Disclaimer: Sorry if this is somewhat incoherent; I've had to shat it out in a matter of minutes due to pressing business
I have to confess that I’ve never really put much stock into the Enneagram; it held my interest for a very brief period a year or so back, but when I was unable to properly ascertain my type beyond all doubt I got fed up and left it, returning to Jung’s Psychological Types.
I’ve since been typed professionally as an INFJ, and my own studies of Jung’s work has eradicated any doubt I may have had whatsoever.
Keeping that in mind, I wonder if some ‘5 traits’ resonate with me simply because I am an introvert and also an Ni-dom. For example, yes – I do feel disconnected from physical reality; I do feel like some kind of observer – but at what point does this stop being introverted intuition and begin being an indication of 5?
Equally, I can also understand the need for privacy and having a fear of intrusion. That has always been true of me – even as a kid! I couldn’t stand having anyone around me whilst I was partaking in any kind of activity, and even as an adult I completely lose my shit when someone gets in my personal space – even for really irrational things, like someone looking at what I’m currently browsing through on the internet. Fact is, I’m a largely uninteresting person. There is never anything untoward on my screen, but that doesn’t matter – when I’m engaged in an activity, that’s my own little bubble and any intrusions – even from my own wife at times – really get my back up.
There are other things I have read too, like how 5s will never ask for help. That is me all over; if I do eventually fold and ask for assistance, you can bet your arse I’ve tried and failed on my own 99 times. This is more relating to tasks, though; building something, or implementing something, for example. When it comes to trying to figure my own brain out, I’ll readily turn to others - I appreciate any critique of my character which helps me to better understand myself and avoid falling prey to my blind spots.
Lack of emotion? Check. Obviously my auxiliary Fe occasionally compels me to gesticulate wildly, and engaging me in conversation will be a warm and pleasant experience… but all the while, I’m trying not to smile as much as I want to because I feel awkward as shit about it. I am only truly emotionally open with my wife and daughter – and even that makes me feel weird and drained at times (though more often than not it’s actually quite refreshing to indulge that side of myself).
I think the most glaringly obvious ‘red flag’ that I’m potentially not a type 5 (at least to myself) is that whilst I do indeed research areas of interest and become reasonably well versed within those fields, I don’t do it prolifically (I have few ‘true’ interests) and, MBTI aside, I don’t use my knowledge as any kind of defence. In fact, I’m more liable to be self-conscious when relaying information because I am god awful at retaining facts and details of things.
The other alternative is that I am a type 9, but I (nor my wife) see that being a good fit; I am a laid back and peaceful person, but I’m not conflict avoidant. We both agree that, after reviewing some type descriptions, I’m far more liable to be intellectually contentious than simply sitting back and letting things wash over me. I enjoy (to a degree – it is draining) having my knowledge probed and tested by genuinely interested parties, and I absolutely love having my views challenged… but if you flat out refuse to listen to me and instead assert your own ill-conceived conceptions as fact, I’m going to politely point out that you’re wrong and a wanker. Grinning. Always grinning
But then I am a modest person. I am not intellectually elitist – I would never consider myself to be intelligent enough, to be honest. I know what I know and I’m comfortable with that, save for the odd occasions of a feverish padding out of knowledge because – whoa – I woke up today and suddenly realised I don’t know enough about the world. Must search for and devour fresh materials!
I realise this isn’t very insightful, but I’d appreciate any input or further questions which may be revealing.
I guess I’m still leaning towards something like 9w8… but considering how laid back and conflict avoidant the 9 is meant to be, I’d have to be a *pretty* big 8 wing :p
Hmm. Much to ponder.