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  1. #51
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    @kyuuei

    The idea is, if you need the information, then you need it. If you don't, why are you asking at all? If you're needing to ask, then ask and be upfront about it. Give the situation some dignity and respect. It isn't like all of us are immediately going to bite someone heads off. In fact, I've had people frequently tell me I seem really scary, bitchy, cold-hearted... then when they get to know me, all those ideas vanish. It's a delusion people have--but they'll never get over it if they don't make steps to do so. I can't change someone's mind actively, they'll figure out if I'm really all those things or not on their own. Even if it's scary.. It isn't like there isn't anyone that intimidates me in my life either. Yet I get up there and do it. Because it is a sign of respect. I have a lot of trouble talking about my feelings, and it takes a lot to muster up that strength to do so.. but it's okay, and I do it, because I know it's important and there's a degree of health to it.
    Some 8's are better at answering questions then others. For instance, I have one 8w7 sp/sx manager and he seems annoyed when you continually ask him questions, but he will just take a deep breath and answer them for you. I think he has come to realize the fact that he comes off as abrasive to others, and has really tended to curb that tendency. The other 8w9 patrol guy is just a pain in the ass: he will laugh at you and he will look at you like you're a moron for asking him questions. I'm better at asking the 8w7 manager questions, but poor at asking the 8w9 guy. It really depends more on the maturity level of the particular 8 in question for me.

    To be fair, teachers ought to have extensive training about how to properly teach students. I don't really have any problems getting a student to finally learn a subject regardless of how many times and ways I have to explain it.
    Probably because you are an ENFP. They have Fi and tend to be a bit more empathetic than other 8's. God forbid if it's an ENTJ 8, then I just say, "Fuck it" and don't even try anymore. ENTJ's already hate to repeat themselves, if you combine that with core 8, then it's just plain hopeless.

    It's a frustration, sure. But that's something 8s just work on with themselves. Because, really, no one gets EVERYTHING the first go-around in their lives. Frequently, though, I found that many people not getting a task immediately are not getting it because of distractions or a lack of paying attention--they didn't hear it the first time, they were on their phones, they didn't care then, they were daydreaming, and then they ask again because they realized too late important stuff was being said/done. So it is grating when you see that so constantly and frequently, and you're going to sometimes get mad at people who genuinely had real distractions they couldn't help, but it is what it is.
    Yes, I am very guilty of daydreaming and not paying attention. I have ADD from hell, but I've improved over the years.

    I've learned the hard way that this is exactly how I come off. Nearly everyone I knew in the army thought I was a terrible scary person when they first met me.
    I'm glad you've become more self-aware over the years.

  2. #52
    Unapologetic being Evolving Transparency's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    Needless to say I'm not that loved as an employee by most "aggressive" bosses. Tbh in my experience 8s don't really like it anyway if you are very upfront and abrasive, just like them. They'll respect your for that but they'll also try to get rid of you as soon as possible.
    This is also my impression of 8's as bosses. They don't like me speaking my mind, HA. And forget about it when my E4 coworker goes off! It kills our 8 boss that we are as good at our jobs (even though she's never provided us with proper training to be as good as we are.) so she can't just get rid of us. It's awesome lol.

    My current boss is a 2 and while he can be a bit histrionic, he knows how to talk with people as actual human beings - and that's enough for me.
    Yes. So much this. I don't need much. In any relationship frankly. I can endure quite a bit as long as they show respect to me.
    "Once the game is over, the Pawn and the King go back into the same box"

    Freedom isn't free.
    "Freedom is the right to tell people what they do not want to hear." ~ Orwell
    I'm that person that embodies pretty much everything that you hate. Might as well get used to it.
    Unapologetically bonding in an uninhibited, propelled manner
    10w12

  3. #53
    Member Tem's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    Every enneagram 8 that I have ever known absolutely hates me to ask them questions. They like to get straight and to the point with things, and they want you to get something as fast as possible. Another thing is that if you don't just get something right off the bat, and need to ask more questions to clarify, then they look at you like you are some kind of idiot or something. Oh, and God forbid you need them to repeat themselves, then they really hate you. Has anyone else experienced this with type 8's.
    I'm laughing

    With 8s, sometimes you've got to roll with the punches.

  4. #54
    Blood of the Exile Animal's Avatar
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    I don't have as much problem with 8s as some people appear to.

    In fact I only know of three 8s and they adore me to pieces and I adore them to pieces.
    I don't say that confidently about many people.

    Most people, I am not totally sure what they think of me. With 8s I can say with confidence, they adore me. Because they show it. They protect and nurture the friendship. They care.

    Yes they fire back if I ask stupid questions or say off-base things, but this is just honesty. It's not a threat. It's communication. They're a bit quicker to say "no its not like that" than I would be, but I like it. Why waste time? It's inspiring.

    If I'm asking excessive or unnecessary questions, I feel good that someone thinks I'm strong enough and smart enough to figure it out on my own. That shows he/she has confidence in me.

    I don't have the problems with 8s that are being mentioned here. I can agree that a lot of the behavior cited, is 8ish or applies to the 8s I know in various degrees, but it doesn't bother me.

    The 8s I know, don't like things that are fake.
    I'm not fake.
    Thus, we get along.
    Art is the blood of the Exile
    4w3 6w7 8w9 ~ Sx/Sp ~ ISTP ~ LSI-Se

  5. #55
    Member Tem's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Animal View Post
    I don't have as much problem with 8s as some people appear to.

    In fact I only know of three 8s and they adore me to pieces and I adore them to pieces.
    I don't say that confidently about many people.

    Most people, I am not totally sure what they think of me. With 8s I can say with confidence, they adore me. Because they show it. They protect and nurture the friendship. They care.

    Yes they fire back if I ask stupid questions or say off-base things, but this is just honesty. It's not a threat. It's communication. They're a bit quicker to say "no its not like that" than I would be, but I like it. Why waste time? It's inspiring.

    If I'm asking excessive or unnecessary questions, I feel good that someone thinks I'm strong enough and smart enough to figure it out on my own. That shows he/she has confidence in me.

    I don't have the problems with 8s that are being mentioned here. I can agree that a lot of the behavior cited, is 8ish or applies to the 8s I know in various degrees, but it doesn't bother me.

    The 8s I know, don't like things that are fake.
    I'm not fake.
    Thus, we get along.
    You are lying, I call you out on your ballogna-filled hoax.

  6. #56
    Blood of the Exile Animal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tem View Post
    You are lying, I call you out on your ballogna-filled hoax.
    Why would I lie about that? What could I possibly gain from inventing that post?
    And why would you care if I was lying, anyhow?

    "INTJ 8w9" (questionable combination), with some smug avatar and a try-hard pose,
    "calling someone out" on lying on an internet forum for a completely innocuous post (why?), using dramatic terms like "bolagna-filled hoax" lmao.

    Why do I even respond..
    *facepalm*
    Art is the blood of the Exile
    4w3 6w7 8w9 ~ Sx/Sp ~ ISTP ~ LSI-Se

  7. #57
    Member Tem's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Animal View Post
    Why would I lie about that? What could I possibly gain from inventing that post?
    And why would you care if I was lying, anyhow?

    "INTJ 8w9" (questionable combination), with some smug avatar and a try-hard pose,
    "calling someone out" on lying on an internet forum for a completely innocuous post (why?), using dramatic terms like "bolagna-filled hoax" lmao.

    Why do I even respond..
    *facepalm*
    Hey hey now, lol, I was just poking fun at you, no need to get feisty :p I know you are genuine no need to get offended.

    Surprising to hear I come off try hard, but that avatar is the real me And Tem is short for Temur which is my real name Nothing phony here, you are welcome to FB friend me if you'd like.

    There are no questionable combinations, as everyone is different

  8. #58
    I could do things Hard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    This is why I have hated every ennegram 8 professor that I have ever known.
    You know, now that I reflect on it, I don't think I have ever had an 8 professor.

    The nastiest professor I've ever had is actually a 1. He tried to cause me trouble yesterday, but it didn't work .
    MBTI: ExxJ tetramer
    Functions: Fe > Te > Ni > Se > Si > Ti > Fi > Ne
    Enneagram: 1w2 - 3w4 - 6w5 (The Taskmaster) | sp/so
    Socionics: β-E dimer | -
    Big 5: slOaI
    Temperament: Choleric/Melancholic
    Alignment: Lawful Neutral
    External Perception: Nohari and Johari


  9. #59
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    It's not just me who thinks this. 8's tend to have a way of carrying themselves where they just exert aggressive energy and people perceive it that way. 8's often don't understand just how aggressive that they come off to others. There may be no intended aggression on the 8's part, but that's how it comes off to other people.
    Clearly, reality is irrelevant and presumptions rule. Hm. Not certain why 8s would have a problem with you...

  10. #60
    Member Tem's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by andante View Post
    Clearly, reality is irrelevant and presumptions rule. Hm. Not certain why 8s would have a problem with you...
    No, what he said is right. 8s may not be exuding this 100% of the time but he is right.

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