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  1. #21
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by andante View Post
    Notice how you interpreted my response? As if 8s are threatened? Is it in the least bit possible that it's not because of threat but because it's really none of your business?
    You have a point. I just assumed it was because you felt threatened. I thought that this was the nature of the beast.

    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    not an 8, but I relate to all this (though I don't so much care about people being stupid as much as peeps being up in my grill). It's easy to tell when someone is trying to push an agenda or condescend, so I shut that shit down real quick (at which point, it's usually very easy and often requires no words at all. the longer you let people get away with bullshit like that, the harder you need to whip them).
    andante and The Great One

    LOL that was a classic 8/6 interaction
    1) LOL yes that basically personified 6/8 interaction to a T.

    2) Another point that I would like to make is that many times in doing a task or trying to understand something, when I am asking my boatload of questions, it angers the 8's. So what I will do is just not ask questions in order to avoid confrontation. Then, once it's actually time to do the task, I won't know how to do it, and the 8 will look at me like I'm an incompetent dipshit. You are damned if you do, and damned if you don't.

  2. #22
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    Yeah, I had an ESTP 8 boss who was like this everytime I asked him to clarify something (and I really had to ask him because he was extremely picky about work being done exactly the way he wanted, and the way he wanted was fairly different from my natural style). Not to mention whenever anyone said something that went "over his head" - comment: "lol he's really stupid he can't even explain his ideas".

    I understand it's often a matter of being time-sensitive when there's a lot of stuff to do, but then you're asking the people around you to be mind readers rather than hard workers.
    Yes, yes, that's it. I feel like 8's want you to be some type of mind reader and it angers me to no end.

  3. #23
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    See I think that this is the impression that 8's get from me: That I am trying to get into their heads, scan for their weaknesses, or pry into their business. However, this is not the case. What I am attempting to do by asking these questions is to just shoot the shit with them, try to be friendly with them, and try to understand who they are. I don't understand why 8's view this as such a threat.
    If you have an agenda, are trying to pump me for information about myself or other people, or generally being a repetitive pain, we're done.


    Well many times I ask questions in order to just understand how to thoroughly perform a task, or in order to completely grasp a subject. As a core 6, I constantly think that I am going to fuck things up, and I ask questions in order to avoid messing things up. After all, the more you know about how to do a task , the less chance you have of making an error. However, I guess 8's think that this is showing a sign of weakness by questioning yourself and your abilities in the first place. Also, I guess 8's are so gut center that they don't understand why I think about how to do something so much, and why I am not actually doing it.
    I would wonder why you aren't actually doing it. I don't have an issue with wanting clarification on something but you can't stand still and just ask questions. My thought would be that you don't want to and/or don't plan to do anything.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

  4. #24
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ceecee View Post
    My thought would be that you don't want to and/or don't plan to do anything.
    That's fairly weird. Especially since many 8s I know are fairly demanding, and will quickly get pissed if you don't perform a task the way they want. So either I listen to them being pissed, and eventually get fired, or I'll have to ask repeatedly to know how they want me to execute the task.
    ENTj 7-3-8 sx/sp

  5. #25
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    That's fairly weird. Especially since many 8s I know are fairly demanding, and will quickly get pissed if you don't perform a task the way they want. So either I listen to them being pissed, and eventually get fired, or I'll have to ask repeatedly to know how they want me to execute the task.
    I was like that when I was younger but I don't want to expend that kind of energy now.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

  6. #26
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
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    Watching 6s and 8s in action in a work/business kind of environment the thing that tends to stand out most is 6s typically need to cover all bases and be sure within themselves that something is the best move which can make them resistant to change except on their own schedule and can be slow to accepting anothers directions as they want to make up their own mind, they can also often (especially if phobic) suggest they're 'sorry for asking' as they're asking.

    8s will jump in quick, they'll see that the answer is 'obviously X' so make the required changes and explaining the why to appease someone else's doubt is pulling them back from moving into action, they'll do it if there is a need but repeating over and over again is wasting their time, efficiency and action matters, they also appreciate bluntness, not trepidation when asking something, so with the two different approaches frustration often ensures, which is shown by the 8 as impatience.

    The best approach with 8s is: Be direct. If you've asked them once, and don't get it, ask someone else to explain in a different manner, if you cannot do that it is better to annoy them for clarification then do it wrong (just don't apologise over and over while you're asking), both approaches can be unappreciated but the latter is much worse.

    Plus what Jock said.

  7. #27
    Blood of the Exile Animal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    Every enneagram 8 that I have ever known absolutely hates me to ask them questions. They like to get straight and to the point with things, and they want you to get something as fast as possible. Another thing is that if you don't just get something right off the bat, and need to ask more questions to clarify, then they look at you like you are some kind of idiot or something. Oh, and God forbid you need them to repeat themselves, then they really hate you. Has anyone else experienced this with type 8's.

    @Elfboy

    You might like this thread.

    My ex / love of my life is an 8w7 Sx/Sp ESFP .. I can ask him anything I want, but I would not recommend anyone else asking him something about me, ie "She's hot, is she taken?" - I would fear for their safety.

    I am not suggesting all SX 8w7s are like this. He's over the top. I love him for it, but I also recognize that I've never met anyone else quite like him….

    Outside of situations involving me & other guys, I've never seen him attack someone over something minor. He's pretty open & willing to help people & answer questions, though he will push them harder than most.

    My 8w9 Sp life-long friend/ "soul brother" lets me pick his brain. He's quite reasonable. But if he doesn't know someone well, his answers will not be more than two or three words, and usually won't reveal anything about himself.
    Art is the blood of the Exile
    4w3 6w7 8w9 ~ Sx/Sp ~ ISTP ~ LSI-Se

  8. #28
    Blood of the Exile Animal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ceecee View Post
    I was like that when I was younger but I don't want to expend that kind of energy now.
    Are you an 8w9 or 8w7?
    Art is the blood of the Exile
    4w3 6w7 8w9 ~ Sx/Sp ~ ISTP ~ LSI-Se

  9. #29
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    So in other words, as long as they are not prying into you and trying to get into your head, questions are okay?
    Even then. It's mostly if I feel questions are stupid or investigative in nature. Curiosity is fine. Asking me what my views are politically on abortion and I'll usually shut down because no one wins that conversation, and usually people are trying to get a rise or start a fire with those sort of things.

    And there are some things that are stupid/ common sense seeming to me. It irritates me when people ask things like, "what's wrong? " after an incident that is clearly easy to identify the root of my anger if they truly wanted to play detective and find out.
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  10. #30
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Animal View Post
    Are you an 8w9 or 8w7?
    I'm not sure. I feel I lean more towards 8w9 but I have gotten 8w7 on past tests too.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

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