Not that I want to be able to, but it's kind of weird feeling like I'm not really holding the reins on myself -- my father is a self-preservation type 1 INTJ and he can make himself do anything -- delaying anything for him is possible and he is highly regimented and self-controlled. If he set himself to not do something, he won't do it.

Clown-ass me on the other hand -- I can't bring myself to do or not do anything -- I just go with whatever impulse comes up. Any time that I try to impose something on myself it's like some other asshole part of myself purposefully does the opposite just to rebel. I basically have to not try to do anything or else I will end up doing the opposite -- which is why I've learned to just follow my feeling of the moment.

Can this sort of thing be attributed to something enneagram or myers briggs related? I read that a type 1 is really good at delaying self-gratification and disciplining oneself which rings very true for my father and his ways.