Sounds like the neurotic part of your inner Sx/Sp/So is at work-KitchenFly
Do have much on going troubles with this over compensating part of your being?
4's 2's and nines can have This sheared inner difficulty "team is impotent" we kinda have to survive together would be a topical articulation a simpatico inspired hop to connect believe that self and other are on the same page connected as one on the same Planet.
Are you by chance a Sx:4 ? @KitchenFly
It's interesting how the two Sp functions work within the overcompensation of the type via the sub conches needs to feel centred and free within the psychodrama of selfs need to de expressively free willed.
You seek to limit free will and choice with an other rather than accept diversity within the multiplicity and move on enjoying the aspects of being that generate aliveness within self.
So/sp instinct has its complicated stress stress structure, I know I am human to. Perhaps you would like to shear you hart felt experience as to the type you see your self as being and I could illuminate for you the structure and mechanics that are moving you while your self is focused upon holding balance rather than embracing the a texture of the posture of this inmate controlling component of Being.
Please do tell your story @KitchenFly