Golden_Cherry
New member
- Joined
- Mar 19, 2014
- Messages
- 11
These are the thoughts I have been pondering lately: I seem to have a preoccupation with my behavior in disputes (whether I handled them properly, how I made the other person feel, whether I'm actually making a positive impact), but I'm not sure if that is related to my gut or just being in a chaotic environment. I'm having doubts about it, but I've been considering that I could be Enneagram 9, because I do relate strongly to its fear of internal turmoil/anxiety arising from conflict, but I seem more inclined to squash the external source of my anger or keep my distance from it, rather than repress it. It's actually very challenging for me to not speak from impulse when I disagree with someone, but this is in spite of me knowing that I'm going to further exhaust myself by getting involved. Sometimes the reason I intervene is to attempt to redirect someone's line of thinking to encourage behavior that will keep things more peaceful in the future, instead of brushing the core issue under the rug, but other times it's because of my own intolerance/need to be right. Either way, I often feel hooked into arguments because I can't control what other people say and I can't control how I feel. I don't know what to do with my anger in order to not feel bad, so I speak up or avoid. I just wish in my head that people won't say anything to trigger me (I'm not overbearing or physically aggressive, though). If there are consequences hovering over me (e.g. I'm at work) or if I am really exhausted by the other person or can't get through to them (e.g. irritable roommate), then I might repress, but this seems like pretty average behavior for most people in these situations. I don't know what I truly fear because I don't consistently feel or behave in a particular way. Individual circumstances always seem tied to the type of fear I'm experiencing. Any impressions about what I am or am not, even if they're not conclusive? Can anyone provide some hypothetical situations where our responses to them would be relevant/indicative of Enneagram type? Thanks!
