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  1. #21
    libtard SJW chickpea's Avatar
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    I went between neutral/active, my mother was responsive/active and my father was neutral/responsive.

    I've always felt that the 5 description really fits my relationship with my mother.. 4 could work just because my dad wasn't around a lot of my childhood, but I guess I don't remember struggling with that as much.

  2. #22
    untitled Chanaynay's Avatar
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    Oh now I remembered what I realized about this @Riva. The interesting part I took note of was this:

    Active parent produces gut triad child (active = 8, neutral = 9, responsive = 1)
    Responsive parent produces head triad child (neutral = 5, responsive = 6, active = 7)
    Neutral parent produces heart triad child (responsive = 2, neutral = 3, active = 4)

    It makes sense to me, given how having an active parent might create a lot of anger and rage within the child, having a responsive parent might give the child issues with guidance, and having a neutral parent might make the child question what determines his/her self-worth.
    7w6 - 2w3 - 8w7 sx/so


  3. #23
    Riva
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beyonce View Post
    Oh now I remembered what I realized about this @Riva. The interesting part I took note of was this:

    Active parent produces gut triad child (active = 8, neutral = 9, responsive = 1)
    Responsive parent produces head triad child (neutral = 5, responsive = 6, active = 7)
    Neutral parent produces heart triad child (responsive = 2, neutral = 3, active = 4)


    It makes sense to me, given how having an active parent might create a lot of anger and rage within the child, having a responsive parent might give the child issues with guidance, and having a neutral parent might make the child question what determines his/her self-worth.
    Ah yes.

    Might also explain the tri type.

  4. #24
    Temporal Mechanic. Lexicon's Avatar
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    I don't relate to these dynamic categories, really. My dad died when I was 9, & my mom has Borderline Personality Disorder, so she was very much Jekyll & Hyde in terms of attentiveness & affirmation/domination & abuse. She'd be the supportive mother one minute, & emotionally blackmail you with your vulnerabilities the next, because you failed to meet her demands, which were nearly always impossible to reach.

    These descriptions seem to offer a limited scope - they don't really address people who developed around inconsistent parents. So, your guess is as good as mine, I suppose.
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  5. #25
    untitled Chanaynay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Riva View Post
    Ah yes.

    Might also explain the tri type.
    Well, my dad was totally neutral. I was more active around my mom, more neutral towards my dad. But I was still overall pretty active around both. But I don't have a drop of 3 or 4 in me (minus the w3 of my 2 fix, but I think wings aren't of great concern if it's not your core type).
    7w6 - 2w3 - 8w7 sx/so


  6. #26
    A Gentle Whisper ~MS*ANGEL~'s Avatar
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    Neutral child vs. Active parent
    This scenario is thought to produce Enneagram type 9

    The Neutral child is often overwhelmed and frightened by the controlling, domineering Active parent. Lacking self-assertion skills, he prefers to withdraw and stay out of the way, minimizing his own needs and avoiding the parent as much as possible. On the few occasions the child reaches out to the caretaker, he ends up feeling rejected and bullied around for no apparent reason, which causes him to withdraw again. The loneliness, however, also feels like rejection and soon enough the youngster will be ambivalent towards both being alone and being with others.

    Most of the time, a compromise will be made. This type will seek out company but will not invest themselves in it, preferring to keep in the background and go with the flow, partly removed from their actual situation. When alone, they will avoid introspection, which will bring about old feelings of depression and rejection, instead they'd rather numb themselves out with food, TV or other unimportant routines to avoid emotional pain.
    Wow... okay.
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  7. #27
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    This was very interesting in a confusing way. From the description above I should likely be a 6.
    But a while ago I was a 9w1, and yesterday I tested as 3.

    ?

  8. #28
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Riva View Post
    I wonder whether the enneagram 4 makes sense.
    Not for me. But then, as I have always said, I don't believe my 4-ness comes from my parents; it comes from my schooling and interaction with other children. And I guess in some ways the 4 description matches what I was like with my teachers in primary school.

    If there was any influence from my parents, it was because validation came too easily from them and perhaps I didn't believe it.
    INFP 4w5 so/sp

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  9. #29
    You have a choice! 21%'s Avatar
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    I think why I developed into an E4 was probably because I moved countries when I was 4 and experienced a complete culture shock. I could not relate to anybody and I hated school and all those weird disgusting kids with over-eager bright eyes and sticky hands who sang weird nursery rhymes I had never heard of.





    4w5 sp/sx EII

  10. #30
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Riva View Post
    I wonder whether the enneagram 4 makes sense.
    It doesn't for me. I was not a dramatic child seeking attention from my parent.
    That sounds like my ESFP e7 sister....

    The closest to this for me is perhaps neutral child & responsive parent, although I was not THAT neutral. I did ping between feeling smothered at times & feeling invalidated or misunderstood. But I mostly had a responsive parent that was not TOO intrusive. Of course, I have two (even three) parents, and the fathers were a neutral-neutral situation.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

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