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[Traditional Enneagram] Enneagram 8: Why can't I ask you guys questions?

The Great One

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Every enneagram 8 that I have ever known absolutely hates me to ask them questions. They like to get straight and to the point with things, and they want you to get something as fast as possible. Another thing is that if you don't just get something right off the bat, and need to ask more questions to clarify, then they look at you like you are some kind of idiot or something. Oh, and God forbid you need them to repeat themselves, then they really hate you. Has anyone else experienced this with type 8's.
[MENTION=5684]Elfboy[/MENTION]

You might like this thread.
 

Hive

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How big is your sample group?
 

Elfboy

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Every enneagram 8 that I have ever known absolutely hates me to ask them questions. They like to get straight and to the point with things, and they want you to get something as fast as possible. Another thing is that if you don't just get something right off the bat, and need to ask more questions to clarify, then they look at you like you are some kind of idiot or something. Oh, and God forbid you need them to repeat themselves, then they really hate you. Has anyone else experienced this with type 8's.
[MENTION=5684]Elfboy[/MENTION]
You might like this thread.

this is ISTP 8w9s, not all 8s. my INTJ 8w7 friend isn't like this at all

that said, you have a point. that look 8s give that says "what are you stupid? you should know this!" really pisses me off
 

The Great One

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this is ISTP 8w9s, not all 8s. my INTJ 8w7 friend isn't like this at all

that said, you have a point. that look 8s give that says "what are you stupid? you should know this!" really pisses me off

Maybe it's because your friend has developed some Fi. However, I have noticed that both the ENTJ 8's and the ISTP 8's do this. And yes, I know the look that you are talking about when you say that they give you a look that says, "What are you stupid"? I want to punch them in the fucking mouth when they give me that look.
 

Chad of the OttomanEmpire

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Maybe it's because your friend has developed some Fi. However, I have noticed that both the ENTJ 8's and the ISTP 8's do this. And yes, I know the look that you are talking about when you say that they give you a look that says, "What are you stupid"? I want to punch them in the fucking mouth when they give me that look.
Maybe you should just punch them in the fucking mouth and yell, "I'M NOT STUPID!!"

But again, how many 8s we talking about?
 

Elfboy

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Maybe it's because your friend has developed some Fi. However, I have noticed that both the ENTJ 8's and the ISTP 8's do this.
I think it's for a few reasons
- he's Sensing last and sucks at most physical tasks more than I do
- if doesn't get the concept behind something, he can't even do it, so he's a lot more sympathetic when other people can't do something
- he's 8w7 (with a very strong wing), so he's more conversational than most 8s

And yes, I know the look that you are talking about when you say that they give you a look that says, "What are you stupid"? I want to punch them in the fucking mouth when they give me that look.
I know the feeling, like "get the fuck out ma face bitch :ng_mad:!"
(^I wish there was was an anger emoticon was less like a neurotic cp6 women lol)
[MENTION=18576]Sanjuro[/MENTION]
I think his comment mostly applies to ST 8s (which, admittedly, is most of them)
 

kyuuei

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It really depends on the subject matter. In general I have little patience, and if the tone is at all interrogating then I shut down. And there are many subjects that are so subjective with so little room for compromise, that I'm not at all interested with starting a shit storm over nothing when I or the other has strong personal opinions on the subject.

If you're asking me why I do this or that out of curiosity, that's one thing. If I get the sense you're asking those questions to guide an idea of yours into a specific direction, it's a totally different tone despite the questions being the same.

And I do try to avoid looking at people like they're stupid. But it's really hard sometimes.
 

The Great One

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Maybe you should just punch them in the fucking mouth and yell, "I'M NOT STUPID!!"

But again, how many 8s we talking about?

lol, yeah I really wish I could punch those mother fuckers, but I can't.
[MENTION=5684]Elfboy[/MENTION]

I think it's for a few reasons:

- he's Sensing last and sucks at most physical tasks more than I do
- if doesn't get the concept behind something, he can't even do it, so he's a lot more sympathetic when other people can't do something
- he's 8w7 (with a very strong wing), so he's more conversational than most 8s

Yeah well whatever it is, at least he is sympathetic about it.


I know the feeling, like "get the fuck out ma face bitch :ng_mad:!"
(^I wish there was was an anger emoticon was less like a neurotic cp6 women lol)
[MENTION=18576]Sanjuro[/MENTION]
I think his comment mostly applies to ST 8s (which, admittedly, is most of them)

Yeah ST 8's are probably the most like this.

It really depends on the subject matter. In general I have little patience, and if the tone is at all interrogating then I shut down. And there are many subjects that are so subjective with so little room for compromise, that I'm not at all interested with starting a shit storm over nothing when I or the other has strong personal opinions on the subject.

If you're asking me why I do this or that out of curiosity, that's one thing. If I get the sense you're asking those questions to guide an idea of yours into a specific direction, it's a totally different tone despite the questions being the same.

And I do try to avoid looking at people like they're stupid. But it's really hard sometimes.

So in other words, as long as they are not prying into you and trying to get into your head, questions are okay?
 

The Great One

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Or it's none of your business?

See I think that this is the impression that 8's get from me: That I am trying to get into their heads, scan for their weaknesses, or pry into their business. However, this is not the case. What I am attempting to do by asking these questions is to just shoot the shit with them, try to be friendly with them, and try to understand who they are. I don't understand why 8's view this as such a threat.

8s don't really suffer fools.

Bad luck for you, Great One.

Well many times I ask questions in order to just understand how to thoroughly perform a task, or in order to completely grasp a subject. As a core 6, I constantly think that I am going to fuck things up, and I ask questions in order to avoid messing things up. After all, the more you know about how to do a task , the less chance you have of making an error. However, I guess 8's think that this is showing a sign of weakness by questioning yourself and your abilities in the first place. Also, I guess 8's are so gut center that they don't understand why I think about how to do something so much, and why I am not actually doing it.
 

á´…eparted

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People like you have described aren't worth my time. I write them off and ignore their existence when I am able to. If someone is going to be an egotistical jerk, then deserve no kindness from me.
 

rav3n

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See I think that this is the impression that 8's get from me: That I am trying to get into their heads, scan for their weaknesses, or pry into their business. However, this is not the case. What I am attempting to do by asking these questions is to just shoot the shit with them, try to be friendly with them, and try to understand who they are. I don't understand why 8's view this as such a threat.
Notice how you interpreted my response? As if 8s are threatened? Is it in the least bit possible that it's not because of threat but because it's really none of your business?
 

Elfboy

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It really depends on the subject matter. In general I have little patience, and if the tone is at all interrogating then I shut down. And there are many subjects that are so subjective with so little room for compromise, that I'm not at all interested with starting a shit storm over nothing when I or the other has strong personal opinions on the subject.
If you're asking me why I do this or that out of curiosity, that's one thing. If I get the sense you're asking those questions to guide an idea of yours into a specific direction, it's a totally different tone despite the questions being the same.
And I do try to avoid looking at people like they're stupid. But it's really hard sometimes.
not an 8, but I relate to all this (though I don't so much care about people being stupid as much as peeps being up in my grill). It's easy to tell when someone is trying to push an agenda or condescend, so I shut that shit down real quick (at which point, it's usually very easy and often requires no words at all. the longer you let people get away with bullshit like that, the harder you need to whip them).
[MENTION=10808]andante[/MENTION] [MENTION=15607]The Great One[/MENTION]

LOL that was a classic 8/6 interaction :laugh:
 

buddy2eyes

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I like to answer people and explain my reason to them though, maybe not for every time.
I don't like guiding-mind question, too as what kyuuei has mentioned. It's may seen like good advice or persuasion, though I don't really like them anyway.

I'll let my guard down in group work or serious situation.
But if it comes to my hobbies or my interests, better not step across my mind since I already have my own reason.
 

FDG

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that said, you have a point. that look 8s give that says "what are you stupid? you should know this!" really pisses me off

Yeah, I had an ESTP 8 boss who was like this everytime I asked him to clarify something (and I really had to ask him because he was extremely picky about work being done exactly the way he wanted, and the way he wanted was fairly different from my natural style). Not to mention whenever anyone said something that went "over his head" - comment: "lol he's really stupid he can't even explain his ideas".

I understand it's often a matter of being time-sensitive when there's a lot of stuff to do, but then you're asking the people around you to be mind readers rather than hard workers.
 
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