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  1. #51
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Hello, my name is CaptainChick, and I am a romantic.

    It's really weird, like, it doesn't fit, or something, hrm, hard to explain.

    Do you guys ever feel like your "spirit" doesn't match your shell?

    I do, often.

    Like, ugh, I don't know why I am so loud and opinionated, sometimes I hear myself and I sound so gruff. Sometimes I wish I would just shut the fuck up. Sometimes I wish I were more feminine.

    How can such a gruff tomboy be such a romantic, it makes no sense!!!
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  2. #52
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    O, hai!!!
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  3. #53
    Senior Member Gauche's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainChick View Post

    Like, ugh, I don't know why I am so loud and opinionated, sometimes I hear myself and I sound so gruff. Sometimes I wish I would just shut the fuck up. Sometimes I wish I were more feminine.

    How can such a gruff tomboy be such a romantic, it makes no sense!!!
    Those fuckin' doubts are what makes you a romantic.


    I have found a magic in those little bitches (doubts) and they empower me now.

  4. #54
    ^He pronks, too! Magic Poriferan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainChick View Post
    Hello, my name is CaptainChick, and I am a romantic.

    It's really weird, like, it doesn't fit, or something, hrm, hard to explain.

    Do you guys ever feel like your "spirit" doesn't match your shell?

    I do, often.

    Like, ugh, I don't know why I am so loud and opinionated, sometimes I hear myself and I sound so gruff. Sometimes I wish I would just shut the fuck up. Sometimes I wish I were more feminine.

    How can such a gruff tomboy be such a romantic, it makes no sense!!!
    I actually see no contradiction in being a tomboy and a romantic.
    Go to sleep, iguana.


    _________________________________
    INTP. Type 1>6>5. sx/sp.
    Live and let live will just amount to might makes right

  5. #55
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    So yeah, I am drunk, it is officially Jesus' birthday, or something, fuck, or is that Easter..

    Anyhow, I am here, with my dog, in the living room listening to music, and feeling the love.

    What a lovely evening tonight has been.

    I am a lover, not a hater.

    And I love all the myriad forms of love.

    Love is what keeps us together, a salve of sorts, an existential glue.

    When I get you, I let you in.

    When you and I become reflections of each other, oh how the we validates the me, and disintegrates the you.

    Reflection yields connection.

    Hello, yes, hi, how are you?
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  6. #56
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Lonely is lonely

    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  7. #57

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    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainChick View Post
    Hello, my name is CaptainChick, and I am a romantic.

    It's really weird, like, it doesn't fit, or something, hrm, hard to explain.

    Do you guys ever feel like your "spirit" doesn't match your shell?

    I do, often.

    Like, ugh, I don't know why I am so loud and opinionated, sometimes I hear myself and I sound so gruff. Sometimes I wish I would just shut the fuck up. Sometimes I wish I were more feminine.

    How can such a gruff tomboy be such a romantic, it makes no sense!!!
    Yeh, almost everyone I know would laugh if I got called a romantic. In the traditional sense I am so far from it. Most of my friends type me more as desperate than perfectionist too, because of my relationship record. Or because we like to stir each other . They sort of don't notice the number of opportunities I walk past though and the annoying perfectionism. In a day I can find reasons to flaw most love I feel. But at the same time reinforce it. It is one f**kup waiting to occur. But at the same time it is beautful. Don't know who is compatible with a type four. Or maybe one day I just find something right and get it all right. Wouldn't be that unusual for an ENFP.

    Most of my writing shows my ENFPness, but this one really shows my type 4, and I wanted to post it. Sorry if people dislike random poetry moments .

    I have seen a perfect love.
    How could I look for less?
    How could I choose to settle for
    one who partially connects?

    I have seen a perfect love;
    one no man could forget.
    So comfortable in its place..
    So tender in its ways..

    My mind may still grow old.
    My mind may still grow tired.
    And I may drift away
    from what love I once desired.

    My heart may still grow cold.
    My mind may still forget.
    But I've seen a perfect love.
    How could I look for less?
    Freude, schöner Götterfunken Tochter aus Elysium, Wir betreten feuertrunken, Himmlische, dein Heiligtum! Deine Zauber binden wieder Was die Mode streng geteilt; Alle Menschen werden Brüder, Wo dein sanfter Flügel weilt.

  8. #58
    Senior Member
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    Default 4 is the loneliest number

    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainChick View Post
    If you feel like a pathological freak, but also embrace and foster your freakiness, you are probably a four.

    If you view life through your heart, you are probably a four.

    My heart needs to bleed in order for me to feel alive.

    I am attracted to suffering and sadness.

    Give me depth or give me death, basically.



    I know I am a four because I read a book, and out of the nine options, four resonates with me the absolute most, like to a nauseating degree.

    Sometimes I think I would be happier if I weren't a four.


    Eh, no.

    Though I relate to 2s and 2-ness.


    Thanks Anja.

    It isn't that I hate my 4-ness, it just gets old sometimes.

    Like feelings of what should have been strictly adolescent alienation have yet to cease.

    Whatevs, I'm cool, yo.
    I tested 4 on the Ennegram, but, yup, this confirms it. And, yeah, you're cool--and warm.
    It's a blessing...and a curse.

    Originally Posted by Anja
    I don't have room for shame in my life.

    INFJ, 4w5 sx

  9. #59
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    Default 4 is the loneliest number

    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainChick View Post
    Hello, my name is CaptainChick, and I am a romantic.

    It's really weird, like, it doesn't fit, or something, hrm, hard to explain.

    Do you guys ever feel like your "spirit" doesn't match your shell?

    I do, often.

    Like, ugh, I don't know why I am so loud and opinionated, sometimes I hear myself and I sound so gruff. Sometimes I wish I would just shut the fuck up. Sometimes I wish I were more feminine.

    How can such a gruff tomboy be such a romantic, it makes no sense!!!
    CC, I am one of the intensely romantic people I know and I've been a card-carrying tomboy since birth. One has nothing to do with the other, except, perhaps to intensifiy each other. At least that's the conclusion I've reached at age 60. My age doesn't make me wiser; I've just had more experience with this whole apparent romantic/tomboy conflict. Having been around the block a few times and through Georgia twice, I'm getting more comfortable with how the two interact. I have no idea if this makes sense to anyone but me, but I hope it does.
    It's a blessing...and a curse.

    Originally Posted by Anja
    I don't have room for shame in my life.

    INFJ, 4w5 sx

  10. #60
    violaine
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    I'm 4w5 CC

    Yes, it can be tough being a 4 much as I hate to say it out loud (because it's such a 4 thing to say, ). When I first started reading about some of the challenges for 4s my heart sank. (i.e. being attached to longing, feeling unique and hence exempt from the rules everyone else lives by, problems tolerating ordinariness). It seemed like it would be very difficult to be content in life as a 4. Thank the gods for the enneagram recommendations for growth! They have really helped me to outgrow a few things and accept myself and calm the internal storms a little.

    As to the tomboy thing, I wouldn't say I am strictly a tomboy, but I am not 'girly' and have always preferred the company of boys/men and similarly non-'girly' women. I am very romantic. Though not in what I think of as the 'generic' sense. I have zero interest in the usual tokens of love people feel compelled to exchange if it's just for being in full view of the rest of the world. Bridezilla types repulse me. Valentine's Day used to disgust me for years, starting age 14 or so, lol. I want real and 'do what you really feel', not prescribed. I think that can make a very romantic (to the core) 4 come across as not traditionally romantic and perhaps a little hard, though the opposite is true. It's due to the desire for authenticity.

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