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View Poll Results: How many 4's do you know IRL? Count only those you are pretty sure (90%) are 4's.

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  • One or less.

    13 37.14%
  • Three or less.

    15 42.86%
  • Five or less.

    7 20.00%
  • Ten or less.

    0 0%
  • Ten or more.

    0 0%
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Results 41 to 48 of 48

  1. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cloud of Thunder View Post
    I understand. I don't have "delicate" sensibilities. In fact, that's partly the reason why I have a hard time embracing 4. There's a kind of dandyism to how the type manifests among people that makes me cringe.
    I don't feel that 4s are "dandy". If anything that's a misconception brought about by the disproportionate number of 4s who claim an IxFP type. I am sure that some of them are mistyped 9s, and it's just that the 4 descriptions talk about "romantic artists" and a whole other load of nonsense. Any type can be artistic, and while I do happen to be a composer, I thought I was a 6 until I explored the 4's core fears and desires, as well as the feedback loops, levels of health and thought "oh my god this is so me", and not in a good way either.

    Reading that shit was pretty confronting for me actually, I felt like I did reading a sheet from my psychologist about SAD...and you feel like an idiot for not having done anything...anyway. I do sometimes doubt my Enneatype; after all I don't have a gift with language, and I'm not that pretentious or vain. But then again, that's just me comparing myself to the descriptions and beating myself up for not being like the others (while secretly feeling pleased that I defy the norm). This is all typical behaviour for a 4, if an unhealthy one.

    So going back to what you were saying, I wouldn't be put off any type by how other people behave. Walking stereotypes of a type are rare, so it's best to take the descriptions with a grain of salt.

  2. #42
    As Long As It Takes.... Redbone's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cloud of Thunder View Post
    I understand. I don't have "delicate" sensibilities. In fact, that's partly the reason why I have a hard time embracing 4. There's a kind of dandyism to how the type manifests among people that makes me cringe.
    Yes, there is. I'm sure Lord Byron was much tougher.

    Seriously though...this annoyed me, too. I couldn't ID with being a 4 because I've had some hard-ass knocks and while I'm moments from breaking down and completely losing it, well..somehow I never do. No matter what I still keep going and that didn't mesh with what I read about 4s. I think it was hanging around another 4 and hearing stuff from other 4s, especially @Qlip and @chickpea that made me think..."yeah, you're one." The sp-4 descriptions really nailed it for me.
    Likes Qlip, chickpea liked this post

  3. #43
    Paranoid Android Video's Avatar
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    I see many counterexamples here to the most frequently described 4 images - like @small.wonder, for just one. I've actually felt some shame about being more obvious as a 4 - who wants to be standard? According to many descriptions, that fits with my reconsideration of social for my stacking. Still close instincts, though.

    Really, any notion I may have had of 4s as a delicate type outside of the unhealthy (and not even all the unhealthy) went out the window very fast when I came to the forums. Learning about the type more has played a part in my moving some pathetic self-concepts out of the way of my strength.
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  4. #44
    Senior Member lulabelle's Avatar
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    i've known two. and i don't speak to either of them anymore :/. a bunch of unhealthy 4w5s=disaster

  5. #45
    Honeyed Water thoughtlost's Avatar
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    I feel like heart types are the least common out of all 9, and then type 4 is the rarest?? I think?
    I do not know any certain 4s. I do wish I had a best friend who was a 4 though.
    You are so arbitrary.

  6. #46
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cloud of Thunder View Post
    I understand. I don't have "delicate" sensibilities. In fact, that's partly the reason why I have a hard time embracing 4. There's a kind of dandyism to how the type manifests among people that makes me cringe.
    Interpretation always makes a big difference. When I read "delicate sensibilities" I think sensitivity in taste, likely because the person over-identifies with their taste as a way to compensate for a poor self-image. I think this is part of the trait structure Naranjo mapped out.

    I always thought any dandyism in a 4 would be cheeky, because there's a hyper self-awareness of image, something that the 4 has conscious shame over. I honestly would expect that more of a 2 or 3, if serious at all, because they are less conscious of their shame and image being an image.

    I think if it's taken into account that the 4 is a withdrawn type, then confusion over dandyism should go away. I had similar thoughts to ideas of 4s being drama queens or divas (which strike me as 2 or 7), even though I have a dose of the melodramatic, it doesn't come out in the way associated with those terms.

    I think Naranjo describes the type as more of a primadonna. Instead of someone who is flamboyantly emotional, I see 4s with a constant sour or melancholy longing look on the face, and they definitely give off a slight air of superiority or a formal distance even if polite. This is partly what makes people hate 4s, just as Naranjo says they have a knack of unconsciously adopting behavior that makes them unlikable.

    In any case, I think I probably do "look" like a 4, so then maybe I am not one :P.

    Quote Originally Posted by johnnyyukon View Post
    What's a 4 like? INFP? Is that like, an idealist head in the clouds artsy type?
    No. That can be many enneagram types & also many MBTI types. It sounds NF or IxFP more than any one enneagram type. Lots of 9s fit that.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

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  7. #47
    Member brainheart's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    In any case, I think I probably do "look" like a 4, so then maybe I am not one :P.
    Yes, but you actually know what a four looks like. My issue is many people hear four and think:



    when typically a four will be more like (and hence the confusion with nine):




    (The reason I said people who knew about enneagram would probably mistake me as a five is because I often have a tendency to hide behind my five wing- so I can seem more detached and cerebral than I am. I also often become the resident 'expert'/ all-knowing one. I think people can often give off more of their wing vibe than their core type at times. I think it can be a defense mechanism, because the core type is such an area of vulnerability.)
    459

  8. #48
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
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    4s aren't the easiest type for me to pick when meeting people and/or they do not seem common, typically those I know to be 4s in my life are those who have self typed and told me that's what they are, or people who I have known for a long time and been able to see past the guarded surface after many deep conversations. I'd say I know of 5, including one who is related, three are INFJs, two are INFPs. I'm most sure of the INFJs.

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