...is that sick feeling in my gut when there is confrontation,
when I feel people are getting all riled up and angry words are about to fly.
I cannot stand them.
Arguments and volitile emotions make me physically sick, like an acute stomach virus, and if my attempts at reasoning or calming are ignored, I'll likely walk away, not because I'm afraid, but because I don't want to say or do something I'll later regret in my efforts to re-establish order. I think for safety's sake, never follow a 9 when they walk out. It is for the protection of others that they do it.
We are trying to avoid going Dark Phoenix (comic book version of X-men, storyline from sometime in the 80s) or becoming the Hulk.
I think 9s have a tendency to want to make it stop even before it starts.
I think also the hardest thing about an eight wing is that a sudden burst of rage comes from seemingly nowhere at all and forcefully demands it to cease and desist.
These are things I don't love about being a 9 and sometimes I wish I had the ability to just not give a care how my words and actions affected others, but I can never turn off the seeing of a dozen different futures and I can never turn off caring about the impact on the lives of others.
And people accuse you of being wishy-washy or a push over, but all the while you're fuming on the inside and it's because you know you see into them enough to verbally cripple them for the rest of their natural lives, but you hold back, not because you're wishy-washy, but because you see things you have no way of explaining, of making them understand. They will ridicule you and mock you and laugh in your face or behind your back and call you crazy and even if you could make them understand, is it your job to do so?
Just a few random thoughts on what it's like to be a 9. Feel free to weigh in, especially if you're a 9.