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[Traditional Enneagram] 4s - Why

TheCheeseBurgerKing

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Jan 5, 2013
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473
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ISTP
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8
I know I always come on here burning hot, but A) what I say is true, and B) this is site is where I vent
 

TheCheeseBurgerKing

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Jan 5, 2013
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What stuff exactly? I don't really know what you're talking about.

All the stuff I posted earlier in the thread? Not responding well when some one acheives something semi-notable. Acting like a butthurt and envious little vag about dumb stuff
 
N

ndovjtjcaqidthi

Guest
All the stuff I posted earlier in the thread? Not responding well when some one acheives something semi-notable. Acting like a butthurt and envious little vag about dumb stuff

I cannot stress how supremely imperturbed I would be were you to achieve something semi-notable.
 

TheCheeseBurgerKing

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Jan 5, 2013
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I cannot stress how supremely imperturbed I would be were you to achieve something semi-notable.

Which would be because you are an enneagram 9 primary. A 9 can get punched in the dick and shrug it off in about 10 seconds.


EDIT: You're not just a 9, you're a 9w1, which is more peaceful than any enneatype

EDIT: You should really consider infp by the way. It matches youre enneatype much better. Not to mention youre general personality and demeanor.
 

Nara

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Mar 31, 2014
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178
MBTI Type
WILD
all 4s I know DO NOT like hearing about anyone elses accomplishments regardless of presentation. Its so true dont any of you try denying it.

Because 4s feel like they're compared and sent back to their fear of being insignificant and then less worthy of attention. But average 4s can tell if someone deliberately wants to make them feel miserable or is just talking about other acomplishments without being judgemental.

Imo, they don't feel as threatened as a 3 can be in the same situation, and can respond to it in a depressive and internalized way while 3s are more prone to externalize by being competitive and looking for more accomplishments to get confidence back.

Nevertheless I know lots of other types who avoid to support you or to be genuinely happy for you when you meet with "success", because there are various ideas of success according to the different types and above all envy is a human feeling, so...

Don't know why you're still barking on this thread, but if you're done with your friend, why can't you just move on ?
 

Amargith

Hotel California
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Nov 5, 2008
Messages
14,717
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ENFP
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4dw
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
:shock: ive been accused of many things, but never of being unsupportive. I can certainly have pangs of jealousy and bouts of insecurity triggered by such a thing but it doesnt take a shrink to know those are my own seperate issues and have nothing to do with the accomplishments of others or my genuine joy of seeing them succeed and be happy.
 

Nara

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Mar 31, 2014
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Yea but you 4s should really stop being so gay about that stuff, it's really gay and retarded

Hm, I see...

uUbNzzO.gif
 

Nara

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:shock: ive been accused of many things, but never of being unsupportive. I can certainly have pangs of jealousy and bouts of insecurity triggered by such a thing but it doesnt take a shrink to know those are my own seperate issues and have nothing to do with the accomplishments of others or my genuine joy of seeing them succeed and be happy.

Neither do I. I could be genuinely happy for significant others but still feel uncomfortable towards my own lack and it wasn't incompatible, but people like collier are unable to see it (perhaps because it makes him feel more important). But not now 'cause I focus on my own path and don't waste my time with comparison.
 

Animal

So carnal it's spiritual
Joined
Mar 9, 2013
Messages
650
MBTI Type
SeFi
Enneagram
4
[MENTION=15318]Evee[/MENTION] [MENTION=17911]Animal[/MENTION]

Its just ridiculous how I can't tell a 4 about my accomplishment with him seeming butthurt. I mean yeah I'm sure that geting butthurt like that is supposed to be a characteristic of an unhealthy 4, but all 4s I know DO NOT like hearing about anyone elses accomplishments regardless of presentation. Its so true dont any of you try denying it, because I call bullshit.

[MENTION=15318]Evee[/MENTION] Are you night and days?

EDIT: Yea you are lol. Do you ever consider INFP? You cross me as the dark, edgar allen poe infp type. Haha lol

Hm, it depends on the specific accomplishment. I'm truly happy for my friends' accomplishments unless they are accomplished at something that I wanted to do myself, something like..

I had a music career as an early teen and lost my singing voice to an illness which left me speaking in a whisper, and feeling unfairly robbed of the destiny I worked so hard all my life to achieve. So when a female friend sings lead on her songs and shows me, and the song is beautiful, I try to be nice but inside I feel sick. Normally I'm pretty honest but in this case, I really do try to be supportive despite my feelings because I care about my friends and I don't want my issues to affect them negatively. I have art , music and writing where I can express my own feelings. But inside, I would compare her voice, her songs, her execution, her musicianship, to mine.. and feel simultaneously angry that I could have done better if I had my voice, or that she did something I couldn't have ever done, or whatever. I try to give a polite compliment and take distance from her until I feel better.

But if the same friend made a ton of money, got married, or moved up in her company, I wouldn't be jealous because that's not stepping on my specific territory.


Actually the example I have in mind is my friend who is a 3w4, and she is very very accomplished, and she loves me to pieces and says I'm one of the few people who has never been jealous of her and it's impressive to her, but I told her I do get jealous with the music but it's more important to me to be a good friend, so I want her to keep showing it to me. And also, when I hear her music, it gives me impetus to work harder on the music I still make, or to work harder on my novel. The jealousy can be motivating.
 

Chthonic

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Jun 18, 2014
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683
This envy thing manifested in the most interesting way in my last relationship. I became envious of my boyfriend and his looks to the point where I began to hate him and then hate me for being far less attractive than Him. It didnt matter to me that he loved me and told me I was attractive and it was awesome being with someone I was finally attracted to. I just hated being the least attractive of the pair.
 

TheCheeseBurgerKing

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Jan 5, 2013
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ISTP
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Just to clarify, the relationship that I'm refering too IS NOT a romantic one. You guys are really creeping me out with all that talk. :shock:
 
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