User Tag List

123 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 30

  1. #1

    Default The conundrum of social 4s

    The desire to be different, and yet, the deep an intense yearning to fit in.

    The obsession with "normality" and "mainstream", and yet the constant plague of feeling like a hideous outsider.

    The pride of being "different" and an "individual", and yet, the envy of wanting to belong to something larger than oneself.

    Such a conflicting state of mind?

    Social 4s are often portrayed as the self-inflicted "victims" of the Enneagram, but I personally think their fixation is extremely fascinating and human. There is a comforting "strength" in exploring their dilemma, as I think that "social shame" is more relevant today than ever.

    Let's talk about social 4s! Thoughts?

  2. #2
    Senior Member Ghost's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    5w4 sp/so
    Posts
    899

    Default

    Social 4s read as having a kind of externalized anxiety to me. I don't know how to explain it well. It's just something about the energy they give off.
    Likes TheEndIsNotTheEnd, Kas liked this post

  3. #3

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Ghost View Post
    Social 4s read as having a kind of externalized anxiety to me. I don't know how to explain it well. It's just something about the energy they give off.
    I agree. Would you say that they are easily confused with 6s?

  4. #4
    Senior Member Ghost's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    5w4 sp/so
    Posts
    899

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by TheEndIsNotTheEnd View Post
    I agree. Would you say that they are easily confused with 6s?
    I think so. It's the contradictions and the vacillating. I think Social Four can superficially have that in common with Six.

  5. #5

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Ghost View Post
    I think so. It's the contradictions and the vacillating. I think Social Four can superficially have that in common with Six.
    Social 4s seem at odds with themselves and their ideas. To me, they embody the tortured artist more than any other type.
    Likes Numbly Aware liked this post

  6. #6
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4w5 sp/sx
    Socionics
    IEI Ni
    Posts
    7,657

    Default

    Social 4s don't seem anxious to me. They seem the most openly whiny and elitist, at worst, but also the most openly vulnerable in a courageous way. I don't find them a conundrum. Their envy and shame is the most apparent. They are the most prototypical fours to me. I couldn't ever confuse them with sixes

    I mean this in the best sense . Seriously, this makes them incredibly articulate about the inner life and the stuff a lot of people don't want to touch. Some of the most amazing writers and lyricists and poets are SO fours.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  7. #7
    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    4w5 sp/sx
    Posts
    9,395

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    Social 4s don't seem anxious to me. They seem the most openly whiny and elitist, at worst, but also the most openly vulnerable in a courageous way. I don't find them a conundrum. Their envy and shame is the most apparent. They are the most prototypical fours to me. I couldn't ever confuse them with sixes

    I mean this in the best sense . Seriously, this makes them incredibly articulate about the inner life and the stuff a lot of people don't want to touch. Some of the most amazing writers and lyricists and poets are SO fours.
    Exactly. I was going to say that they feel very brave to me, in a way, me inside out. I hear the shame and envy and despair, it's the opposite of 6 fear, they aren't looking for refuge, they're just out there, naked.

  8. #8
    Da Voodoo Boogie man's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Enneagram
    7w6 sx/sp
    Socionics
    EIE Ni
    Posts
    73

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Qlip View Post
    they aren't looking for refuge, they're just out there, naked.


    Marilyn Manson, ladies and gents, Social 4 at your service. Out there, naked.
    Likes Qlip, Lotus, labyrinthine, SpankyMcFly liked this post

  9. #9
    Don't touch me. Peter Deadpan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    MBTI
    eNFP
    Enneagram
    471 sp/sx
    Posts
    1,926

    Default

    I'm having trouble settling on my instinctual variant. Does anyone have a test recommendation? I relate to some of what has been said here, but I'm just not sure.

    Edit: Nvm. I'm Sx/So but by a hair.

  10. #10
    Twerking & Lurking ayoitsStepho's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    MBTI
    ISFP
    Enneagram
    4w3 so/sx
    Posts
    4,836

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Qlip View Post
    Exactly. I was going to say that they feel very brave to me, in a way, me inside out. I hear the shame and envy and despair, it's the opposite of 6 fear, they aren't looking for refuge, they're just out there, naked.
    As a 4w3 so/sx, I relate with this.

    For me, my nakedness is my way of controlling the hurt, shame, envy and despair. If I control the outbreak of information about my short comings and/or faults then it doesn't hurt if someone talks about it or points it out because I chose to put myself out there and prepared myself mentally and spiritually to deal with it. I don't know if it really is so "brave" in that case. Really, it's a way for me to not get hurt. How can anyone criticize my problems if I've already pointed them out and critiqued it myself? It's only happened a very few times in my life where someone pointed out something that I didn't even realize was a problem in me and it hurt badly. I felt ashamed, stupid, less than and it took a while to get over.
    For me, my nakedness is actually my shield.
    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    ayoitsStepho is becoming someone else. Actually her true self, a rite of passage.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO