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[Traditional Enneagram] holy shiz i really am a 9 :/

Lady_X

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I don't have it, but I do remember you coming across very Sx/Sp-ish (even though I think you're Sx/So)

like because i seem reserved or withdrawn sort of right?
 

Qlip

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like get up and clean my house when I'm mad?

Yes. That was my ex's first response to an argument, even if it was at 11 at night.
 

Elfboy

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like because i seem reserved or withdrawn sort of right?

more like
- lonely
- edgy
- push/pull
- frustrated (nothing you said was overtly frustrated. in fact, I don't think you complained at all, but your energy came off like you had some sort of intense urge not being satisfied)
- mysterious

but yes, also withdrawn. you were a lot less bubbly than I was expecting
 

Lady_X

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Yes. That was my ex's first response to an argument, even if it was at 11 at night.

shit...Yeah I've always done things like that...for at least a bit. It's like i have to realize first if i have a right to be as upset as i am...Is it justified..And exactly why etc first...but then i deal with it...usually...i think...I'm just beginning to try and see this stuff with new eyes so I'm still figuring out how much i actually avoid vs confront.
 

Lady_X

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more like
- lonely
- edgy
- push/pull
- frustrated (nothing you said was overtly frustrated. in fact, I don't think you complained at all, but your energy came off like you had some sort of intense urge not being satisfied)
- mysterious

but yes, also withdrawn. you were a lot less bubbly than I was expecting

i wish i could tell how much of that was normal and how much was the discomfort of speaking to a camera by myself.

i have no idea...
 

highlander

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I can definitely see you as a 9. You're so calm for an ENFP.
 

Starry

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No this is serious business starry!! i need to know!! i mean i knew i was a 7...i had my moments...like two or three times where i was like but wait...I'm no robin Williams and wth am i so freakin mellow if I'm an e and a 7?!

but have you read type 7 in that book? And how much do you relate to it?

have you ever seen the video i posted here? I'm like way mellow right?? my vibe seems way more 9 i think

plus...im often far away...disassociated

don't ya think it's possible I'm just 972


yeah no, I still think you are a 7.

I've made an agreement with myself though not to build type-related cases for people unless I feel the individual needs to know - you know? Members here are overfocused on behavior imo when it comes to enneagram theory which I see as highly misguided and it becomes exhausting trying to be heard amongst all the "I'm not aggressive enough to be an 8" and "you're nothing like Robbin Williams."

Does [MENTION=8936]highlander[/MENTION] seem like a 6w5 sx to you? <-Remember that is going to be a counterphobic placement which when considering behavior on its own I think the answer for most people here is going to be a resounding "No." highlander does not behave like a Zarathustra at all does he? highlander behaves a lot like a 9. Why is that? Is it because he is a 9 or is it because he is older and has integrated to 9? According to what I've witnessed here...going off the behavior model that most members here make use of... highlander is mistyped.

Everything you've said in this thread I would attribute to a healthy connection to e5.
 

Riva

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I thought i was a 9. Shared it on ventrilo. Senza tema proved me wrong in less than 2 minutes. I still secretly sometimes think i am a 9 though.

However lx if not for your utmost confidence in your self typing i would still type you as a 7w6. 7w6-8w?-2w? Tritype.

A few months back i think you were questioning your gut center and wondering whether you were a 8 instead of 9. I thought 8.

Edit - people have implied you are calm in this thread. I always felt you were energetic, atleast more so than i am.
 

Chad of the OttomanEmpire

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I'm 972 i guess but i read an enneagram book last night and reading the 7 i was like...No...this must have been written for extroverted sensors and then some bits i was like yeah maybe in a super watered down way but deff no...not that hyper..i don't just keep running and running from painful feelings...i don't feel deprived....I'm not often bored because I'm often lost in thought...i don't so much run from adventure to adventure as i do...ideas,thoughts and dreams...And then i like to put them into action..but i do feel them and experience while in them
That wasn't Riso and Hudson's stuff by any chance, was it? Just because I've heard the same thing from other core 7s who've read their work, as well as 7-fixers and even 7-wingers. "I couldn't possibly be THAT obnoxious type..." "I'm not Robin Williams here, OK?"

I don't officially "type" people online anymore (especially by "vibe") but I kind of have to agree with [MENTION=10082]Starry[/MENTION] on this one. I think you could still be a 7, especially since you're raising points many 7s and 7-influenced people have raised in the past. It is a head type, imaginative and fascinated, not a monkey.

Still, I'd be interested in knowing why you typed as 7 to begin with.
 

Chad of the OttomanEmpire

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Once I let go of the latter to a strong degree the facades fell away largely.

I never was an introvert either (people laugh at the suggestion in IRL), I was just chronically depressed (really bipolar II) and mental disorders color personality a lot.
Not to totally derail here, but I recently had this experience myself.

It's funny. It's like as soon as I got away from the home and who I had to be to get by in suburban America, the elaborate defenses I constructed disintegrated. I'm glad they did. But it's been odd to realize that actually I'm NOT some depressive, overly-withdrawn loser and that my entire first quarter of a century is NOT what I'm really like. It's been a journey.

PS, anyone IRL would laugh to hear I wasn't introverted, too (and did).
 

highlander

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yeah no, I still think you are a 7.

I've made an agreement with myself though not to build type-related cases for people unless I feel the individual needs to know - you know? Members here are overfocused on behavior imo when it comes to enneagram theory which I see as highly misguided and it becomes exhausting trying to be heard amongst all the "I'm not aggressive enough to be an 8" and "you're nothing like Robbin Williams."

Does [MENTION=8936]highlander[/MENTION] seem like a 6w5 sx to you? <-Remember that is going to be a counterphobic placement which when considering behavior on its own I think the answer for most people here is going to be a resounding "No." highlander does not behave like a Zarathustra at all does he? highlander behaves a lot like a 9. Why is that? Is it because he is a 9 or is it because he is older and has integrated to 9? According to what I've witnessed here...going off the behavior model that most members here make use of... highlander is mistyped.

Everything you've said in this thread I would attribute to a healthy connection to e5.

Maybe these would be helpful

http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/vbtube_show.php?tubeid=92

http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/vbtube_show.php?tubeid=98

http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/vbtube_show.php?tubeid=145

http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/vbtube_show.php?tubeid=147
 

uumlau

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Yeah but I've avoided type 9 for forever because i don't feel conflict avoident and i feel like i have pretty defined sense of self...i don't feel like i have any doormat tendencies
Well, yeah. 9s don't feel like they're doormats at all. It was worse in my case, as I'm an INTJ, and I very much go my own way ... EXCEPT when I care about someone ... THEN I don't want to confront that turmoil of emotions.
ughh...boyfriend issues yet again...his type 4 shit is a lot. so i was reading about it and holy shit it was accurate. completely inconsistent emotionally. ughh
Been there. Done that. :hug:

Interestingly, in the stats you can google on 9 relationships, one not-very-scientific study (lots of potential selection effects) observed that 9s were married to 8s most often, and the next most often were the type 4s. I would imagine the 9/4 dynamic is that 9 can actually put up with the 4's drama better than most. But yes. Ugh.

so i read 9...and really all was able to see how it was a closer fit....i relate to aspects of both but if i am a 7 i'd be like on health level one and have always been pretty healthy...but when reading 9 i could see that i'm often very healthy but could also relate to the lower levels of health...or realize how things could end up that way if i weren't careful. which to me makes more sense that one should be able to relate to all of it....
Yes, the health levels are the key. Being a "very healthy" version of any type should be rare.

and....i do feel very happy most times...but it is more sort of serene then elated.
Exactly. :yes:

i do feel like i merge with people...a lot.. i felt that was just sxness..
i don't get bored with people any more than i get bored with myself...because people become parts of me...
I think that's more sx-ness or even Ne-Fi-ness. I'm sp/so and don't feel like that at all.

i don't feel like i bend to people but maybe i do?? if i really look at it...maybe i really fucking do??
Yep. :yes:

That was part of why I didn't initially identify with 9. The other thing to keep in mind that while people with particular personality traits tend to have the type 9 hope/fear patterns more often than those with other personality traits, having trait A or trait B does not indicate one's type reliably. You have to look at the hope/fear patterns to have a firm conclusion of type, just as I believe that you have to have a good understanding of "how you think" in order to know your MBTI with a high degree of certainty.

I think this is why so many people CAN bend to people and really don't mind doing so, as they don't realize they're doing it.

I also think this is perhaps because we (quite ironically) bend to people in order to MAINTAIN CONTROL. We aren't saying, "Yeah, I don't care about my desires," but rather we are chasing a particular desire: the desire to have that calm feeling of peace within ourselves. Anger feels out of control, peace feels in control. We feel like we're not sweating the small stuff. When someone appears to be deliberately provoking us, we feel like, "Ah ha! You thought you could make me angry, but you failed. Nyeah nyeah!"

The problem isn't this peace-seeking attitude overall - it's the anger-ignoring attitude. The anger doesn't get dealt with. To use a chess analogy, we feel like we're simply protecting the king when we sidestep issues. But we aren't AWARE - sometimes we're protecting the queen, not the king, because the queen is so important, too. The queen represents our anger. If we protect ourselves from our anger, that means we aren't USING our anger in a productive way. Like with protecting the queen, once we realize we really need to be angry, it's far too late, and it's about 3 moves to checkmate. 9s need to learn to show anger productively sooner, and not automatically default to the peaceful attitude.

like get up and clean my house when I'm mad?
uh huh :yes:

I don't clean house, but yeah, I don't confront while I'm FEELING angry at all. When forum stuff makes me angry, I just set it aside until I'm not angry. That's why most of my posts seem so calm and measured, and people are surprised if I apply any harshness at all.

My personal weakness as a 9 isn't so much things like the forum, or work, or anywhere I've developed a lot of strengths which give me the confidence to be forceful when I need to be. But if I lack confidence, e.g., in a relationship, I'm much more likely to back off when I should probably confront.
 

Totenkindly

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Kinda confused about the thread's direction: From the outside, it looks like she was just posting to share her self-insights, and it's become a pseudo "Please please tell me I'm wrong about my type" thread. I think we have a subforum for the latter?
 

EJCC

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uh huh :yes:

I don't clean house, but yeah, I don't confront while I'm FEELING angry at all. When forum stuff makes me angry, I just set it aside until I'm not angry. That's why most of my posts seem so calm and measured, and people are surprised if I apply any harshness at all.

My personal weakness as a 9 isn't so much things like the forum, or work, or anywhere I've developed a lot of strengths which give me the confidence to be forceful when I need to be. But if I lack confidence, e.g., in a relationship, I'm much more likely to back off when I should probably confront.
One thing that can confuse me about 9s is that sometimes they come across as much angrier than I'd expect. Like an 8 or cf 6. Makes me wonder if there's some sort of phobic/counterphobic split with type 9.
 

Totenkindly

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Well, each e type is usually based on a large underyling motivation/need in the psyche, right? But there are many variations on how that need might manifest and/or be played out, and what types of talents and skills a particular person might have, and how they grew up / environmental factors, and the instinctual variants, etc.

9's disintegrate towards 6, interestingly.
 

uumlau

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One thing that can confuse me about 9s is that sometimes they come across as much angrier than I'd expect. Like an 8 or cf 6. Makes me wonder if there's some sort of phobic/counterphobic split with type 9.

Sorta kinda.

Dryden said:
Must I at length the Sword of Justice draw?
Oh curst Effects of necessary Law!
How ill my Fear they by my Mercy scan,
Beware the Fury of a Patient Man.

Because the anger is untended, it can come out VERY explosively, if the 9's guard is down.

So true: "How ill my Fear they by my Mercy scan" :yes:
 

Lady_X

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Kinda confused about the thread's direction: From the outside, it looks like she was just posting to share her self-insights, and it's become a pseudo "Please please tell me I'm wrong about my type" thread. I think we have a subforum for the latter?

Thanks mamma bear :)

but no really it's good. I'm appreciating the feedback.

Can't respond to everything yet as I'm in the car just waiting on something for a sec but I'll be back!
 

Totenkindly

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Thanks mamma bear :)

but no really it's good. I'm appreciating the feedback.

Can't respond to everything yet as I'm in the car just waiting on something for a sec but I'll be back!

cool beans, just checking -- enjoy! :)
 
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