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Thread: Calling all 4's

  1. #21
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    I am fourny for true love.

    :sad: +
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  2. #22
    brainheart
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    yeah, the true love thing isn't huge for me. My deep connections I get via art- musicians, artists, writers I like. Those are my kindred spirits for the most part. But more than the people it's what they create. My sexual variant has to do with intensity of feeling triggered by the arts, natural beauty.

    Not so into the God thing, either. I don't need it when there is so much to connect with on earth.

  3. #23
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
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    Well, I didn't mean God god. I guess I just meant something other than human. Music is certainly god, and art is god, and dance is god. All those things have the supernatural, the duende.

  4. #24
    Senior Member tastes_like_purple's Avatar
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    ME

    I don't have any relationships where there isn't a major connection going on.
    If I don't find that early enough then i end the communication completely.
    A falling star fell from your heart and landed in my eyes,
    I screamed aloud, as it tore through them,
    and now it's left me blind...

  5. #25
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Question for fours:

    Can you explain to me the nature of this connection is and what you mean by intensity? This isn't because I don't know what a connection feels like, it's just that I'm wondering if the same things are being described with different language much like the blind men who touch an elephant and each declare it to be a different animal.

    I'm also curious to know your thoughts on chemistry with a person (the force that draws people together) vs. compatibility with a person (how well people fit together and compliment each other).
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  6. #26
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Feels like being high on your own chemicals. Kinda like foreplay, but depending on the person, with or without the sexual connotation to it. Feels like being one with the other person, having conversation being so easy that you only need to look at one another to get one another. Being perfectly in tune and understanding one another in that moment, right there. And realizing that the other feels the same.

    As for the second question, they're two very different things. But..they can augment one another very much
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  7. #27
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    I'm also curious to know your thoughts on chemistry with a person (the force that draws people together) vs. compatibility with a person (how well people fit together and compliment each other).
    The first question is too hard.

    The second question: for me, they have nothing to do with each other, unfortunately.

  8. #28
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    Sounds more like chasing the highs that come with addiction.
    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    No intensity is sustainable. Dopamine squirts lessen with exposure to the same experience. So sounds a lot like a constant roving neophilia. Which is fine of course but it will leave you battle scarred and increasingly isolated as you're essentially creating interactions with only apparent substance.
    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    I don't think some 4's crave real connection. It seems more like they want to avoid close connection by believing it impossible. Then they can indulge their avoidance and secret agenda of isolation. Connection requires courage and openness.
    I'm with Synarch on this one.

    The "high" doesn't mean it's profound. It means it's new. You get to fill in all the blanks, rather than reality.

    4s aren't special in their desire to have authentic connections.

  9. #29
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by disregard View Post
    I'm with Synarch on this one.

    The "high" doesn't mean it's profound. It means it's new. You get to fill in all the blanks, rather than reality.

    4s aren't special in their desire to have authentic connections.
    Just a request: I'd like to keep the thread focused on the experiences 4's have, plz.

    No claims were made that 4's are unique or special or whatever. I am just looking to share and compare experiences with other 4's.

    And frankly, if you're not a 4, then you really cannot expect to know how they experience things, so I'd appreciate there being no assumptions on that or what it 'means' or how it's wrong. I have no interest in repeating the disaster in the ENFP-INTJ thread. Thank you.
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  10. #30
    brainheart
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tiltyred View Post
    Well, I didn't mean God god. I guess I just meant something other than human. Music is certainly god, and art is god, and dance is god. All those things have the supernatural, the duende.
    Right, cause why would God mean God, I mean when you said it with the capital G and all...

    And I guess I don't view it as supernatural, I view it as something special created by humans. I mean nature, maybe it's created by God, but that's not why I consider it special, I consider it special because it is, straight up.

    I'm just putting my pov out there, not trying to play devil's advocate or anything.

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