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  1. #1
    veteran attention whore Jeffster's Avatar
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    Default Could I be Type Three?

    Type Three: "Key Motivations: Want to be affirmed, to distinguish themselves from others, to have attention, to be admired, and to impress others."

    Type Seven: "Key Motivations: Want to maintain their freedom and happiness, to avoid missing out on worthwhile experiences, to keep themselves excited and occupied, to avoid and discharge pain."

    All of that seems accurate to me. But when I read the behavior descriptions found on the same site (Enneagram Institute: Enneagram Testing & Training) a lot of it isn't true at all. Especially the Three, which paints the picture of an energetic and super-charming businessman type, which doesn't fit me at all. But then, the Seven describes an extroverted type as well.

    Behavior-wise, I am a closer match to the Nine or Four descriptions, yet I don't relate to their "Key motivations" at all.



    This is once again why I say I don't fit into the Enneagram.
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  2. #2
    Pumpernickel
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    Yeah, enneagram is weird like that for me too in that I fit the key motivations and basic fears of some of them, but not the behavioural part, while i fit the behavioural part but not the motivation part of others

  3. #3
    ^He pronks, too! Magic Poriferan's Avatar
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    I could put out some areas where you might not be looking at it correctly, but instead I'm going to go with the grain and say that this, in a nutshell, is why I hacked up the Enneagram the way I did.

    'Tis non-comprehensive. It fails to pass the tautology requirement by having too many unused permutations. Thus, lots of people may be left out.
    Go to sleep, iguana.


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    Live and let live will just amount to might makes right

  4. #4
    Pumpernickel
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    tautology hehehe

  5. #5
    Senior Member syndatha's Avatar
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    There's no reason to hack the enneagram; it is a perfect system, but it may take years to understand

    Both 3s and 7s are often energetic, but 7s more so than 3s, and in a much more physical way. 3s are happy to work in depth with something as long as there's a point to it, their energy is more focused. You really don't have to be hyper to be a 3. Most 7s I know love adrenalin kicks, adventures etc, and are generally less focused.

    7s are a lot goofier, 3s normally take themselves way more seriously.

    3s care about what other people think about them, they think about first impressions and their position in society. MBTI-wise, I think that 3s are more often Fs, 7s can be Ts or Fs, but they are always Ps. 3s are more (S)J. This is however just what I think.

    I am a 3w2, who thought for years that I was a 7w8. 3s can be very difficult to type, because they try to live up to an ideal, and often succeed so well that they end up confusing the ideal for themselves. In my family, the qualities of 7s and 8s are very highly thought of, and I tried to live up that. 3s are chameleons, and I did well. I studied the enneagram every now and then, but had already decided that I was a 7w8, and used my knowledge mostly to type others. After many years (9, to be specific) - I suddenly realised that I was SO not a 7. I had to read the profile again with an open mind.

    I was very young when I did the first test, only 19. Riso and Hudson say that the personality doesn't set until age 25-28. I also believe I have read that teenagers tend to score high on 7 and 4, because these types have some typical teenage qualities. (I'm not trying to say that 7s and 4s are childish, there are degrees of maturity - but depression/melancholy/identity-seeking on one side, and the urge for adventures and new experiences on the other side is pretty normal for all teenagers, regardless of type.) So, if you are very young, maybe the enneagram will be much clearer to you when you hit the 30s

    Adding:
    I just read the OP again, and just wanted to add something. 3s are only businessmen/politicians etc if that is the ideal they try to live up to. It depends on your family, culture - your situation. That's why it's so hard to type 3s. If the ideal is to be a buddhist monk; the 3 will be the most outstanding buddhist monk in his convent. If the ideal is to be a type 4/type 9 person, the 3 will be that - if that's what it takes to be loved. Average 3s think they have to do something to deserve to be loved
    I have no sense of humour.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Chloe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by syndatha View Post
    There's no reason to hack the enneagram; it is a perfect system, but it may take years to understand

    Both 3s and 7s are often energetic, but 7s more so than 3s, and in a much more physical way. 3s are happy to work in depth with something as long as there's a point to it, their energy is more focused. You really don't have to be hyper to be a 3. Most 7s I know love adrenalin kicks, adventures etc, and are generally less focused.

    7s are a lot goofier, 3s normally take themselves way more seriously.

    3s care about what other people think about them, they think about first impressions and their position in society. MBTI-wise, I think that 3s are more often Fs, 7s can be Ts or Fs, but they are always Ps. 3s are more (S)J. This is however just what I think.

    I am a 3w2, who thought for years that I was a 7w8. 3s can be very difficult to type, because they try to live up to an ideal, and often succeed so well that they end up confusing the ideal for themselves. In my family, the qualities of 7s and 8s are very highly thought of, and I tried to live up that. 3s are chameleons, and I did well. I studied the enneagram every now and then, but had already decided that I was a 7w8, and used my knowledge mostly to type others. After many years (9, to be specific) - I suddenly realised that I was SO not a 7. I had to read the profile again with an open mind.

    I was very young when I did the first test, only 19. Riso and Hudson say that the personality doesn't set until age 25-28. I also believe I have read that teenagers tend to score high on 7 and 4, because these types have some typical teenage qualities. (I'm not trying to say that 7s and 4s are childish, there are degrees of maturity - but depression/melancholy/identity-seeking on one side, and the urge for adventures and new experiences on the other side is pretty normal for all teenagers, regardless of type.) So, if you are very young, maybe the enneagram will be much clearer to you when you hit the 30s

    Adding:
    I just read the OP again, and just wanted to add something. 3s are only businessmen/politicians etc if that is the ideal they try to live up to. It depends on your family, culture - your situation. That's why it's so hard to type 3s. If the ideal is to be a buddhist monk; the 3 will be the most outstanding buddhist monk in his convent. If the ideal is to be a type 4/type 9 person, the 3 will be that - if that's what it takes to be loved. Average 3s think they have to do something to deserve to be loved

    +1

    I think many 3s mistype themselves for something else. As you said if a 3s ideal is to be "7-like", "cool, fun, good with people", 3 will try to be that, and take on the mask so good that he will not even be aware of it (self-deceit). Of course, it's not that WHOLE face is fake, it's individual and more likely that person will use her natural gifts in that mask.

    For ex., I heard from a proffesional (who really knows her job. i dont understand why people think they mastered typology in 1-2 years more than people who are in it proffesionally for 30 years and have worked with thousands people, but that's another topic ) that INFP Ennea 3, and ENFP ennea 3 is not so rare combination, yet no NFP type themselves that way.
    Also there are INFJ 3s etc.
    edcoaching is INFJ 7

  7. #7
    veteran attention whore Jeffster's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by syndatha View Post
    There's no reason to hack the enneagram; it is a perfect system, but it may take years to understand
    No system is perfect.

    Both 3s and 7s are often energetic, but 7s more so than 3s, and in a much more physical way. 3s are happy to work in depth with something as long as there's a point to it, their energy is more focused. You really don't have to be hyper to be a 3. Most 7s I know love adrenalin kicks, adventures etc, and are generally less focused.
    Again, I can be either. I am constantly moving, even when I'm not actually going anywhere (which seems to be a very common SP trait.) I am focused within my adrenalin kicks! Haha. And life is about adventure.

    7s are a lot goofier, 3s normally take themselves way more seriously.
    I am very goofy, but I'm also quite easy to hurt, but I usually get over it fast.

    3s care about what other people think about them, they think about first impressions and their position in society.
    Yet again, it's half and half. I do care what other people think about me. Ideally, everyone would love me, even if I annoyed them sometimes. But I care less than a crap about my "position in society." I think that is the SJ half of the Three maybe. This is the kind of thing that makes me say "far from perfect." Enneagram seems to combine traits across more true types in my view.

    I am a 3w2, who thought for years that I was a 7w8. 3s can be very difficult to type, because they try to live up to an ideal, and often succeed so well that they end up confusing the ideal for themselves. In my family, the qualities of 7s and 8s are very highly thought of, and I tried to live up that. 3s are chameleons, and I did well. I studied the enneagram every now and then, but had already decided that I was a 7w8, and used my knowledge mostly to type others. After many years (9, to be specific) - I suddenly realised that I was SO not a 7. I had to read the profile again with an open mind.
    That's interesting. I hadn't read anything about 3's being chameleon-like. But then, I have still read a lot less about Enneagram than MB types, because the latter was so much more recognizable to me. I definitely fit the chameleon description (another SP trait) and even people who speak to me regularly will often say I don't "sound like myself." I go through phases of what is most important to me but there are a few constants through all of it.

    So, if you are very young, maybe the enneagram will be much clearer to you when you hit the 30s
    I'm already a good three years into the 30's. And hadn't even heard of Enneagram before I was in my 30's.

    Adding:
    I just read the OP again, and just wanted to add something. 3s are only businessmen/politicians etc if that is the ideal they try to live up to. It depends on your family, culture - your situation. That's why it's so hard to type 3s. If the ideal is to be a buddhist monk; the 3 will be the most outstanding buddhist monk in his convent. If the ideal is to be a type 4/type 9 person, the 3 will be that - if that's what it takes to be loved. Average 3s think they have to do something to deserve to be loved
    Hmmm. I think I have tried to be entertaining to people, and helpful and friendly, but really the only ideal I have tried to live up to is showing unconditional love for my son the way my mother has for me. I don't really feel like anyone "deserves" to be loved, including me.
    Jeffster Illustrates the Artisan Temperament <---- click here

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  8. #8
    Senior Member syndatha's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeffster View Post
    No system is perfect.
    True. Correction: as perfect as a system may be
    My point (which I didn't make) is that the enneagram goes far beyond the stereotype description of each type. It also considers levels of development/maturity, and is actually quite complex.
    I will answer more extensively later, but it's 3 am here, and my head really needs to find the pillow

  9. #9
    Senior Member syndatha's Avatar
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    BTW the enneagram also describes each type's relation to either parent. If you had a very close relationship with your mother, that also suggests type 3. 7s relationship with mother is described as ambivalent.
    9s are connected to both parents, and 4 is alienated from both parents

  10. #10
    veteran attention whore Jeffster's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by syndatha View Post
    BTW the enneagram also describes each type's relation to either parent. If you had a very close relationship with your mother, that also suggests type 3. 7s relationship with mother is described as ambivalent.
    9s are connected to both parents, and 4 is alienated from both parents
    Wait, are you saying that the Enneagram type is developed based on one's relationship with one's parents? Or just that people of certain types have typically had a certain relationship with their parents?

    For the record, I felt alienated from both parents as a child, but after my parents divorced when I was 13 and I lived with just my mother, we developed our relationship over time and I think eventually became quite close.
    Jeffster Illustrates the Artisan Temperament <---- click here

    "I like the sigs with quotes in them from other forum members." -- Oberon

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