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  1. #21
    Senior Member Sanjuro's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Azure Flame View Post
    So I'll ask you again since you haven't answered my question,

    Are you an 8?
    You may think of me however you wish. I talk about my issues and let boardies come to their own judgements. I leave it in your good hands.

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by ginniebean View Post
    I always get the impression that 8's can't self soothe by themselves or perhaps that's something that comes later in life. With no means of self soothing that may trigger a fear of dependency which can only be met in an intimate relationship. I'm surrounded by 8's in my immediate family and among my friends and I find that when they are raging in their hell there's nothing that can soothe them or diminish whatever internal pain they're experiencing. In my experience after the rage comes a sulky period where if you are careful there are entry points for caring and affection to penetrate which is what the 8 seems to want and need.
    Soothe is an amazing word.

    I just spoke to this clerk at the hotel I'm staying at for work. idunno what her type is but she's a christian and she can see my woundedness. I didn't even know it was there until she made it disappear. Amazing.

    I wish I knew how to apply the lotion myself but it takes a couple things. The #1 solution is simply someone who understands why I'm in the pain I'm in. Hugs and people telling me they're gonna work on themselves, doesn't really seem to do much good.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sanjuro View Post
    You may think of me however you wish. I talk about my issues and let boardies come to their own judgements. I leave it in your good hands.
    what a crock of bullshit. You're gonna come in here and tell me you know the 8 hell better than me, then argue with what I say, then insinuate that I'm a crazy person, and now you're not even going to own up and say you're an 8? You're reported for trolling. you know damn well what my buttons are. And this "I like you" bullshit isn't gonna put you in my favor, your attempt at manipulating my disposition has failed. ugh, irritating.

  3. #23
    Senior Member Sanjuro's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Azure Flame View Post

    what a crock of bullshit. You're gonna come in here and tell me you know the 8 hell better than me, then argue with what I say, then insinuate that I'm a crazy person, and now you're not even going to say you're an 8? You're reported for trolling.
    That's too bad DJ.

    You seem to be am independent thinker who knows the systems well. I would have thought you'd easily figure me out.

    I Will say, with all due respect to you, I've been immensely enjoying our argument. You make me smile. But I do find it odd that, as an 8, you don't seem to be enjoying this nearly as much as I am.

    And no, I was sincere about liking you. I write things at face value.

    Well, my battery is failing on me, so ttyl.

  4. #24
    Member ginniebean's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Azure Flame View Post
    Soothe is an amazing word.

    I just spoke to this clerk at the hotel I'm staying at for work. idunno what her type is but she's a christian and she can see my woundedness. I didn't even know it was there until she made it disappear. Amazing.

    I wish I knew how to apply the lotion myself but it takes a couple things. The #1 solution is simply someone who understands why I'm in the pain I'm in. Hugs and people telling me they're gonna work on themselves, doesn't really seem to do much good.
    There are a few things that seem to help. Yeah, to see beneath that armour to that fragile wound, acceptance during and after a rage, (I suspect 8's have an expectation of abandonment--"the rats flee the ship") a willingness to get a bit scratched up shows an unexpected strength, and an ability to let go of any personal feelings over some of the over the top rants that happen. I enjoy 8's because I know they'll tell me like it is and if it's something I'm doing they'll call me on my bullshit. If not approached over emotionally they have an uncanny ability to assist someone see their own blindspots. Once you're over all this hump, hugs can be truly wonderful!


    Oh, one other thing, it's actually very satisfying for 8's to have that ability to point out blindspots appreciated. And you have to verbally let them know it's appreciated because anything subtle just doesn't cut it.


    what a crock of bullshit.
    My dad used to say this all the time and it made me smile. It is a favourite word for most 8's I know, except my sister but she doesn't use swear words.

  5. #25
    Junior Member Aha's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Azure Flame View Post
    Interesting. I don't get it.

    ENTP 8 sx/so huh? Haven't met one of those yet. Do you per chance identify with Bryan El's music? I suspect he is an ENTP 8 sx/so, his music very much exemplifies a sort of "search for innocence," as if he's searching the galaxy or something. Could just be another estp though, dunno. This video is almost exactly how it feels trying to find a spec of emotion within my cold nebulous soul sometimes. A couple hours of meditation to yield 5 minutes of color. BLAH!

    Haha. Lyrics of the track (Zoetrope) are very close to my thoughts during stressed periods. And the music is beautiful.

    I do not identify with Bryan El's music. I will look for more of it later. As I listen to the track right now, I find it not-bad. Although I prefer more intense and disturbing (for most people; for me its just relaxing) music.

    As for emotions - I have too many of them. I find the music (here in spoilers) to resonate with my emotions. And yes, listening to this is the only way I can enter a meditation state.



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    Quote Originally Posted by ginniebean View Post
    I always get the impression that 8's can't self soothe by themselves or perhaps that's something that comes later in life. With no means of self soothing that may trigger a fear of dependency which can only be met in an intimate relationship. I'm surrounded by 8's in my immediate family and among my friends and I find that when they are raging in their hell there's nothing that can soothe them or diminish whatever internal pain they're experiencing. In my experience after the rage comes a sulky period where if you are careful there are entry points for caring and affection to penetrate which is what the 8 seems to want and need.
    Yeah, you can't just throw an issue in a bin on a whim. Even worse if someone tries to sooth you - this way there is no back off



    Quote Originally Posted by ginniebean View Post
    except my sister but she doesn't use swear words.
    I don't use them too. Or try to. You only look silly and dumber with swear words.

    p.s. There are much better ways of offending in which swear words are inhibition.
    2 p.s. bullshit isn't a swear word
    ILE- 8w7 7w8 4w3 sx/so

  6. #26
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ginniebean View Post
    I always get the impression that 8's can't self soothe by themselves or perhaps that's something that comes later in life.
    Or perhaps not at all. I need external factors to soothe my emotions and anger--I don't quite control it on my own. I can control how I display it--and when--about 95% of the time now. A vast improvement from younger years. 3 years shy of 30, I still need to do physical activity on a regular basis for *spiritual* health, not just physical health, to keep my emotions in check.. and I usually deal with anger and emotions by venting them until I am physically exhausted, or bottling them up and letting the steam off little by little, until I calm down and can accept those external influences.

    It's definitely time based, the latter option that I tend to use for less extreme anger. You can apologize, be supportive, talk it out all you want--and I appreciate it--but until that steam all releases from the jar you'll have a hot kettle. After I cool off, I'll generally feel pretty bad about being so mad in the first place, and not being very rational and logical to the people around me, and I'll look for ways I could have fixed it and why it was at least partly my responsibility so that I regain some emotional control. During those times is when it is best to talk to me.. but leaving me alone without request isn't necessarily better for me either.

    With no means of self soothing that may trigger a fear of dependency which can only be met in an intimate relationship. I'm surrounded by 8's in my immediate family and among my friends and I find that when they are raging in their hell there's nothing that can soothe them or diminish whatever internal pain they're experiencing. In my experience after the rage comes a sulky period where if you are careful there are entry points for caring and affection to penetrate which is what the 8 seems to want and need.
    I'm not positive about the intimate part--unless you include platonic and more mean close--but definitely yes. It heavily influences my extroversion. I'm just like a big beast.. I go throw a tantrum, and when I'm exhausted and just cannot be on the guard afterwards, and it lets all the zoo keepers come in and be nice. Eventually I'll get used to those keepers.. and eventually I'll learn to depend on them.

    One of the biggest blows to my life in recent years was the fall of my best friend. She WAS my best friend--and although we're still close, she no longer is.. she had no desire to fulfill that role anymore. She wasn't quite honest with me until I approached her about it, and then it was all on the table.. and while I saw it coming, I felt really lost on who my secrets and conversations go to now. I don't quite have all the pieces picked up.. and that really sucks, because my venting is all messed up and I get irritated at everything so much easier not knowing where I'll go.

    I currently have someone I've nominated my 'new' best friend, and I'm lucky he's so supportive of me, and having a fairly stable relationship right now is helping a ton.. I can feel my temper and inflexibility staving off, and it's allowing my more bubbly and energetic temperament to shine through more frequently with each week.

    The problem I come across with being 100% with an SO is that it wears and tears on them--and I know it does. On top of that.. no one wants to be that ugly to an SO. Or, sometimes the SO is the root of the anger! And while it's very important to talk it over, you don't really desire to go through the venting and saying stupid things phase with them either. There has to be someone else there to vent to.. there's gotta be another go-to guy or gal. I think men make this mistake a lot.. because many times they have male best friends and they lack an emotional connection that is required to vent properly. Stereotypically speaking, men are notorious for putting all of their emotional needs onto the female, while the female spreads out her emotional needs into categories and circles.
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  7. #27
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    And while it's very important to talk it over, you don't really desire to go through the venting and saying stupid things phase with them either.
    Oh this is so true. I can actually feel any energy I have left ebb away when we get to that step.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

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