Writing in my blog has helped with the vulnerability aspect I think.
Yea, you do seem a bit more relaxed. People actually need us, especially as men, to share these feelings. We can lead by example and show that it is okay to feel deeply and be complex, and of course it's okay. But, by showing that it is good to feel and respond, we create a safe place for everyone else and set a positive example of integration.
I think an impressive, healthy man is one that can expose his soft underbelly without feeling in danger. It is like the peacock and males of other bird species. They grow luxurious plumage that stands out and makes them a target to predators. But, by making such a strong and confident display, they are proving health and vigor, especially to females. I think emotional health functions in much the same way for men.
"Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."
My dad is an 8w9, he makes a very good mentor. I agree with the slight introverted quality, it actually made him hard to type. As for leading people, he's had the opportunity many times, and refuses to do it. He'd rather not deal with the stress, and he can keep his self-dependence, though I'm 100% sure that he'd be able to lead better than anyone else could. Most of the time, he's calmer than I am, sometimes when I expect him to go off, he'll just about laugh, it's almost unpredictable. Occasionally he goes off his head and it's usually at the small stuff, and it doesn't last very long, he's learned how to deal with it for the most part.
hey Disco, and other 8w9s, what is the core of being an 8w9? i mean, what would you describe as the key parts of being 8w9?
how much does the 9 wing temper the 8 aggresiveness?
i have always thought of 8s (with either wing) as very aggressive and dominant at all times, but maybe that is not true. do you 8w9s feel uncomfortable or resentful if you have to forfeit leadership or control over a group?
i am wondering because i always thought i was too laid-back to be an 8w9, but i am now wondering if i am one.