to your hat) that the kind of connection we want can only come from God.
 

Amargith

Hotel California
Joined
Nov 5, 2008
Messages
14,717
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4dw
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
4 here, to represent!

Answering the question: Lack of depth of connection gnaws at me. But I am old and I have come to the conclusion (hang on to your hat) that the kind of connection we want can only come from God.

The more I try to find it with people, the more I too am starting to wonder if it is truly only possible in a spiritual sense (in my case with the Earth). I find that I can usually generate it temporarily with some people, but it's usually not sustainable.
 

Synarch

Once Was
Joined
Oct 14, 2008
Messages
8,445
MBTI Type
ENTP
I don't think some 4's crave real connection. It seems more like they want to avoid close connection by believing it impossible. Then they can indulge their avoidance and secret agenda of isolation. Connection requires courage and openness.
 

Amargith

Hotel California
Joined
Nov 5, 2008
Messages
14,717
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4dw
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I don't think some 4's crave real connection. It seems more like they want to avoid close connection by believing it impossible. Then they can indulge their avoidance and secret agenda of isolation. Connection requires courage and openness.

Duly noted. Thanks for the contribution.


Here's a question..have any of you ever experienced what it's like to connect with another 4? How did that go?
 

sculpting

New member
Joined
Jan 28, 2009
Messages
4,148
i thought I was a 4w5 but then King of dispair told me I am actually I two.

The test always gives me four choices. I feel confused. Can I be a 4+2+8=14?
 

Tiltyred

New member
Joined
Dec 1, 2008
Messages
4,322
MBTI Type
INFP
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468
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
No, it's not true. The kind of connection we're talking about is of hair raising intensity and I know you know what I mean. You don't find it often and yeah, when you do, it's nearly impossible to live at that height of ecstasy for any length of time with another human being.

ETA: Happy Puppy, I'm not sure that Happy Puppy is a very 4 name.
 

Synarch

Once Was
Joined
Oct 14, 2008
Messages
8,445
MBTI Type
ENTP
Sounds more like chasing the highs that come with addiction.
 

Synarch

Once Was
Joined
Oct 14, 2008
Messages
8,445
MBTI Type
ENTP
No intensity is sustainable. Dopamine squirts lessen with exposure to the same experience. So sounds a lot like a constant roving neophilia. Which is fine of course but it will leave you battle scarred and increasingly isolated as you're essentially creating interactions with only apparent substance.
 

tibby

New member
Joined
Nov 22, 2008
Messages
682
MBTI Type
fool
I found this from a book in my mother tongue and it got translated by a friend of mine, and I like this. She found this to be about connection to God, I to connection to people.

When I really listen to you, I step inside of you.
I live in your words; I fill myself with you.
At this stage there can be no judgement or critique.
I live in the wholeness of your thoughts without interrupting them.
I consider this wholeness of yours in my own mind-but only after I have truly entered into yours.

When I talk, you have to listen to me, as well to you.
That means, you have to listen to how I listen.
If you do this, you will speak to the deepest parts of me.
You, speaker, have to listen to yourself and to me
and I have to end my own inner dialogue while I listen.
We'll both start with listening,
and from that, the desire for speech will come.
That's when we'll know what kind of talk is worthwhile
to fill the space our listening prepared for it.

Who will decide what we will talk about?
All of the minutes that met in our shared silence.
If you speak with all this in mind, your words will reflect part of me back to myself
and I will do you the same favor in return,
and the thread that connects our characters will be revealed.
Then the consummation of the mysterious message that we have each been simultaneously persuing and living all our lives will have been realized.
 

Amargith

Hotel California
Joined
Nov 5, 2008
Messages
14,717
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4dw
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I found this from a book in my mother tongue and it got translated by a friend of mine, and I like this. She found this to be about connection to God, I to connection to people.

When I really listen to you, I step inside of you.
I live in your words; I fill myself with you.
At this stage there can be no judgement or critique.
I live in the wholeness of your thoughts without interrupting them.
I consider this wholeness of yours in my own mind-but only after I have truly entered into yours.

When I talk, you have to listen to me, as well to you.
That means, you have to listen to how I listen.
If you do this, you will speak to the deepest parts of me.
You, speaker, have to listen to yourself and to me
and I have to end my own inner dialogue while I listen.
We'll both start with listening,
and from that, the desire for speech will come.
That's when we'll know what kind of talk is worthwhile
to fill the space our listening prepared for it.

Who will decide what we will talk about?
All of the minutes that met in our shared silence.
If you speak with all this in mind, your words will reflect part of me back to myself
and I will do you the same favor in return,
and the thread that connects our characters will be revealed.
Then the consummation of the mysterious message that we have each been simultaneously persuing and living all our lives will have been realized.

I especially loved the bolded part... :)

I know that intense feeling can be found within as well through meditation, dance and being aware of your own body, mind and soul, each of these are possible. I find that sitting in nature, also takes away that craving somewhat. As does connecting with my partner...

I do wonder though, if I were to be close to another 4, if it would make a difference, if it would be more natural, and more sustainable. I know that I have a higher resilience than most to be in that heightened state of intensity, and other 4's might be able to keep up with me a lot better...*ponders*
 
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