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  1. #1
    Senior Member TopherRed's Avatar
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    Default The Need to Chillax As a 1

    How does one reach "The Level of Liberation" as a 1? I mean I'm a 1w2, and i've been working on my 9-wing, but I feel like my intense focus on perfection is getting old, and I'd really like a different way of doing things/looking at things...or at least the ability not to care so much.

    I've read that the healthest level, "The Level of Liberation", is reached when one sucessfully transcends their ego. How can I do this? Do I just stop caring about everything, realize that people (and myself) are all human and put a stop to my attempts to "fix" everything, or am I missing something? How does this work?
    Love is the point.

  2. #2
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    I was talking about this this morning with my boyfriend (who I believe to be a 9). I am constantly trying to control and fix everything in my environment whereas he has a "who cares" mentality that can drive me up the wall, but generally has a neutralising affect.

    I still have no idea how to overcome this major problem area of mine. It's like I need anger management. I just cannot stand it when people are careless. I remind myself of my father, so that has a calming effect if I just remember that I'm being the same tyrant I feared as a child. I'm learning to laugh at myself and to make jokes when I feel embittered. Self-deprecatory usually. It helps.

  3. #3
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fuzzcrossed View Post
    How does one reach "The Level of Liberation" as a 1? I mean I'm a 1w2, and i've been working on my 9-wing, but I feel like my intense focus on perfection is getting old, and I'd really like a different way of doing things/looking at things...or at least the ability not to care so much.

    I've read that the healthest level, "The Level of Liberation", is reached when one sucessfully transcends their ego. How can I do this? Do I just stop caring about everything, realize that people (and myself) are all human and put a stop to my attempts to "fix" everything, or am I missing something? How does this work?
    I think integrating the fact that much in life is in fact out of your control could help. You can't control/account for other peoples' behavior, nor change their behavior if they in fact don't value what you value and aren't seeking or desiring change in the first place; you can only really account for your own. I think a lot of times we intellectually understand this, but understanding it doesn't mean really accepting it.

    Maybe ultimately picking/finetuning your 'battles'/projects, and learning which ones are really, truly important to you and which ones to let go on. Making sure if you're trying to 'fix'/help someone else or something else, that that person is actually seeking your help. Also accepting the fact that your level of perfection/drive is not something everyone else prioritizes to the same extent. Asking yourself WHY you have such a drive to "fix" everything and why you have such a drive for perfection...maybe if you really understand why you're doing it, and what aspect of yourself is being fulfilled by doing so, it'll give you hints as to how to balance yourself out more...as it sounds like you're wanting that.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  4. #4
    Senior Member TopherRed's Avatar
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    It's taken me until now to realize that I need to look carefully before I leap into friends, a group, or an organization. It's a little like dating...you can't go into a relationship thinking you can fix it.

    This also applies to new groups: I think I need to pay attention to the maturity of a community, before I join one; if it's new, and it doesn't have a solid foundation, chances are I don't need to be a part of it.

    The same principle can also be used with new people; I shouldn't make friends (or at least real friends, friends who's opinions matter), until I've observed them for awhile--if their behavior is that of love and maturity, then it wouldn't be bad to get closer, if not, then I am friendly, but I should probably try to keep my distance.
    Love is the point.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Heinel's Avatar
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    I had noticed that when I'm around duals they can usually calm me down when I'm really agitated, or excite me when I am holding back. I haven't found another way that's as effective as duals.
    Check out my blog: http://OrnateRitual.com

  6. #6
    Obsession. Lethe's Avatar
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    Default

    "Chillax"?

    Never heard of it.



    Quote Originally Posted by Fuzzcrossed View Post
    How does one reach "The Level of Liberation" as a 1? I mean I'm a 1w2, and i've been working on my 9-wing, but I feel like my intense focus on perfection is getting old, and I'd really like a different way of doing things/looking at things...or at least the ability not to care so much.

    I've read that the healthest level, "The Level of Liberation", is reached when one sucessfully transcends their ego. How can I do this? Do I just stop caring about everything, realize that people (and myself) are all human and put a stop to my attempts to "fix" everything, or am I missing something? How does this work?
    For me, it's not that I care less, it's that I've learned better methods of handling disturbing issues, instead of trying to ram everything into a single pigeon-hole. So I take things one at a time, and focus on what I could do in the moment -- trusting that my efforts will eventually build up to something greater than I'd initially imagined. If there's nothing to be improved, the answer to that should be obvious. You have a choice to stay or leave; you're not bound to those unfortunate circumstances forever.

    Quote Originally Posted by Fuzzcrossed View Post
    It's taken me until now to realize that I need to look carefully before I leap into friends, a group, or an organization. It's a little like dating...you can't go into a relationship thinking you can fix it.

    This also applies to new groups: I think I need to pay attention to the maturity of a community, before I join one; if it's new, and it doesn't have a solid foundation, chances are I don't need to be a part of it.

    The same principle can also be used with new people; I shouldn't make friends (or at least real friends, friends who's opinions matter), until I've observed them for awhile--if their behavior is that of love and maturity, then it wouldn't be bad to get closer, if not, then I am friendly, but I should probably try to keep my distance.
    I still jump right in. I have faith in my abilities to handle any problems as they arise, ...and if I don't have the resources to do so... well, then I should go get them!
    "I cannot expect even my own art to provide all of the answers -- only to hope it keeps asking the right questions." -- Grace Hartigan

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  7. #7
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fuzzcrossed View Post
    It's taken me until now to realize that I need to look carefully before I leap into friends, a group, or an organization. It's a little like dating...you can't go into a relationship thinking you can fix it.

    This also applies to new groups: I think I need to pay attention to the maturity of a community, before I join one; if it's new, and it doesn't have a solid foundation, chances are I don't need to be a part of it.

    The same principle can also be used with new people; I shouldn't make friends (or at least real friends, friends who's opinions matter), until I've observed them for awhile--if their behavior is that of love and maturity, then it wouldn't be bad to get closer, if not, then I am friendly, but I should probably try to keep my distance.
    I think it's really just a matter of assessing things and 'maximizing' your energies for where they could be used to greatest effect. Trying to find *mutually* beneficial/healthy relationships/communities/groups.

    To the last paragraph - observing people before diving in - that's so instinctual for me, I don't know any other way!!! But that would be the difference between you being an E and me an I -- my first step is to assess/observe/analyze, and only after time am I able to deem whether the person or situation is one I want to devote my energies towards. As an extrovert this might not come as easily to you. Might take time to find a good balance....and your balance and what you end up deciding works best for you might end up being different from what I do as an introvert - maybe you'll find a third way.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

    My Photography and Watercolor Fine Art Prints!!! Cascade Colors Fine Art Prints
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  8. #8
    Babylon Candle Venom's Avatar
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    i think you and I have discussed this before. In fact i think the thread is in this very forum section for your benefit .

    I can basically sum up the change in orientation as focusing on/accepting:

    WHAT IS

    versus

    WHAT SHOULD BE

    The best example is politics. I don't argue anymore about how I think politics should be. I simply focus on "what is" and I no longer feel the need to "inform people", "change people" or "conform to people's opinions of politics". Its basically accepting that your ideals are not what is actually observed in the world.

    I dont even really mean "focus on Se". Nor do I mean giving up personal ideals. Its simply acknowledgment of the different perspectives (and the fact that what you think should be is not always congruent with what will be).

    The true transformation is not that you simply acknowledge the other perspective. Its that you then use this information to prevent yourself from getting worked up over "what should be". This is much more effective than simply thinking, "relax!". This identifies the source of anxieties.

  9. #9
    Senior Member TopherRed's Avatar
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    I appreciate the clarification. I've been realizing, especially lately, how often I've been idealizing people and my relationships with them.

    I think I'm overinvesting myself. I might also be socially defective somehow. Concretely, proven over time, I think I might have 2 real friends. The rest are all "allies" that I probably invest too much into emotionally. F is kinda a cruel mistress.
    Love is the point.

  10. #10
    ^He pronks, too! Magic Poriferan's Avatar
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    When I read that as a 1, I should learn to let go, I asked myself what the difference is between letting go and giving up.

    I still don't have an answer.
    Go to sleep, iguana.


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