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  1. #21
    alchemist Legion's Avatar
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    My opinion is 5.

    I often see INFJ as a 5-correlate. You seem to be more not-9 than not-5. You may see differences between yourself and other 5s due to their usage of T.

    Now, if you're into compatibility type stuff: Type 8-Type 9 is probably more common but Type 8-Type 5 is a better match. Demographics female 8-male 9 is very common, but marriages are often adjacent along a line of integration.

    Also, if you go for tritype, you would have 9 and 5 in your tritype.
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  2. #22
    Senior Member pmj85's Avatar
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    Thanks, Legion.

    I'm currently in conversation with a member of another forum who has done quite a lot of study into the enneagram; she maintains (and has for a good while now) that I'm a type six. I've remained open-minded to the possibility, but try as I might I just can't make it fit. I acknowledge that sometimes 'fear' has a hand in actively dissuading me to go forth and conquer, but it's a completely different fear than what a 6 allegedly experiences.

    For example, reading up on the 6 (and also watching videos) reveals that they're constantly 'worried' about things, checking, double-checking, mistrusting things, etc... that isn't me in the slightest! I'm super-chill about such things; I can probably count on one hand the number of times I've 'worried' about something upcoming.

    By and large, my fear comes from things like intrusion. I hate people getting in my space, I hate people checking up on me, I hate people ringing me (even my wife!), I don't necessarily want to go out into an unknown situation because of people and having to interact... inane chitchat makes me want to throw myself under a bus, for the love of shite.

    I'm also acutely aware of my inability to retain the details of information I absorb, and I worry that not being able to regurgitate data on command makes me look really inept. I DO fear that. I don't claim to be intelligent, but if someone makes me feel unintelligent I'm liable to feel incensed. I definitely feel that being an INFJ has its drawbacks in this regard; there are some fantastically intelligent examples of the type, but I am not one - my Fe compels me to jump the gun and my Ti falls into line quite often all too late. Consequently I'm usually very timid and reserved when it comes to discussing intellectual matters - not because I don't know about the subject at hand, but because misquoting something or having to say "Sorry, I'm bad at retaining details!" for the nth time makes me feel like shit and genuinely terrifies me on some level.

    Then again, it could be down to my terrible memory rather than my type having any impact.

    I'm currently on a counselling course, and part of the process is learning to become self-aware. I had no idea how many feels I'd buried away. Long story short, I have quite a few... and uncovering them always starts with me being confused by some heavy / nebulous 'feeling' which, through analysis, eventually takes form.

    I may be somewhat emotionally reactive when I'm pushed (my anger can sometimes be explosive - I guess I have Fe to thank for that) but internally I've always felt devoid of any real emotional content. I actively avoid being bombarded with emotions from the external - I find them awkward, unwanted and largely unnecessary (films, music, that sort of thing). I can speak freely about them in some ways, and I can help people deal with their own, but actually FEELING things myself is bloody hard work. I've also noticed my inclination to sit back, analyse how I 'feel' by connecting the dots in a situation and thinking "Huh, so THAT'S why I feel this way or that... ok, that now makes sense and I guess I'm sort of angry/disgruntled/insulted/whatever", or something to that effect. It's almost as though I have to first notice, then validate anything I '''feel''' before it's ok to feel it.

    Does this make any sense?

    In spite of all of this, I'm hugely empathetic and can really get into someone's shoes when in the role of a counsellor. I can ascertain how another person feels at the drop of a hat, yet for me? Nada! Plus, ethical concerns can be really bothersome for me. My initial reaction is to screw my face up and feel flabbergasted.

    How bloody strange is that?!

  3. #23
    alchemist Legion's Avatar
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    6? :o what a twist

    --

    That's Fe for ya :P suppressing one's own emotions in favour of those of the group

  4. #24
    Senior Member pmj85's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Legion View Post
    suppressing one's own emotions in favour of those of the group
    I'm not sure that's it - emotions are relatively unimportant in my life; I don't favour those of the group any more than my own. I'm very warm towards my daughter and wife, but those aside...

    I dunno. Experience tells me that INFJs are kinda aloof.

    [EDIT] Heh, I'm a 'Member' now.

    How very apt :p

  5. #25
    Senior Member RedAmazoneFriendZone's Avatar
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    I would advise anyone wishing to know his/her type to assist some enneagramm courses.
    Watching videos and taking tests is not enough to be sure. It can be interesting, but those methods are not concrete enough to confirm your
    real fears, false core...etc.

    We have a good school in Paris, you probably can assist to some training courses in your country.
    You only need to work on your type within a group for some few week-ends. Not only ONCE !

    I have been mistaken many times because of my strong wing. Trainers can also make mistakes !
    The results can only give you a rather vague idea of your personality.
    Probably SEVERAL trainers & SEVERAL tests are needed not to just be "some hot air merchant".
    ALL THAT WE SEE OR SEEM TO BE IS BUT A DREAM WITHIN A DREAM
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  6. #26
    Senior Member pmj85's Avatar
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    To be honest, I'm starting to think that the enneagram is an incredibly vague and somewhat lacking personality instrument. Apologies if that offends or is incorrect, but I much prefer working with the cognitive functions. I know they're separate layers of a person's being, but meh.

    Maybe I'm just not ready to deal with my core yet

  7. #27
    Senior Member RedAmazoneFriendZone's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pmj85 View Post
    To be honest, I'm starting to think that the enneagram is an incredibly vague and somewhat lacking personality instrument. Apologies if that offends or is incorrect, but I much prefer working with the cognitive functions. I know they're separate layers of a person's being, but meh.

    Maybe I'm just not ready to deal with my core yet

    I prefer dealing with functions now too that I discover MBTI more and more every day !

    No apologies ! We are free to choose the way and the tools that help us to evolve, and to focus on what is/seems important to us !
    ALL THAT WE SEE OR SEEM TO BE IS BUT A DREAM WITHIN A DREAM
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  8. #28
    Senior Member RedAmazoneFriendZone's Avatar
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    The discovery of the false core is a shock (for our egos) and must be done in a secure place, when psychologically mature enough and ready to learn our most serious fears.

    So better do it when one feels healthy enough to accept it and (later/possibly) work on it.
    ALL THAT WE SEE OR SEEM TO BE IS BUT A DREAM WITHIN A DREAM
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  9. #29
    Senior Member Sanjuro's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pmj85 View Post
    I'm currently in conversation with a member of another forum who has done quite a lot of study into the enneagram; she maintains (and has for a good while now) that I'm a type six. I've remained open-minded to the possibility, but try as I might I just can't make it fit. I acknowledge that sometimes 'fear' has a hand in actively dissuading me to go forth and conquer, but it's a completely different fear than what a 6 allegedly experiences.
    Hi pmj. This forum wouldn't be PersonalityCafe, would it?

    For example, reading up on the 6 (and also watching videos) reveals that they're constantly 'worried' about things, checking, double-checking, mistrusting things, etc... that isn't me in the slightest! I'm super-chill about such things; I can probably count on one hand the number of times I've 'worried' about something upcoming.
    6 fears are more about imagining "the worst that can possibly happen" and becoming convinced that this is the most likely outcome. This, of course, lends itself to being "worried", but don't rule out 6 just because you don't exhibit OCD-style behaviors.

    Just a couple of questions, you said type 9 gave you some sort of inner reaction, like Nooooo....that's not me.... If you feel the outlook on life contradicts who you are at core, then it's not your type. Behaviors count less on these grounds.

    I'm actually wondering about your thoughts on 1w9?
    *Need enneagram questionnaire?
    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...ml#post2218641
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  10. #30
    Senior Member pmj85's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sanjuro View Post
    Hi pmj. This forum wouldn't be PersonalityCafe, would it?
    It would! I'm slowly distancing myself from the place because being reprimanded for helping someone by way of truth is now a thing.


    6 fears are more about imagining "the worst that can possibly happen" and becoming convinced that this is the most likely outcome. This, of course, lends itself to being "worried", but don't rule out 6 just because you don't exhibit OCD-style behaviors.
    Yeah, see... that isn't even remotely me. I may be wary of such things when I'm driving at silly speeds down country roads (I 'see' ahead) - gogo inferior Se - but those rare instances aside I'm completely chill about everything. Very little ever bothers me; this can be a point of contention for other people, who sometimes give me shit because I'm not worried about something which I apparently should be.

    Just a couple of questions, you said type 9 gave you some sort of inner reaction, like Nooooo....that's not me.... If you feel the outlook on life contradicts who you are at core, then it's not your type. Behaviors count less on these grounds.

    I'm actually wondering about your thoughts on 1w9?
    A type 1?

    Again, I have to go back to the whole 'not giving a shit' thing. I'm typically a very relaxed person - the only things that tend to rile me are obligation to others and not getting enough 'me' time. I live with a massive extrovert (and my 7 month old daughter is bloody loud, too!) and sometimes I feel an intense need to get away from it all... but this lands us straight back in the lap of inferior Se / too much stimulation in the external.

    Hmm.

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