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  1. #1
    Honor Thy Inferior Such Irony's Avatar
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    Default Same enneatype with opposite stacking vs. same stacking among dissimilar enneatypes

    Here's a question for all you enneagram enthusiasts out there:

    Do you find you relate better to people who share your enneatype/wing combo even if they have the opposite stacking? Or do you relate better to people who share your stacking even if their enneatype/wing combo is the one that's most dissimilar to yours?
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  2. #2
    brainheart
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    Enneatype wing combo. I don't even relate that well to other sp/sx types- moreso sx/sp or sx/so of the non-fours. My guess is that because for most other sp types the focus is on financial security, etc. They're a lot more materialistic.

    Conversely, I have a good friend who is a 4w5 sx/sp and another who is 4w5 so/sp and we get each other really well.

    The wing doesn't even really matter much, either. The core four deal is paramount. As @Sanjuro said, I'm 4w5-4w4-4w4.

  3. #3
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    Very interesting question.

    I think I might actually relate more to the people of the same instinctual stacking.

    There's an energy to sx/so people that is just different than most people, and you can feel it.

    That being said, I notice 6s, and can relate to them a good deal, despite instinctual stacking differences.

  4. #4
    untitled Chanaynay's Avatar
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    Definitely instinctual stacking, I can relate to various types ranging from from E1 (EJCC), E2 (Showbread), E4 (ayoitsStepho), and E6 (skylights) since the certain so/sx energy that permeates through my interaction more than me being E7 is still there. Even Pseudo (E5) I relate to after reading her posts - what she believes in, how she argues, etc.

    Not that I don't relate to people like Starry or Lady X - I just relate to them for different reasons.

    A bit of theorizing for a second - I might expect social-lasts to relate to those of their E-Type more than social-seconds or social-firsts, because seeing how other people interact in the world, how you come off to others, etc is kind of pushed to the back of their mind. Just a random thought though.
    7w6 - 2w3 - 8w7 sx/so


  5. #5
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chanaynay View Post
    Definitely instinctual stacking, I can relate to various types ranging from from E1 (EJCC), E2 (Showbread), E4 (ayoitsStepho), and E6 (skylights) since the certain so/sx energy that permeates through my interaction more than me being E7 is still there. Even Pseudo (E5) I relate to after reading her posts - what she believes in, how she argues, etc.
    I relate to that same handful of people for the same reason. Almost more than the only other actively posting e1/ESTJ here... No offense to @SD45T-2. I really relate to him, but our vibes are VERY different.

    Edit: My theory on this, is that people probably "vibe" more like people with the same stacking, than others of their type with different stackings? Not sure, but my experience fits the theory.
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
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  6. #6
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    For me, I relate more to fellow e-4's than to so/sp's of other types.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  7. #7
    Blood of the Exile Animal's Avatar
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    I am most similar to other e-4s.

    Most of my closest friends are 6's of various instincts but it's more of a mutual admiration/ filling in where the other lacks, rather than a mirroring deal.

    The people who have felt like "mirrors," in retrospect, were all core 4s.

    One was a 4w3SX . I relate to him more but like him less than the others. Me & the 4w3 SX were intensely competitive with each other, in a very direct way - even had physical fights (and I'm female). He was gay and hit on guys that I liked, even slept with one of them. He always told me I was exactly like him, and it pissed me off becuase I knew how true it was.

    I had more in common .. in a deep way.. with a particular male 4w5 So who I dated, though. We had similar tastes, even dressed the same and looked like twins. We were eerily similar, but I suppose he didnt disgust me as much as the other guy . :p

    I relate tremendously to a 4w3 SO who I am talking to lately. We have almost nothing in common at surface or presentation, but deep down we get each other.
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  8. #8
    brainheart
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    Quote Originally Posted by Animal View Post
    I relate tremendously to a 4w3 SO who I am talking to lately. We have almost nothing in common at surface or presentation, but deep down we get each other.
    That's exactly it.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Sanjuro's Avatar
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    I don't relate to people in general.

    I especially don't relate to other people of my core type (I discount wing in this case), since I'm a weird, half-formed version of my type and being next to them honestly just makes me feel inferior. If I may say so.

    Instinct? Well as near as I can tell, I'm sx-first, yet reading others' accounts on personality subforums makes me wonder if all sx-firsts are not completely batshit. I don't relate to their descriptions of themselves (and that's generally the newbies--"I'm so intense and awesome, I OOZE sex appeal and people are mysteriously drawn to me and blech").

    That said, I've interacted with a number of sp-firsts IRL and their concerns just irk me. Socials, I'm kind of neutral on. I don't actually know that many sexuals; tend to get along great with them if I meet them, though. I wouldn't say that's "relating", however.

    EDIT: I see other people are having these great moments of recognition on very deep levels with people of similar core type, wing, and instinct. I hope one day to join you all.

  10. #10
    metamorphosing Flâneuse's Avatar
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    I definitely relate to other 9w1s better, even if they have the opposite stacking (so/sx). I find the similarities between me and non-9 sp/sx types to be pretty superficial (like greater introversion and similar vibes/energy), unless they're also Fi-dom.
    I think the stackings manifest in very different ways in all the e-types. It's rare for me to read a stacking description that really seems like it could encompass all 18 type/wing combos with that stacking.

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