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Thread: Calling all 4's

  1. #61
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Honestly, I dunno which wing I am as I identify with both
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  2. #62
    Feelin' FiNe speculative's Avatar
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    The Enneathought of the Day reminded me of this thread:

    Average Fours long for a deep and intimate relationship with someone who will "recognize" them for who they are. They want someone to validate their identity in the way they feel that their parents did not. Watch for this tendency in yourself today. (Personality Types, 151)
    "How can I be, all I want to be,
    When all I want to do is strip away these stilled constraints
    And crush this charade, shred this sad, masquerade"
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGeq5v7L3WM

  3. #63
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ayoitsStepho View Post
    I agree! Where the heck are the 4w3's?? I mean, come on! We're amazing!

    But, it's interesting to see that there seems to be more 4w5's than 4w3's. Kind of makes you wonder which 4 is getting the rep for being the over all 4. In my mind, the two are kind of different.

    4w5's:

    4w3's:

    But don't quote me, those are just the pictures I see in my head when referring to both types. I can't even be sure that it's a significant representation.
    Maybe this is a case of 4w3s not being as interested in the internet in general as 4w5s. I'd certainly like to know more about 4w3s (and 3w4s for that matter) and the differing approaches to life.

    BTW I'm secretly jealous of 4w3s because they seem like the improved version of me

  4. #64
    Senior Member tibby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    Maybe this is a case of 4w3s not being as interested in the internet in general as 4w5s. I'd certainly like to know more about 4w3s (and 3w4s for that matter) and the differing approaches to life.

    BTW I'm secretly jealous of 4w3s because they seem like the improved version of me
    Same here. I see the difference over here has been narrowed to be: 4w5's are more deep & intellectual whereas 4w3's are overall more light (shallow?) and not as deep. I mean, who wouldn't want to be more deep & intellectual? Especially in the case of 4w3's. Maybe 4w3's feel ashamed, isn't their motivation fixated on making an impression, maintain an image? And still with the 4:ness they see the contradiction and inauthencitity of this and how it clashes, so they sort of look for an alternative identity (like 4w5, that they latch onto it so much so even they can't recognise their true faces underneath) that will save them from the embarrassment of facing the fact that all they've done has been to put up another act.

    Might be that there are a lot of mistyped 4w3's thinking they're 5-wingers.
    Or not.

    But I think 4w3 can morph into anything it wants and be whatever it wants to be, kind of, and buy it.

  5. #65
    Senior Member mr.awesome's Avatar
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    im a 4w5
    my enneagram changes so much... ive been a 4, a 5, and a 9. and variations of them.
    at the moment im apparently a 4w5 though.
    my etsy Morphochroma

    I know you think I'm crazy,
    but most people they can't tell.

  6. #66
    Senior Member sketchymcsketcherson's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    Alright you peeps, lemme hear ya, i wanna know who's a 4 around here.


    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    Also, I'd like to know how many of you find the lack of depth in connections with others to be annoying and yearn for more.


    If I am with someone I feel "connected" with, I can do anything with that person and have fun. Read books, play video games, walk in the park, drive, listen to music...it doesn't matter. So long as we share that deep, transcendent bond, I simply enjoy that person's very company.

    However, if we don't share a real connection, or I look to connect with someone and he or she doesn't reciprocate, my emotional involvement soon withers and dies.

    And here's the thing, I can form this connection with almost anybody. The only people I don't have any desire to connect to are unhealthy, mean, or corrupt in some way. This makes it disappointing when I really enjoy the presence of someone but he or she doesn't feel the same.

    Amargith, this is like the 20th time I've read one of your posts and been amazed at how similarly we think.

    4w5 here, BTW.
    For art to exist, for any sort of aesthetic activity to exist, a certain physiological precondition is indispensable: intoxication. -- Friedrich Nietzsche

  7. #67
    See Right Through Me Bubbles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    Maybe this is a case of 4w3s not being as interested in the internet in general as 4w5s. I'd certainly like to know more about 4w3s (and 3w4s for that matter) and the differing approaches to life.

    BTW I'm secretly jealous of 4w3s because they seem like the improved version of me
    Quote Originally Posted by tibby View Post
    Same here. I see the difference over here has been narrowed to be: 4w5's are more deep & intellectual whereas 4w3's are overall more light (shallow?) and not as deep. I mean, who wouldn't want to be more deep & intellectual? Especially in the case of 4w3's. Maybe 4w3's feel ashamed, isn't their motivation fixated on making an impression, maintain an image? And still with the 4:ness they see the contradiction and inauthencitity of this and how it clashes, so they sort of look for an alternative identity (like 4w5, that they latch onto it so much so even they can't recognise their true faces underneath) that will save them from the embarrassment of facing the fact that all they've done has been to put up another act.

    Might be that there are a lot of mistyped 4w3's thinking they're 5-wingers.
    Or not.

    But I think 4w3 can morph into anything it wants and be whatever it wants to be, kind of, and buy it.
    4w3 so/sx represent!

    I think part of being 4w3 is that we're not frustrated by shallower connections with people, more frustrated by other people's idea that we ourselves aren't as full of depth. I already went through my mopey unhealthy 4 stage, and now I do cling to my 3 wing a lot, but still.

    The thing is, every enneagram type identifies with both wings. But which is dominant? For the 4w3s, we certainly have our 5 moments. And we do lay down and want to think and ponder and wonder.

    Sometimes people get upset with me when I have those moments. They say, "Something's off with you today" or "You're different than usual." I usually just say, "I've been writing." And they're like, ohh you're in THAT mode. And I'm not as "fun" in that mode. I don't want to be silly, or fun, or carefree. I get irritated with that. I want to think, and that's when I want and crave that connection Amargith mentioned. Of course, this is also why I pour so much of myself into writing--it's my way of letting all that out.

    So 4w3s aren't "shallow," we're just not as NOTICEABLY "deep." You don't have to wear a mask of pain to be a thoughtful and self-searching soul.
    4w3, IEI, so/sx/sp, female, and Cancer sign.

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    DISCLAIMER: If I offend you, I'm 99.9% sure it's unintentional. So be sure to let me know, m'kay? (And yes, an INFP would stick this in their signature, lol.)

  8. #68
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
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    Deep and intellectual does not appeal to most people, really. So I don't know that it's anything to brag about, to the extent that it might be true. All I'm hearing is that some 4s are lonely. Nothing to envy, really, or feel superior about.

    When I'm with someone who understands me, it's so rare, it feels like I was tied up in a billion knots and I can feel them slowly unwinding. It's small things, for example, I am completely enraptured by a movie that everybody else finds boring and stupid, so I can't share that because the conversation just gets cut off and my questionable taste is pointed out. Then I talk to the person who understands me and he says "Right. That scene where ..." and I jump up and say "YES! Where she said .. and he said ..." and we both nod and smile. Everything in me starts to hum with happiness.

    It really does not happen often.

  9. #69
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Very true. And it's utter bliss when it finally does
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  10. #70
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
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