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[Traditional Enneagram] You know you're a type 9 when...

DreamBeliever

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I realized that I'm quite possibly a 9w1. I thought I'd make this post then to see if other 9s relate, & so they could post how they relate to being an E9. I really hope this thread doesn't already exist.

You know you're a type 9 when:

- You can relate to all the enneagram types in some way & possibly multiple mbti types too

- When you believe in "out of sight, out of mind" but know it's not completely true, because no matter how much you put something off it always creeps back up on you. You then get horrible anxiety when you finally have no other choice than to face it. *Kicks work to side* "No work here." *Hits work over the head with shovel* "Work? What work?"

- When you're the mediator for family members & friends

- When you find it hard to pick sides when people close to you are in a fight & constantly find yourself being friends with 2 people that hate each other

- When you're a couple's counselor for your 2 close friends that happen to be dating

- When people trust you & feel like they can open up to you

- You comply to friends requests even when you don't want to. A friend asks to borrow something or do something for/with them & you think to yourself "Say NO! Say you CAN'T!" but end up saying "ok" anyway & beat yourself up for it.

- You accept requests you shouldn't. For example, giving in to dance with someone even if you look like you have two left feet while doing so, or giving someone your number who you eventually realize was flirting with you, but you thought you were just making friendly conversation. All the while, in both situations, thinking "Decline! Say no thanks!"

- You take on different personalities around different people.

- Generally laid back & easy going, sometimes to a fault, but prone to angry outburst when under huge amounts of stress for long periods.

- When you prefer to mentally check out of situations or are unusually positive after a bad life event.

- You dream of a world without violence or disease or anything negative.

- Have a neutral attitude towards lots of things.

- You can't stand to see sadness in someone else's eyes.

- Think that no one's inherently evil.

- Dealing with problems by not dealing with them. Hoping that if you don't acknowledge them they'll go away.

- Multiple friends say you should demand an apology from someone, but you're like "No, that's ok. That would make it more awkward."

- When the commercials with kids with cancer tugs on your heart strings, & you wonder how God could let them suffer like that. "It's just not fair!"

- When you wish the whole world would go vegan, as to not hurt the poor, defenseless animals. (or is that just me?)

- When not having an identity could be your identity.

- When you constantly second guess who you are.

- When you're decisively indecisive. You find it impossible to pick a college major or even decide on what you want to eat.

- When you're still not sure you're a 9, because there's just so many different sides of yourself, & you can't decide which one is the real you.
 
Last edited:

Yeah...Nope.

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Yeah.... I relate to most of them except I LOVE MEAT!!! :D

And identitiy is somewhat important to me. I don't see being a 9 as not having an identity. More of being able to fit in and make whomever it is comfortable hence better communication etc. You don't change the fundamental of your being or become someone else. Just tweak your responses, communication style, and topics accordingly...
 

Ingrid in grids

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Yes, I relate to many of these. I'm a 9w1 too.


.
 

Riva

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Most 9 descriptiond have a w1 bias. And most self identified 9s are also w1s.

9w8s just dont belong in those descriptions.
 

indra

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8
Your best friend of all time tells you he finds your indifference to him offensive.

Sigh.
 

DreamBeliever

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What? I was reading a lot of the "you know you're a 9 when" posts on PersonalityCafe, & I really related to them. The type's been suggested for me on here, too. I made it clear that I'm not certain on if I'm a 9 or not. Isn't that what forums are for? To help us figure ourselves out & discuss these things? Why mock me?
 

uumlau

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Most 9 descriptiond have a w1 bias. And most self identified 9s are also w1s.

9w8s just dont belong in those descriptions.

In my personal research into the topic of Enneagram, the most important discovery for me was a lot of "cruft" in the personality descriptions. That is to say, what happens is that you take everyone who is a 9 (or whatever type), and just plop all of their understandings of their personality into the 9 description, and while most of the stuff that doesn't belong in the description is removed, not all of it is. One's Enneagram type is only part of one's personality, but if there is, say, a close correspondence between an Enneagram type and an MBTI type or two (such as INFP and ISFP for type 9), then that type description will contain a mishmash of stuff that corresponds to those MBTI types but really isn't part of the Enneagram type at all. Similarly, the Enneagram type 5 reads a lot like a mishmash of INTJ and INTP types.

So I look at the Enneagram type 9, and think that in general it fits me better than any of the other types, but when I read the descriptions, as an INTJ, I'm thinking to myself, "That's just stupid."

Below, I've highlighted the points I think go with type 9 in blue, plus commentary explaining why or why not.
 

Entropic

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I'm not a 9 but I have a 9 wing and I don't relate to this at all lol. A lot of this sounds really positive outlook but many of them don't explicitly express which positive outlook type.

The way my 9 appears the most to me is simply an attitude of pointlessness, apathy and indifference. I'll often go fuck that, I can't arse to care anymore and pretend it doesn't exist or affects me.

I'm also much more cynical than what the op expresses and I don't relate much to the statements about caring. That's the thing for me, that I explicitly don't care. Bad shit happening? Why the fuck should I care. Bad shit always happens so zero point getting riled up over it. I also experience 9-ness in how I tend to diminish my own value and importance, feeling as if I'm not relevant or matter.
 

hjgbujhghg

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A lot of things here are very true for me. Actually about 80% of this absolutly fits me.
 

DreamBeliever

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Ok, I understand how that sounded now. I re-worded that in my post. Those were poor choice of words on my part. Hey, didn't you previously suggest ISFP 9w1 for me? Or were you just joking or something? I'd also appreciate if you'd let me know what it is about me saying that that bothered you. I just felt I could see myself in the posts about 9s, but maybe I'm wrong. I'm such an online idiot. :cry:
 

Cygnus

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- You can relate to all the enneagram types in some way & possibly multiple mbti types too

- When you're still not sure you're a 9, because there's just so many different sides of yourself, & you can't decide which one is the real you.

- You take on different personalities around different people.

- When you constantly second guess who you are.

- When not having an identity could be your identity.
In mainstream psychology, all people find themselves exhibiting "all personality traits, in some scenario or another." That's how fortune tellers cheat you: they make up blanket psychoanalytical narratives that can apply loosely to anyone, tell them to you, and then you're left thinking they know your innermost thoughts.


DreamBeliever said:
- When you believe in "out of sight, out of mind" but know it's not completely true, because no matter how much you put something off it always creeps back up on you. You then get horrible anxiety when you finally have no other choice than to face it. *Kicks work to side* "No work here." *Hits work over the head with shovel* "Work? What work?"

- Dealing with problems by not dealing with them. Hoping that if you don't acknowledge them they'll go away.

- When you're decisively indecisive. You find it impossible to pick a college major or even decide on what you want to eat.
An isolated negative trait such as laziness doesn't give you a free pass to identify as an enneagram type that is neither intrinsically positive or negative. Fix your laziness or don't talk about it, don't flaunt it like it's an advantage.



DreamBeliever said:
- When you're the mediator for family members & friends

- When you're a couple's counselor for your 2 close friends that happen to be dating
If there's any enneagram correlation to that, it's 2 and 1, and possibly 3 or 6 in a pinch, since their approach to the world is so strategic.



DreamBeliever said:
- When people trust you & feel like they can open up to you
"I have friends! I'm capable of human affection! There's still a chance I won't die alone!"


DreamBeliever said:
- When you find it hard to pick sides when people close to you are in a fight & constantly find yourself being friends with 2 people that hate each other

- You comply to friends requests even when you don't want to. A friend asks to borrow something or do something for/with them & you think to yourself "Say NO! Say you CAN'T!" but end up saying "ok" anyway & beat yourself up for it.

- You accept requests you shouldn't. For example, giving in to dance with someone even if you look like you have two left feet while doing so, or giving someone your number who you eventually realize was flirting with you, but you thought you were just making friendly conversation. All the while, in both situations, thinking "Decline! Say no thanks!"

- Multiple friends say you should demand an apology from someone, but you're like "No, that's ok. That would make it more awkward."
The way you seem to be flaunting around your conflict-avoidance like a medal is decidedly un-9 like. You're proactively trying to project a certain image to validate your self-typing. Nine is not conflict-avoidant, it is supine and indifferent. The endgame goal of the Nine is to conserve as much energy as possible, and it does this by severing itself from attachment to objects and processes in its environment. The Nine is a jellyfish: it allows the currents to toss it and carry it wherever it may go, but because it stores all its energy within unless its life is clearly compromised, it survives all of them. I can't help but think a Nine would take a much more serious, invested approach to personality psychology, only choosing to do so if there were a benefit to his inner mind. Your approach, on the other hand, seems distinctly rudimentary and anecdotal, as if investing one's mental or Gut-energy prodigally -- a Nine would invest his energy only when a return on his investment was both guaranteed and crucial to his well-being.




DreamBeliever said:
- Generally laid back & easy going, sometimes to a fault, but prone to angry outburst when under huge amounts of stress for long periods.
Acceptable, but note it seems to resonate with the theme of duality between extremes of human personality that seems to appear often in your thread subject matters. While there's nothing incorrect here, take note that fluctuations between extremes of human personality is present in all human personalities according to psychology; moreover, you seem to show symptoms of a Spotlight Effect, believing your own internal narrative and reactions to situations to be much stranger and more different than the majority of the human population, when, in reality, everyone around you thinks the same of themselves.


If you wish to identify Nine anger, note that it usually involves a sense of personal persecution or having been wronged, rather than a fear-reaction to danger. Remember, the goal of the Nine is not to be perfect or help others, but to minimize damage to the self by "disappearing."




DreamBeliever said:
- You dream of a world without violence or disease or anything negative.

- You can't stand to see sadness in someone else's eyes.

- Think that no one's inherently evil.

- When the commercials with kids with cancer tugs on your heart strings, & you wonder how God could let them suffer like that. "It's just not fair!"

- When you wish the whole world would go vegan, as to not hurt the poor, defenseless animals. (or is that just me?)
I don't intend to disappoint, but you've landed smack dab in the middle of Phony Idealism Central. Here, anecdotal claims of altruism have plummeted in value due to inflation. At this point, I think it's more than fair to say these points don't quite go for anything, even if they are legit.


On the other hand, it's a blessing enough you haven't landed on the Ti-controlled other half of the internet, 4chan Deliberately Forced Cynicism Central.
 

DreamBeliever

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In mainstream psychology, all people find themselves exhibiting "all personality traits, in some scenario or another." That's how fortune tellers cheat you: they make up blanket psychoanalytical narratives that can apply loosely to anyone, tell them to you, and then you're left thinking they know your innermost thoughts.



An isolated negative trait such as laziness doesn't give you a free pass to identify as an enneagram type that is neither intrinsically positive or negative. Fix your laziness or don't talk about it, don't flaunt it like it's an advantage.




If there's any enneagram correlation to that, it's 2 and 1, and possibly 3 or 6 in a pinch, since their approach to the world is so strategic.




"I have friends! I'm capable of human affection! There's still a chance I won't die alone!"



The way you seem to be flaunting around your conflict-avoidance like a medal is decidedly un-9 like. You're proactively trying to project a certain image to validate your self-typing. Nine is not conflict-avoidant, it is supine and indifferent. The endgame goal of the Nine is to conserve as much energy as possible, and it does this by severing itself from attachment to objects and processes in its environment. The Nine is a jellyfish: it allows the currents to toss it and carry it wherever it may go, but because it stores all its energy within unless its life is clearly compromised, it survives all of them. I can't help but think a Nine would take a much more serious, invested approach to personality psychology, only choosing to do so if there were a benefit to his inner mind. Your approach, on the other hand, seems distinctly rudimentary and anecdotal, as if investing one's mental or Gut-energy prodigally -- a Nine would invest his energy only when a return on his investment was both guaranteed and crucial to his well-being.





Acceptable, but note it seems to resonate with the theme of duality between extremes of human personality that seems to appear often in your thread subject matters. While there's nothing incorrect here, take note that fluctuations between extremes of human personality is present in all human personalities according to psychology; moreover, you seem to show symptoms of a Spotlight Effect, believing your own internal narrative and reactions to situations to be much stranger and more different than the majority of the human population, when, in reality, everyone around you thinks the same of themselves.


If you wish to identify Nine anger, note that it usually involves a sense of personal persecution or having been wronged, rather than a fear-reaction to danger. Remember, the goal of the Nine is not to be perfect or help others, but to minimize damage to the self by "disappearing."





I don't intend to disappoint, but you've landed smack dab in the middle of Phony Idealism Central. Here, anecdotal claims of altruism have plummeted in value due to inflation. At this point, I think it's more than fair to say these points don't quite go for anything, even if they are legit.


On the other hand, it's a blessing enough you haven't landed on the Ti-controlled other half of the internet, 4chan Deliberately Forced Cynicism Central.

4chan is a disgusting website. I'll just identify as nothing. :sorry:
 

fetus

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I dig myself into bad situations. :backout:

Don't blame yourself. What the hell is this site if it's not for people trying to explore both themselves and type theory? God. TypeC is not an elitist club for people who think they know everything. We're all human beings. People take this way too far sometimes, y'know?
Anyways, keep on doing what you're doing. I'm grateful that you frequently contribute to this site. You're a kind and searching person, and there need to be more people like you. :hug:
 

Starry

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What? I was reading a lot of the "you know you're a 9 when" posts on PersonalityCafe, & I really related to them. The type's been suggested for me on here, too. I made it clear that I'm not certain on if I'm a 9 or not. Isn't that what forums are for? To help us figure ourselves out & discuss these things? Why mock me?

Ok, I understand how that sounded now. I re-worded that in my post. Those were poor choice of words on my part. Hey, didn't you previously suggest ISFP 9w1 for me? Or were you just joking or something? I'd also appreciate if you'd let me know what it is about me saying that that bothered you. I just felt I could see myself in the posts about 9s, but maybe I'm wrong. I'm such an online idiot. :cry:


Oh no. Wow, DreamBeliever. Misunderstood or not... now that I know just how much the "dry" emoticon can potentially communicate... I swear to limit its use.






So ISFP 9w1 for me, you're thinking? Back it up?


I'm in no way suggesting that all 9s are alike or share the same "presentation" and/or experience... And yet this thread is classic e9 to me (and so of course it was awesome to also see you here providing supportive commentary - hence the "9s discussing 9 stuff.") And I've seen some version of this same op message from every entranced, undecided/untyped 9 I can recall encountering on this board - Stansmith, Elfboy, LadyLazurus, greenfairy, etc., etc.

9s have an interesting dichotomy to me in that I experience them as being very distinct, whole, solid, unchanging people/identities...and yet due to the universal, merging energy...due to being disconnected from the gut/base instinct...entranced 9s do not experience themselves in this same way. Whether they are conscious of it or not...they fear they lack an identity (and subsequently boundaries against "bad merges.")

Entranced 9s attempting to type themselves = not all that fun (especially for entranced 7s) because innocent and super clever people like myself can unknowingly walk headlong into a lose-lose scenario. Quite often a 9 will start off with an enthusiastic "Type Me!" (identify me!)...only to have subsequent contributions immediately protested/shot-down... "Why are you trying to act like you know me when you clearly don't?!" <-And for the finale it's not uncommon for 9s to criticize people for doing precisely what they asked them to do...as well as the process. Just like you guys were doing haha (remember I'm serious and lighthearted here.) I have always said entranced or stressed 9s will tell you who they are.

Basically, 9s merge. They merge with individuals, groups, places, things, professions, moments in time, roles, hobbies...ninjas, super heros, villains, Zen rock gardens, anime & star wars characters, gas powered motors... personality traits.

Think about [MENTION=17131]Chanaynay[/MENTION] ...an e7 with no connection to 9. 7s distract themselves from the shitty things in life and remain hopeful/positive by exploring possibilities. As long as the suggestion wasn't hurtful or offensive he would be happy to consider any type or trait someone threw at him for the fun and interest and exploration of it. Typology...99% non-threatening to 7s.

This is not always the case for 9s. If a 9 has fortified their boundaries by having merged with a trait or habit...an understanding of themselves...simple suggestions to the contrary can become threatening rather quickly. If a 9 has merged with an understanding of themselves that holds they are carefree... and someone claims they actually seem quite rountine...<-to some 9s something that benign can feel a bit threatening. And on typology websites...these kinds of threads get started.



Yes, not so long ago I had mentioned 9w1 to you in passing.


I am somebody that discovered my enneagram type only after totally getting my ass kicked by life. And while I'm quite certain it is different for each individual...there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that the even the slightest understanding of e7 could have softened the blow. And so when it comes to other people wanting to know their type...I don't fuck around. I dump my heart and soul into this shit because I hope that even a vague glimpse of what I say might help someone in someway.

Still, my :dry: was merely a joke. 2, 7, 9 Positive Outlook. <-When entranced we all unknowingly spin reality in our favor. 7s imagine all things to be going fantastically. Our world might be in flames but we literally won't see it because we can't confront pain. So we start to run faster or we distract ourselves with new things or even other people's pain as long as it's not our own.

We all do this to a certain extent but 9s, especially when entranced, have a tendency to assign credit to themselves or the people they are merged with instead of the individuals that are more deserving of this credit. This is not done in an intentionally arrogant or even conscious way. In my opinion it is a misremembering of sorts that stems from not being grounded...and a hidden desire to create a pleasing understanding of themselves that they can be rooted by.

Every single 9 I have typed has done this to me. I work so hard to get the individual to understand they are a 9...take a beating for it due to the threatened feeling I describe above...only to have the individual crediting themselves months later for their self-discovery. I even flat out told one member in the moment that once they figure out what I had told them was true this would happen. And guess what? Another 9 member I had spoken with a quite few times...on and off board regarding how great it was to see them assertively standing up for themselves...embracing their worth and not allowing people to mow them over <--That person later accused me of being someone that...yes...picks on them because I think they are weak and I should know they are stronger now and won't allow it (I hadn't been picking on this person at that time fyi.)

I expect this to happen...it's innocent. I was merely making a joke. Please don't take it the wrong way.
 

DreamBeliever

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Oh no. Wow, DreamBeliever. Misunderstood or not... now that I know just how much the "dry" emoticon can potentially communicate... I swear to limit its use.














Yes, not so long ago I had mentioned 9w1 to you in passing.


I am somebody that discovered my enneagram type only after totally getting my ass kicked by life. And while I'm quite certain it is different for each individual...there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that the even the slightest understanding of e7 could have softened the blow. And so when it comes to other people wanting to know their type...I don't fuck around. I dump my heart and soul into this shit because I hope that even a vague glimpse of what I say might help someone in someway.

Still, my :dry: was merely a joke. 2, 7, 9 Positive Outlook. <-When entranced we all unknowingly spin reality in our favor. 7s imagine all things to be going fantastically. Our world might be in flames but we literally won't see it because we can't confront pain. So we start to run faster or we distract ourselves with new things or even other people's pain as long as it's not our own.

We all do this to a certain extent but 9s, especially when entranced, have a tendency to assign credit to themselves or the people they are merged with instead of the individuals that are more deserving of this credit. This is not done in an intentionally arrogant or even conscious way. In my opinion it is a misremembering of sorts that stems from not being grounded...and a hidden desire to create a pleasing understanding of themselves that they can be rooted by.

Every single 9 I have typed has done this to me. I work so hard to get the individual to understand they are a 9...take a beating for it due to the threatened feeling I describe above...only to have the individual crediting themselves months later for their self-discovery. I even flat out told one member in the moment that once they figure out what I had told them was true this would happen. And guess what? Another 9 member I had spoken with a quite few times...on and off board regarding how great it was to see them assertively standing up for themselves...embracing their worth and not allowing people to mow them over <--That person later accused me of being someone that...yes...picks on them because I think they are weak and I should know they are stronger now and won't allow it (I hadn't been picking on this person at that time fyi.)

I expect this to happen...it's innocent. I was merely making a joke. Please don't take it the wrong way.

Ok, my bad. I just get panicked when I think I might've said something wrong. Life's kicked my ass pretty good this past year. lol Anyway, thanks for all the info. It's helpful.
 

Entropic

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Oh no. Wow, DreamBeliever. Misunderstood or not... now that I know just how much the "dry" emoticon can potentially communicate... I swear to limit its use.














Yes, not so long ago I had mentioned 9w1 to you in passing.


I am somebody that discovered my enneagram type only after totally getting my ass kicked by life. And while I'm quite certain it is different for each individual...there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that the even the slightest understanding of e7 could have softened the blow. And so when it comes to other people wanting to know their type...I don't fuck around. I dump my heart and soul into this shit because I hope that even a vague glimpse of what I say might help someone in someway.

Still, my :dry: was merely a joke. 2, 7, 9 Positive Outlook. <-When entranced we all unknowingly spin reality in our favor. 7s imagine all things to be going fantastically. Our world might be in flames but we literally won't see it because we can't confront pain. So we start to run faster or we distract ourselves with new things or even other people's pain as long as it's not our own.

We all do this to a certain extent but 9s, especially when entranced, have a tendency to assign credit to themselves or the people they are merged with instead of the individuals that are more deserving of this credit. This is not done in an intentionally arrogant or even conscious way. In my opinion it is a misremembering of sorts that stems from not being grounded...and a hidden desire to create a pleasing understanding of themselves that they can be rooted by.

Every single 9 I have typed has done this to me. I work so hard to get the individual to understand they are a 9...take a beating for it due to the threatened feeling I describe above...only to have the individual crediting themselves months later for their self-discovery. I even flat out told one member in the moment that once they figure out what I had told them was true this would happen. And guess what? Another 9 member I had spoken with a quite few times...on and off board regarding how great it was to see them assertively standing up for themselves...embracing their worth and not allowing people to mow them over <--That person later accused me of being someone that...yes...picks on them because I think they are weak and I should know they are stronger now and won't allow it (I hadn't been picking on this person at that time fyi.)

I expect this to happen...it's innocent. I was merely making a joke. Please don't take it the wrong way.

Can you actually explain what you mean with this about 9s? Because the thing about 9s is also the fundamental belief of your own value being of no importance, so taking this kind of credit honestly sounds unlike 9.
 
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