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  1. #31
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    Also, 9w8 is not really interested in leadership, and the 8 is really natural at it. Leadership is too much work and responsibility, and it might overwhelm the 9.

    Many times in my life, I've been told, "I thought you were nice?", "I thought you were class and sophisticated?", "I thought you were kind?" LOL

    They're so surprised to see me brusque, rude, and swearing when I was angry because they were not used to see me in that state (in my usual passive nice demeanor)

  2. #32
    Blood of the Exile Animal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DiscoBiscuit View Post
    The weird thing about being one of the leader types, is that people look at leaders as either the messiah or satan.

    People seem to have a hard time seeing us as just people.
    It's lonely at the top =/

    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    This means you need to work to show vulnerability. When you're a "leader" you are often trying to work hard to be and appear strong. This can distance you from other people. To bring them back in, to get them to see you as a person, you need to show some of the flip side that is hidden: vulnerability.
    This is poignant advice. Easier said than done, but very necessary. Unfortunately, when someone (like an 8) is used to hiding their vulnerability even from themselves, it can sometimes come out in the wrong ways - like anger fits for instance - and this can actually get in the way of good leadership. Learning to be vulnerable overall will make the process smoother and will make a person a stronger, and more beloved and respected leader because they're human. But showing vulnerability in the wrong ways, which will happen if it's repressed, can lead to being taken advantage of or compromising the project / leadership position.
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  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by Porsche View Post
    Also, 9w8 is not really interested in leadership, and the 8 is really natural at it. Leadership is too much work and responsibility, and it might overwhelm the 9.
    It does come naturally to me, and I take it one step at a time, but it overwhelms even me in retrospect. Sometimes I look back on a project and say "How the F did I do it.." and feel like I want to retreat and be by myself for a long time. I have a strong line to 5, I suppose. But then, I end up falling into another leadership position eventually, one way or another.
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  4. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by wolfy View Post
    I remember you said you thought you were 9w1 before. I thought you'd be 9w8 or 8w9. Isn't eight more about the core need to be self reliant? That doesn't necessarily make a person aggressive.

    An eight would most definitely be assertive but not necessarily aggressive.
    I am curious to hear from other 8s whether this is the case. I think of myself as assertive rather than aggressive but I'm probably more aggressive in the eyes of others than I realize??? I would assume a person who is assertive at their best would have the potential to be aggressive at their worst, even without realizing it and chalking it up to being assertive?

    Quote Originally Posted by Magia View Post
    Someone once described an 8w9 a bit like an alligator. Happy sauntering along in the cool water, not bothering anyone... unless provoked or hungry!
    Lol.

    I don't know how realistic that is. 8s love a challenge or a conflict. I don't go around picking fist-fights or starting arguments with people I care about for no reason, but I will certainly blow off steam on an internet forum or a political debate online. Are there 8s out there who are fine without any of this?


    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    @DiscoBiscuit
    this just sounds like a confident, secure guy. I relate to it and I'm a 7w6
    That's what I hate about most 8w9 descriptions. They don't touch on the ugly side until you read Naranjo. =/
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  5. #35
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maybe View Post
    I am curious to hear from other 8s whether this is the case. I think of myself as assertive rather than aggressive but I'm probably more aggressive in the eyes of others than I realize??? I would assume a person who is assertive at their best would have the potential to be aggressive at their worst, even without realizing it and chalking it up to being assertive?
    from what I've seen of you on personality cafe, you don't come off as aggressive at all. mostly people just get pissed at you and you calmly respond. some people tend to assume you're being aggressive when you're really not if you say something confidently and unapologetically, but they're stupid and worth ignoring.


    Lol.
    I don't know how realistic that is. 8s love a challenge or a conflict. I don't go around picking fist-fights or starting arguments with people I care about for no reason, but I will certainly blow off steam on an internet forum or a political debate online. Are there 8s out there who are fine without any of this?
    LOL same here XD


    That's what I hate about most 8w9 descriptions. They don't touch on the ugly side until you read Naranjo. =/
    yeah. even though I relate to a few of type 8's defense mechanisms, the Naranjo 8 description was like "WTF?! I am DEFINITELY not that!" (though it described my best friend who is an 8w7 to a tee). descriptions that only focus on the positive leave much more room for mistyping (it's one reason 3s, 7s and 8s mistype as each other all the time). a good description will make your stomach sink a bit and think "damn it....that's me"
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  6. #36
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    An eight would most definitely be assertive but not necessarily aggressive.
    That makes more sense to me. Constant impulsive aggressiveness would not be an effective strategy for becoming a top CEO or an army general or any type of leader, which is an 8 stereotype. The stereotype that all 8s are constantly aggressive doesn't seem a necessary result of the motives, fears, and stereotypical personae associated with 8.

    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    from what I've seen of you on personality cafe, you don't come off as aggressive at all. mostly people just get pissed at you and you calmly respond. some people tend to assume you're being aggressive when you're really not if you say something confidently and unapologetically, but they're stupid and worth ignoring.
    Thank you =D

    LOL same here XD
    My father is a 7w8 and he LOVES his political debates online. He indulges his line to 1... lol.

    yeah. even though I relate to a few of type 8's defense mechanisms, the Naranjo 8 description was like "WTF?! I am DEFINITELY not that!" (though it described my best friend who is an 8w7 to a tee). descriptions that only focus on the positive leave much more room for mistyping (it's one reason 3s, 7s and 8s mistype as each other all the time). a good description will make your stomach sink a bit and think "damn it....that's me"
    When I read the 8 description - a few months ago - I felt sick to my stomach. (Still do!) I've written songs about local sociopaths because I felt like they were expressing something that was buried deep inside me, and reading that, it brought out really painful things. I had mistyped at 3, as you know, and reading the 3 description, I can relate to it a little bit (as I can to all of the desriptions) but I'm not really "hysterical" by any means. 7 was also a possibility for me, but reading that description, it described my father to a T - he is an absolute balls-out, classic 7. But the differences between our cores are apparent. I read through the whole book hoping to find another type and even convinced myself I was a 2 for a few days. But then, when I finally started to accept it and told my parents about it - my parents are psychiatrists and can understand these principles - they both separately were relieved that I finally acknowledged my sadism. I felt sick. That's how you know you found your type, I suppose. It's also part of why I felt raw about being attacked on PerC when the implications of my core are still sinking in. This site, so far, is *soooo much betteR* =D

    I should add, though, that I've always seen my *best* potentials in Type 8, too. The leadership & magnanimity is clear. So, the typing experience wasn't all bad because I saw my best & worst in the type.
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  7. #37
    Senior Member Entropic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    a good description will make your stomach sink a bit and think "damn it....that's me"
    Agreed. Naranjo did that to me when I read about 5 and from then on I didn't have to look further. It was just so obvious and in my face. So clearly undeniable. I think finding your type should always be like that.

    I was waiting for the day you and I would meet.

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