Yea, that actually sounds dreadful. I work with an 8 that's above me, and she doesn't like to communicate either. And I've said this before in your other thread about ISTP's...but they're already hard to read. And really don't like being questioned. I can see why you would be frustrated.
What I am doing now is basically just forcing the guy to communicate. I am also asking him questions despite how stupid he finds them. It is annoying the hell out of him, but I don't care. Yes, he is a true pain in the ass to work with.
Hah, I know this game with my brother. Not as bad thanks to 9>8, but it's frustrating. One thing I've found is that observing environments and tangential commenting tends to produce more information and less aggravation than direct questions. At least with my brother he is more a sort of hands-on, watch-and-learn-as-you-go kind of person. So while I am like you and want to know everything up front, I think it's valuable to try to see how they are likely operating on a different plane of expecting you to absorb and understand via experience and process. It's a challenge for an N 6, but I think it can also be an excellent lesson in being present and facing frightening situations. I just did an intro scuba dive with an instructor I'd bet dollars to donuts was an ISTP, and he was really like that too. I was nervous that I'd mess up... freak out... felt like I didn't know enough... eventually had to just say sod it to myself and go with the flow. It all worked out great. Sometimes it's just okay to be and watch... I think that's so hard for 6s... it's a constant struggle to just let go...
1)Yeah, I don't learn as I go at all. I want everything up front. I would rather discuss the theoretics of a situation in it's entirety before I begin something. I like to be able to see things in my head before I do them.
2)This is why I research the hell out of an instructor before I take them. If I am paying them to teach me something, I want to know that I will get along with them, and that there teaching style matches my learning style, before we begin.
3)On a side note, I finally found my core enneagram type, and you were correct: I am a 6w7 sp/sx. The sp 6w7 tries to be warm and friendly to others in order to be safe. They also try to get on everyone's good side; the sp 6 hates making enemies. Also, the sp 6 is very obsessed with having enough money to survive. In fact, the sp 6 is very much like the gatherer ant from the story of "The Ant and the Grasshopper": they are constantly building resources for when "the winter comes". In addition the sp/sx often times is co-dependent and likes to rely on other people. Sp 6's tend to naturally look for a "father figure" or a mentor so to say, to show them the ropes with everything. I have definitely sought out mentors to look up to in the past because I thought that I would naturally mess things up. Another thing is that the sp 6 tends to be very good at establishing social networks in order to survive. I thought that this was something that strictly social 6's did, but apparently sp 6's do this as well. Social 6's tend to set up social networks in order to be apart of something and in order to find others with like-minds that are also dedicated to doing the greater good and improving society in general.
Also, my second variant is sexual: The sexual 6 tends to be the most counter-phobic 6. The sexual 6 tends to look a bit like an 8 at first site. When the SX 6 perceives a threat, it lashes out at it counter-phobicly. The Sx 6 tends to give out the "Don't fuck with me vibe" to anyone whom is within 3 feet of them. They are also very into physical appearance and it is very important to them to be seen as attractive. In addition a lot of SX 6's like to come off as physically intimidating: many of the male sx 6's tend to be very much into working out heavily, and many of them like to get physically large with large muscles and whatnot in order to feel safe. Many sx 6's are into the martial arts as well because learning to fight well is also a way to come off as physically intimidating to people. Many sx 6's are very much into other really rough sports like football and wrestling as well. The sx 6's tend to be adrenaline junkies as well. Sexual 6's are often highly sexual in the literal sense as well and tend to be sexual freaks. Finally, sexual 6's are often very obsessed with attracting a mate.
I believe that I am a sp/sx 6 because I am a combination of both the self-preservation and the sexual 6. I mostly tend to play it safe: I like to build social networks of people that can help me if I need it, I tend to be very warm and friendly to others and I often disarm others with humor, I tend to be like a gather ant and having a great deal of money and resources tends to make me feel safe, and I tend to try to be as physically safe as possible and try to avoid danger. In terms of the second variant: being physically attractive is something very important to me, I am actually trying to get in shape now and I actually want to become much more large and more physically fit in order to deter people from fucking with me, I'm very obsessed with attracting a mate, and I actually would like to get into the martial arts as well and learn how to fight well.
Also, my sp variant and sx variant tend to fight with one another. On one hand the sp variant wants to stay safe constantly, not do anything that could harm me, and wants to avoid conflict. However, on the other hand, the Sx variant wants to break the rules, do crazy shit, and be and to be confrontational. My variants are very much at odds with one another inside of me.
My father was like that...
He had a fast mind that kept him up at night unless he invented something [which he would later patent] and he said ''a day without danger is like a day without oxygen.''
Now I have an ESTP 8w9 step-father who stays angry all the time.
Is he still alive?