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Thread: Calling all 4's

  1. #31
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    Just a request: I'd like to keep the thread focused on the experiences 4's have, plz.

    No claims were made that 4's are unique or special or whatever. I am just looking to share and compare experiences with other 4's.

    And frankly, if you're not a 4, then you really cannot expect to know how they experience things, so I'd appreciate there being no assumptions on that or what it 'means' or how it's wrong. I have no interest in repeating the disaster in the ENFP-INTJ thread. Thank you.
    If you are not willing to entertain my input just because I'm not a 4, then it's your loss.

  2. #32
    That's my name biotch! JoSunshine's Avatar
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    I felt like the 4 I dated wanted me to have all of the same beliefs, views and values as him and would try and try to get me to "understand". For the most part, I understood, I simply didn't agree with him. It felt like he was looking for a mirror...an exact reflection of himself, which of course can never be obtianed.

    I don't think all fours are like this - but this particular 4 built his own prison.
    "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. " - Dr. Seuss
    I can't spell...get over it

    Slightly ENFJ, totally JoSunshine
    Extroverted (E) 52.5%........Introverted (I) 47.5%
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    Feeling (F) 55.56%............Thinking (T) 44.44%
    Judging (J) 51.43%............Perceiving (P) 48.57%

  3. #33
    Black Magic Buzzard Kra's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    Question for fours:

    Can you explain to me the nature of this connection is and what you mean by intensity? This isn't because I don't know what a connection feels like, it's just that I'm wondering if the same things are being described with different language much like the blind men who touch an elephant and each declare it to be a different animal.

    I'm also curious to know your thoughts on chemistry with a person (the force that draws people together) vs. compatibility with a person (how well people fit together and compliment each other).
    Realistically, it's about knowing, rather than feeling. It's about knowing and appreciating their patterns and from where they spring. It's entirely dependent on time, and can only be achieved with time.

    Like threads in a grand tapestry, some lives cross, some tangle, some hook, and some bristle freely. Relatively few threads are together for great lengths given the amount of threads out there. I suppose it's because our lives so often entwine relatively briefly, that makes these connections so rare.
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  4. #34
    Feelin' FiNe speculative's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    Alright you peeps, lemme hear ya, i wanna know who's a 4 around here.

    Also, I'd like to know how many of you find the lack of depth in connections with others to be annoying and yearn for more.
    4w5 SP (DAUNTLESS! )

    Vapidness is my kryptonite... I accidentally turned to The Hills the other night while searching for something to watch and they had to use the paddles on me or I would've been a goner for sure. :o

    I find it disheartening that the kinds of connections that are usually accepted are not the deep kind. (People tend to not want to accept what they're not capable of...) Of course, as a 4, I see the masks that people are wearing and want everyone, including myself, to move beyond those. (See sig) That's probably why I focus on this...

    Also, please reserve the 4 call for emergencies! When all this individualism is concentrated in one spot it is a powerful force!
    "How can I be, all I want to be,
    When all I want to do is strip away these stilled constraints
    And crush this charade, shred this sad, masquerade"
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGeq5v7L3WM

  5. #35
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    And frankly, if you're not a 4, then you really cannot expect to know how they experience things, so I'd appreciate there being no assumptions on that or what it 'means' or how it's wrong. I have no interest in repeating the disaster in the ENFP-INTJ thread. Thank you.
    Oh come on, you need to be fixed of your E4 problem, donchaknow?

  6. #36
    Senior Member Chloe's Avatar
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    I liked description I read about Fours - 4s are like a bird who breaks her wing in order to distract attetion from the nest - meaning 4s make up 100 fake/overblown emotions to avoid real ones, real pain - that's their defense mechanism.

  7. #37
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    I think I'm a four (though I don't understand enneagram real well so I'm not sure) and I do lament the lack of depth in connection with all but a few others. I consider it my failing, though. I like people and I want to connect deeply, but another part of me finds the vulnerability necessary to make that connection possible very difficult to achieve.
    The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
    -anonymous graffiti in the basilica at Pompeii

  8. #38
    no clinkz 'til brooklyn Nocapszy's Avatar
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    oh, i see.

    the lack of in depth conversation is not a bother for me because i don't have a lack of in depth conversation.

    great thread, ama.
    also, what's the deal on the apostrophe in "4's"?
    this irregularity is very confusing for me.
    we fukin won boys

  9. #39
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    connection, not conversation.

    I have plenty of deep conversations with people I'm not deeply connected to. You people, for example.
    The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
    -anonymous graffiti in the basilica at Pompeii

  10. #40
    Freshman Member simulatedworld's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nocap View Post
    justher says i'm a 4.
    I hope that's a joke.


    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    I think I'm a four (though I don't understand enneagram real well so I'm not sure) and I do lament the lack of depth in connection with all but a few others. I consider it my failing, though. I like people and I want to connect deeply, but another part of me finds the vulnerability necessary to make that connection possible very difficult to achieve.
    I'm not too good with the enneagram yet...you'd have to ask blackcat, but you don't strike me as a 4. You seem more like a 9.
    If you could be anything you want, I bet you'd be disappointed--am I right?

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