1.) Select all of your fears.
- The fear of deprivation and pain.
- The fear of lacking a unique, significant identity.
- The fear of being evil or corrupt.
- The fear of being harmed or controlled by others.
- The fear of being unloved or unwanted by others.
- The fear of loss and separation from others.
- The fear of being unaccomplished and worthless.
- The fear of being helpless and inadequate.
- The fear of being without support or guidance.
2) Choose your three worst tendencies.
- Becoming frustrated with others because of their faults.
- Conserving everything for yourself.
- Showcasing your successes and failing to admit you have faults.
- Becoming anxious about things that might happen.
- Never being satisfied, constantly wanting to experience more.
- Wanting to acquire what other people have.
- Thinking that others can't help themselves as much as you can.
- Constantly expressing anger.
- Not taking action.
3.) How do you express anger?
- Externalized anger: Openly displayed anger.
- Repressed anger: Avoidance of showing anger openly, but it sometimes manifests as passive-aggressiveness.
- Internalized anger: Harshly criticizing one's self. May also appear as judgmental tendencies.
4.) How do you express shame?
- Externalized shame: Openly displays shame. May manifest as constantly needing approval or positive feedback.
- Repressed shame: Avoidance of shame. May manifest as trying to prove yourself to avoid the shame that you feel.
- Internalized shame: Keeping shame to yourself. May manifest as failure to believe anyone can understand your pain.
5.) How do you express fear?
- Externalized fear: Expresses fear openly by displaying paranoia through hoarding, Information, possessions) as well as detachment.
- Repressed fear: Avoidance of showing fear. May manifest as surrounding yourself with safety/security and suspiciousness of the unknown.
- Internalized fear: Keeping fear to yourself. May manifest as engaging in fun activities to avoid facing the fear contained within.
6.) Select all sets of traits that are somewhat like you.
- Strong Willed, Decisive, Tough Minded, Domineering, Controlling, Aggressive.
- Analytical, Knowledgeable, Observant, Detached, Isolated, Nihilistic.
- Unique, Emotional, Creative, Self-Absorbed, Self-Deprecating, Self Conscious.
- Easygoing, Trusting, Conciliatory, Self-Effacing, Escapist, Passive Aggressive.
- Empathetic, Altruistic, Sentimental, People-Pleasing, Manipulative, Victimizing.
- Ambitious,Energetic, Self-Assured, Scheming, Narcissistic, Monomaniacal.
- Loyal, Practical, Trustworthy, Fearful, Distrustful, Defensive.
- Moralistic, Perfectionistic, Self-Disciplined, Self-Righteous, Critical, Obsessive.
- Future Oriented, Extroverted, Open Minded, Compulsive, Reluctant, Arrogant.
7.) Select all traits that apply to who you are.
â—‹ Optimistic.
â—‹ Escapist.
â—‹ Adventurous.
â—‹ Extrospective.
â—‹ Compulsive.
â—‹ Hasty.
â—‹ Futuristic.
â—‹ Versatile.
â—‹ Exuberant.
â—‹ Curious.
â—‹ Experiential.
â—‹ Vivacious.
â—‹ Entertaining.
â—‹ Bold.
â—‹ Spontaneous.
â—‹ Enthusiastic.
â—‹ Excessive.
â—‹ Occupied.
â—‹ Materialistic.
â—‹ Pleasure-Seeking.
8.) Select all traits that apply to who you are.
â—‹ Dominant.
â—‹ Conning.
â—‹ Autonomous.
â—‹ Self-Confident.
â—‹ Direct.
â—‹ Powerful.
â—‹ Willful.
â—‹ Charismatic.
â—‹ Dynamic.
â—‹ Destructive.
â—‹ Insensitive.
â—‹ Exhibitionistic.
â—‹ Assertive.
â—‹ Protective.
â—‹ Honest.
â—‹ Decisive.
â—‹ Confrontational.
â—‹ Strong.
â—‹ Demonstrative.
â—‹ Aggressive.
9.) Select all traits that apply to who you are.
â—‹ Melancholic.
â—‹ Emotional.
â—‹ Sensitive.
â—‹ Refined.
â—‹ Individualistic.
â—‹ Introspective.
â—‹ Self-Absorbed.
â—‹ Temperamental.
â—‹ Pessimistic.
â—‹ Self-Centered.
â—‹ Socially Awkward.
â—‹ Romantic.
â—‹ Negative Self-Image.
â—‹ Low Self-Esteem.
â—‹ Shy.
â—‹ Idealistic.
â—‹ Complex.
â—‹ Self-Expressive.
â—‹ Self-Indulgent.
â—‹ Fantasizing.
10.) Select all traits that apply to who you are.
â—‹ Expressive.
â—‹ Interpersonal.
â—‹ Empowering.
â—‹ Intrusive.
â—‹ Manipulative.
â—‹ Nurturing.
â—‹ Histrionic.
â—‹ Caring.
â—‹ Helpful.
â—‹ Supportive.
â—‹ Prideful.
â—‹ Demanding.
â—‹ Empathetic.
â—‹ Selfless.
â—‹ Entitled.
â—‹ Hysterical.
â—‹ Friendly.
â—‹ Approval-Seeking.
â—‹ Needy.
â—‹ Kindhearted.
11.) Select all traits that apply to who you are.
â—‹ Over-Adaptive.
â—‹ Resigning.
â—‹ Paradoxical.
â—‹ Habit-Bound.
â—‹ Distractible.
â—‹ Easygoing.
â—‹ Self-Effacing.
â—‹ Receptive.
â—‹ Agreeable.
â—‹ Stable.
â—‹ Complacent.
â—‹ Indomitable.
â—‹ Conciliatory.
â—‹ Submissive.
â—‹ Passive-Aggressive.
â—‹ Stubborn.
â—‹ Self-Forgetful.
â—‹ Indecisive.
â—‹ Conflict-Avoidant.
â—‹ Unclear.
12.) Select all traits that apply to who you are.
â—‹ Alert.
â—‹ Inventive.
â—‹ Isolated.
â—‹ Contemplative.
â—‹ Private.
â—‹ Fearfully-Uncertain.
â—‹ Independent.
â—‹ Self-Motivated.
â—‹ Withholding.
â—‹ Cold.
â—‹ Insightful.
â—‹ Detached.
â—‹ Observant.
â—‹ Eccentric.
â—‹ Cynical.
â—‹ Cerebral.
â—‹ Analytical.
â—‹ Self-Sufficient.
â—‹ Hypersensitive.
â—‹ Intuitive.
13.) Select all traits that apply to who you are.
â—‹ Success-Oriented.
â—‹ Adaptable.
â—‹ Driven.
â—‹ Image-Conscious.
â—‹ Successful.
â—‹ Paragon.
â—‹ Attention-Seeking.
â—‹ Self-Deceptive.
â—‹ Vain.
â—‹ Deceitful.
â—‹ Superficial.
â—‹ Relentless.
â—‹ Insecure.
â—‹ Self-Promoting.
â—‹ Narcissistic.
â—‹ Competitive.
â—‹ Career-Focused.
â—‹ Ambitious.
â—‹ Opportunistic.
â—‹ Motivating.
14.) Select all traits that apply to who you are.
â—‹ Self-Criticizing.
â—‹ Critical.
â—‹ Perfectionistic.
â—‹ Controlling.
â—‹ Self-Righteous.
â—‹ Principled.
â—‹ Obsessive.
â—‹ Purist.
â—‹ Realistic.
â—‹ Ethical.
â—‹ Punitive.
â—‹ Disciplined.
â—‹ Rational.
â—‹ Dogmatic.
â—‹ Responsible.
â—‹ Reformer.
â—‹ Fixated.
â—‹ Detail-Oriented.
â—‹ Anger-Rejecting.
â—‹ Serious.
15.) Select all traits that apply to who you are.
â—‹ Security-Oriented.
â—‹ Cautious.
â—‹ Suspicious.
â—‹ Trustworthy.
â—‹ Evasive.
â—‹ Cooperative.
â—‹ Doubtful.
â—‹ Rigid.
â—‹ Dedicated.
â—‹ Mindful.
â—‹ Anxious.
â—‹ Reliable.
â—‹ Committed.
â—‹ Defensive.
â—‹ Loyal.
â—‹ Trusting.
â—‹ Ambivalent.
â—‹ Worrying.
â—‹ Perseverant.
â—‹ Concerned.
16.) I feel that my pain cannot be understood by anyone else.
- True.
- False.
17.) My sense of self is based on my attachment to
- My self image of a successful, valuable person.
- My association/loyalty to important people/groups.
- My idealized, internal harmonious view of the world.
- None of these.
18.) I am confrontational.
- True.
- False.
19.) I avoid suffering of any kind.
- True.
- False.
20.) My emotional guard is
- Down, so I can let others in.
- Up, but sometimes I let down my guard when I feel safe.
- Up, I don't want anyone to see my vulnerable side.
21.) I wish to be truly understood.
- True.
- False.
22.) I feel frustrated with
- Things that don't live up to my standards, because I care about making things better.
- That being different doesn't get me what I seek, because I will not change who I am to be better appreciated.
- The present, because the search for what I seek is more exciting than the experience.
23.) To further avoid rejection, I
- Try to love others so much that others won't reject me.
- Cut off my emotional needs, so that my lack of emotion will shield me from further rejection.
- Expect it and give off the impression that I can handle it.
24.) I often pretend that my fears don't exist.
- True.
- False.
25.) I will do anything to hear I'm valued.
- True.
- False.
26.) I openly express my anger.
- True.
- False.
27.) I have something missing that I must find.
- True.
- False.
28.) I don't enjoy introspection, because I don't like what I find.
- True.
- False.
29.) I get angry at and criticize myself.
- True.
- False.
30.) I can relate to, "I have value in the eyes of others".
- True.
- False.
31.) When confronted with a problem, I
- Put aside my wants/feelings to remain objective and may not take the feelings of others into account.
- Can easily set aside my own feelings and will cut corners to make things more efficent.
- Tend to withdraw, since I feel I can solve things on my own.
- None of these.
32.) I avoid my anger whenever I can.
- True.
- False.
33.) I enjoy being able to do whatever I want, whenever I want.
- True.
- False.
34.) I try to keep myself distracted.
- True.
- False.
35.) I have trouble acknowledging my anger.
- True.
- False.
36.) Others notice my anger before I do.
- True.
- False.
37.) I refer to my anger as resentment.
- True.
- False.
38.) I avoid any feelings that are sad and/or painful.
- True.
- False.
39.) I feel annoyed when others don't follow the rules.
- True.
- False.
40.) I try to never show my anger.
- True.
- False.
41.) I tend to hide the fact that I'm vulnerable behind anger.
- True.
- False.
42.) I can relate to, "Why not be angry? It's only an emotion".
- True.
- False.
43.) I have a tendency to make my problems someone else's problems.
- True.
- False.
44.) I need feedback from others to know I'm valued.
- True.
- False.
45.) I feel hurt if someone doesn't give me the validation I need.
- True.
- False.
46.) I avoid the shame I feel.
- True.
- False.
47.) I feel I need to be recognized as impressive by others.
- True.
- False.
48.) I have a tendency to be overly competitive.
- True.
- False.
49.) I feel I must put on an act to earn being valued by others.
- True.
- False.
50.) I feel that others like who I pretend to be more than who I really am.
- True.
- False.
51.) I feel deficient, since I'm not like everyone else.
- True.
- False.
52.) I have problems with melancholy, self-indulgence, and self-pity.
- True.
- False.
53.) I feel that the world is terrifying and I must prepare for it.
- True.
- False.
54.) I tend to be easily overwhelmed.
- True.
- False.
55.) I detach from my emotions.
- True.
- False.
56.) I'm more comfortable dealing with thought than emotions.
- True.
- False.
57.) Becoming more knowledgeable helps me feel less empty.
- True.
- False.
58.) Being in control of my environment helps me feel secure.
- True.
- False.
59.) My fear shows itself through worry/aggressive behavior.
- True.
- False.
60.) I am suspicious of the unknown.
- True.
- False.
61.) I feel that I cannot trust myself, nor the outside world.
- True.
- False.
62.) I choose to adapt in order to
- Be closer to the expectations/values of others, so I can receive validation.
- Be consistent with the beliefs of a figure or system, so I can gain security.
- Get along well with others, so I can attain harmony.
- None of these.
63.) My sense of self is based on my search for the ideal
- Autonomy; Perfection and self control.
- Attention; Someone who completely understands and appreciates me.
- Security and contentment; What awaits.
- None of these.
64.) My gift that I can offer to prevent rejection is
- My heart; I focus on the needs of others and help them however I can.
- My intelligence; I offer my expertise in hopes that it will be appreciated.
- My strength and will; I offer my power and know I can be depended on for leadership and strength.
- None of these.
65.) I get into conflicts by being
- Overly moody, temperamental and self-absorbed.
- Too pessimistic, suspicious and doubtful.
- Too willful, defiant and confrontational.
- None of these.
66.) I get into conflicts by being
- Too clingy, worried and self-important.
- Impatient, irresponsible and excessive.
- Too complacent, inattentive and stubborn.
- None of these.
67.) I get into conflicts by being
- Too impatient, rigid and critical.
- Too competitive, insincere and boastful.
- Too detached, isolated and provocative.
- None of these.
68.) In terms of needs, I tend to
- Reject my own in favor of the needs of others.
- Reject the needs of others in favor for my own.
- Try to balance the needs of others with my own.
69.) I am non-confrontational.
- True.
- False.
70.) I don't like to acknowledge that I get angry.
- True.
- False.
71.) I have a tendency to be passive-aggressive.
- True.
- False.
72.) I express my anger to get what I want.
- True.
- False.
Like me!
