User Tag List

First 1234 Last

Results 11 to 20 of 45

  1. #11
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    Enfp
    Enneagram
    497 sx/so
    Socionics
    IEE Fi
    Posts
    14,658

    Default

    k, well I'd say I was responsive as a child and active as a teenager then

    And hell, moved to neutral after realising it wasn't getting me anywhere.

    Mom was responsive/neutral. Dad was...neutral/active, perhaps.
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  2. #12
    Senior Member yeghor's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Posts
    2,418

    Default

    I think I was 70%responsive 30%active child, dad was 70%neutral 30%active, mom was 70%active and %30responsive...

    So roughly responsive child - neutral dad = 2 and responsive child - active mom= 1

  3. #13
    Senior Member Ene's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Enneagram
    9w8
    Posts
    3,545

    Default

    Thanks for tagging me, but I'm not sure what I think of this yet. There are so many variables besides parenting that go into making a person's enneagram type. At least I would think there are.
    A student said to his master: "You teach me fighting, but you talk about peace. How do you reconcile the two?" The master replied: "It is better to be a warrior in a garden than to be a gardener in a war." - unknown/Chinese

    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...=61024&page=14

  4. #14
    Blood of the Exile Animal's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    MBTI
    ISTP
    Enneagram
    4w3 sx/sp
    Socionics
    LSI Se
    Posts
    645

    Default

    @Riva

    The only descriptions that make sense for me are 4, 7, and 8, which happens to be my tritype but - I was absolutely an active child, hands down.

    As for my parents, that's a bit more complicated , but there was no doubt I was an active child. This is part of why I mistyped at 8 and I've wondered why I was so explosive at home like that if I'm a 4, so it is interesting to read this.



    My parents were not neutral per se, but I perceived it that way. I perceived my mother loving my brother more, and my father being unpredictable. Alternately, I also perceived my mother being trustworthy and there for me (though she was MORE there for my brother by comparison, in my mind).. and I perceived my father loving me more than anyone else, but he was emotionally distant (as a 7w8) and yet very active in praising me, my talents, being supportive etc, and he was very responsive about my accomplishments, but also very critical of my every blunder.

    My mother fought with me because I was mean to my brother and constantly accused her of loving him more, and compared everything she ever gave him, saying I wanted that too, and it wasn't fair.

    I fought with my father a lot but I never doubted that he cared about me more than he cared about anyone else. The problem is that he cared about himself the most, and didn't always have time or interest to deal with other people. You could never predict if a request would be met with an angry "leave me alone." or a welcoming "Sure, I'll help!" You could never predict if your accomplishment would be criticized or praised. My first diary entry is a stick figure drawing of me holding a knife and smiling, and my father's eyes gauged out, bleeding. Most of my focus was on hating my father AND craving his approval, and where my mother was concerned, my focus was on competing with my brother for her love.

    However, ACTIVE is an understatement for my childhood. I became increasingly withdrawn as I felt more and more as though my parents wouldn't understand me. I built up a fantasy world in my head and it was elaborate. In kindergarten I was "queen of the playground," ordering the other kids to play the fantasy roles to enact the story in my imagination. I had trouble sleeping all my life, and stayed up for hours continuing the same fantasy stories over many years. I started a diary early and started writing songs at 8, about these characters which I sang about and wrote about in first person, because they were me. The first major character was homeless, tortured but free, in love with a boy that didn't love her back. There were always romantic fantasies and they often involved rejection. These things were so elaborate, that slowly I drew away from the world. By age 11 I wrote my first 400 page sci-fi book, and also started compiling photo-stories with a friend who was willing to pose in costume and take photos of me in costume. I also had a music career by 13, singing and playing piano at local bars. I spent lunch periods alone practicing singing and piano in music rooms or writing books. Due to my love for music and fantasy I was increasingly isolated - I did not relate to other kids in theater whatsoever and found them loud and obnoxious whereas I was there for music rather than attention. I did not relate to kids in school becasue I had a passion for music and theater. I had one friend who was spiritual and involved with music, an 8w9, and he "understood me" but he only dated pretty girls, so I felt alienated like I wasn't pretty enough to be cool like his other friends. Most of my energy went into music and writing and practicing and performing. My parents were supportive of this. Then I became very sick at 16, almost died, and many things changed.

    I see a pattern in my childhood of feeling isolated, alienated, rejected, loved "less" in comparison and not good enough, but if there is one thing I always was, it's 'active.'
    Art is the blood of the Exile
    4w3 6w7 8w9 ~ Sx/Sp ~ ISTP ~ LSI-Se

  5. #15
    philosopher wood nymph greenfairy's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2012
    MBTI
    iNfj
    Enneagram
    6w5 sx/sp
    Posts
    4,042

    Default

    I think I was neutral and my mom was responsive and my dad was neutral, and the 5 and 3 descriptions fit me pretty well. I wasn't really the description of active or responsive when I was a child, but I was very social until we moved; so I didn't prefer solitude. But I could deal with it. It's more later in life when I was a teenager on that I perceived my mom as smothering.

    Edit: And the 9 could fit as well; my mom could be active at times and my stepmother might have been, and I just got this perception about authority figures somehow that they were bossy and controlling and didn't care and I should minimize my needs and go away. That was around middle school I guess. I've never been afraid to question authority figures though, or take them on as equals. I just on some level fear punishment.

  6. #16
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    9w1 sx/so
    Posts
    18,086

    Default

    i feel like i was neutral, responsive and active and my parents were neutral, responsive

    i always had encouragement and attentiveness but they certainly didn't do everything for me or were in any way overbearing.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  7. #17
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    enfp
    Enneagram
    8
    Posts
    13,881

    Default

    Active child vs. Active parent
    This scenario is thought to produce Enneagram type 8.

    The child and parent experience open conflicts on a regular basis. They both have different agendas and oppose each other, thus giving rise to power struggles and explosive arguments. The Active parent is impatient and intolerant of the child's rebellious nature and tries to impose his will in an authoritarian fashion. The Active child, on the other hand, becomes aggressive, argumentative and persistent in getting his own way. The relationship becomes a sort of battlefield, which is how the child will later perceive the world around him (type 8).

    Such a childhood scenario encourages the child to develop a keen eye for spotting other people's weaknesses and a thirst for imposing their will in an overly aggressive fashion. They learn to be assertive, strong and deny their fears and feelings of intimidation. These are the traits they needed to have in order to stand up to their domineering parents and still keep their own Active inborn approach.
    While I would put my mom in a responsive role, I usually dealt with my dad.. and so, this really stands out.
    Kantgirl: Just say "I'm feminine and I'll punch anyone who says otherwise!"
    Halla74: Think your way through the world. Feel your way through life.

    Cimarron: maybe Prpl will be your girl-bud
    prplchknz: i don't like it

    In Search Of... ... Kiwi Sketch Art ... Dream Journal ... Kyuuei's Cook book ... Kyu's Tiny House Blog ... Minimalist Challenge ... Kyu's Savings Challenge

  8. #18
    untitled Chanaynay's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7w6 sx/so
    Posts
    5,151

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    While I would put my mom in a responsive role, I usually dealt with my dad.. and so, this really stands out.
    Yeah, my dad was a neutral parent. But I interacted with my mom way more than him so I don't really consider much in how he played into my development.
    7w6 - 2w3 - 8w7 sx/so


  9. #19
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    enfp
    Enneagram
    8
    Posts
    13,881

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Beyonce View Post
    Yeah, my dad was a neutral parent. But I interacted with my mom way more than him so I don't really consider much in how he played into my development.
    It's funny how that works. Both my parents lived in the same house, and I even saw my mother more--but my dad was definitely the head of household, and it was very obvious that everything my mom said/did was in support of his decisions. We were all in his shadow.. my middle sister appealed to him via being overly affectionate and throwing tantrums whenever he wasn't buying her charms.. my youngest sister rebelled entirely.. and I went a very different route from them.
    Kantgirl: Just say "I'm feminine and I'll punch anyone who says otherwise!"
    Halla74: Think your way through the world. Feel your way through life.

    Cimarron: maybe Prpl will be your girl-bud
    prplchknz: i don't like it

    In Search Of... ... Kiwi Sketch Art ... Dream Journal ... Kyuuei's Cook book ... Kyu's Tiny House Blog ... Minimalist Challenge ... Kyu's Savings Challenge

  10. #20
    likes this gromit's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    6,652

    Default

    This doesn't really sound like my childhood at all...

    My mom was prob 50-50 responsive/active, my dad pretty split between the three actually. First decade of life was pretty idyllic in a lot of ways, plenty of affection. But I do remember in pre-teens and teenage years that I was keeping out of the way, minimizing problems, because my parents had a lot to deal with, with 4 other younger siblings, and my older brother was pretty problematic and caused them some grief. I still hate to tell my parents when things aren't going well for me actually. Don't want them to worry.

    Neutral child vs. Active parent
    This scenario is thought to produce Enneagram type 9

    The Neutral child is often overwhelmed and frightened by the controlling, domineering Active parent. Lacking self-assertion skills, he prefers to withdraw and stay out of the way, minimizing his own needs and avoiding the parent as much as possible. On the few occasions the child reaches out to the caretaker, he ends up feeling rejected and bullied around for no apparent reason, which causes him to withdraw again. The loneliness, however, also feels like rejection and soon enough the youngster will be ambivalent towards both being alone and being with others.

    Most of the time, a compromise will be made. This type will seek out company but will not invest themselves in it, preferring to keep in the background and go with the flow, partly removed from their actual situation. When alone, they will avoid introspection, which will bring about old feelings of depression and rejection, instead they'd rather numb themselves out with food, TV or other unimportant routines to avoid emotional pain.
    Your kisses, sweeter than honey. But guess what, so is my money.

Similar Threads

  1. [Enne] INFJs: what's your enneagram type?
    By Evan in forum Enneagram
    Replies: 207
    Last Post: 07-07-2017, 11:11 PM
  2. [ISFJ] ISFJs, what's your Enneagram type?
    By NewEra in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 28
    Last Post: 05-19-2016, 09:30 PM
  3. [ISTJ] My fellow ISTJs - What's your enneagram type?
    By NewEra in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 31
    Last Post: 07-02-2010, 11:03 AM
  4. [ESFJ] ESFJs, what's your Enneagram type?
    By NewEra in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 08-23-2009, 07:46 AM
  5. What's your ENNEAGRAM Type and Variant?
    By sakuraba in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 10-21-2008, 11:13 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO