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Thread: 4s - Why

  1. #21
    Blood of the Exile Animal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by collierm48 View Post
    Also, I just read that 4's are healthy when they are envious and emotionally turbulent? What the FLYING FUCK?
    4s: What the hell. What do you suggest? pls help



    Why: Because 4s withdraw and don't express our emotions.
    If we are expressing ourselves aloud and directly, that is more healthy.
    Expressing ourselves includes envy and emotional turbulence.

    Unhealthy 4 expresses it in their music or art, or in their diary, but doesn't tell you directly and secretly resents you for failing to figure it out. If you want an example of this mentality I can send you a link to my first music album.

    Every song I'm so angry and jilted about him not caring, being with other women, tossing me out.

    When I told him I cared about him, after 3 years of non-commitment and putting my feelings ONLY in my songs (which I didn't show anyone back then), he was shocked and told me he had to close off to me because he thought I didn't care. He was also a 4w5 secretly resenting me for the same thing. So we just played games for 3 years and the damage was irreparable. That's unhealthy 4.

    Healthy: I tell my partner I'm jealous. I cry. He accepts it. I fall into his arms and laugh and thank him for accepting me. We make love.
    Art is the blood of the Exile
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  2. #22
    Senior Member Noon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zarathustra View Post
    That's exactly how I feel about them.
    Quote Originally Posted by Animal View Post
    It's happened before too, with other 6s.
    This is too funny. Not your sadness, Animal, I'm sorry - but the 6s. I honestly have a lot of sympathy for some of the sixing one of my 4s had to put up with. Why were they afraid? Do you know? I wonder if I'd relate.

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Noon View Post
    This is too funny. Not your sadness, Animal, I'm sorry - but the 6s. I honestly have a lot of sympathy for some of the sixing one of my 4s had to put up with. Why were they afraid? Do you know? I wonder if I'd relate.
    I feel a lot of sympathy for the 4ing this six had to put up with!

    :P

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    Quote Originally Posted by Zarathustra View Post
    I feel a lot of sympathy for the 4ing this six had to put up with!

    :P
    Seriously, tho...

    What is it about 6s and 4s?

    I honestly feel like we're both moths to each other's flames

  5. #25
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  6. #26
    Blood of the Exile Animal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Noon View Post
    This is too funny. Not your sadness, Animal, I'm sorry - but the 6s. I honestly have a lot of sympathy for some of the sixing one of my 4s had to put up with. Why were they afraid? Do you know? I wonder if I'd relate.
    Afraid of the way I dive into my emotions. I've literally made a 6 dig his nails into his skin just for watching me paint along with music. I'm so emotional.. and expressive.. 6s think away their emotions and don't want to be affected. They're building the very wall that I am breaking. But then, you know.. there's this beautiful wall. And I want to climb it. And bust through it. And I can't stop staring at the intricacies of it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Zarathustra View Post
    I feel a lot of sympathy for the 4ing this six had to put up with!

    :P
    I feel more sorry for the 4'ing myself. ;D
    Although I don't know.. my life-long nemesis (and muse) is a 6 and neither one of us has ever managed to destroy the other.

    Quote Originally Posted by Zarathustra View Post
    Seriously, tho...

    What is it about 6s and 4s?

    I honestly feel like we're both moths to each other's flames
    I HATE 6's for this reason. Moth to each other's flames and then they get annoyed with me for being the same illogical, emotional me that they loved in the first place!!!!!! But they're so hot while they spew logic in my face… and the logic is so deliciously… logical.

    grRrrrrr.
    Art is the blood of the Exile
    4w3 6w7 8w9 ~ Sx/Sp ~ ISTP ~ LSI-Se

  7. #27
    Senior Member Noon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zarathustra View Post
    I feel a lot of sympathy for the 4ing this six had to put up with!

    :P


    Quote Originally Posted by Zarathustra View Post
    I honestly feel like we're both moths to each other's flames
    It's true.

    Quote Originally Posted by Animal View Post
    Afraid of the way I dive into my emotions. ... 6s compartmentalize away from their emotions and don't want to be affected.
    This is funny because the reason I keep gravitating towards 4s is actually because they don't compartmentalize their emotions. They meet me halfway always & there's no roundabout fakeness before we get there; no fear about less-than-pretty things. The realness is what's most addictive aside from the things that might be coming from my 4 fix. I notice you're a sexual 4 though. Ha! The 4 I was most 'afraid' of was a sexual 4, and it was (a) when he got pissed off, (b) when he said something to shock or rattle me (that I sometimes took seriously, much to his chagrin ) that fear & testing came in.

    Although I don't know.. my life-long nemesis (and muse) is a 6 and neither one of us has ever managed to destroy the other.
    I am debating whether or not to take this risk with another 4.

  8. #28
    Senior Member Noon's Avatar
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    On a more serious note though, it can't be coincidental that the people I've learned from and grown through the most have been 4s. The non-fear of not so pretty feelings extends to being the first to show me my own fears are not universally applicable very often. So with 4s we end up creating our own safe space where real healing actually happens. If they're creative it also feeds my own creativity.

    Their being moody also makes them more understanding of other peoples' moodiness (even if my eterna-doubt & analysis paralyses might be more foreign).

    So it's not just fire and drama and reactivity. Fours are genuinely great, refreshingly sensitive people. Thus my dilemma. Clearly I'm addicted in any case.

  9. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Noon View Post
    I seem to have this dilemma where I'm addicted to 4s and afraid of them at the same time. Thread title is situation-appropriate.
    Quote Originally Posted by Zarathustra View Post
    That's exactly how I feel about them.

  10. #30
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    Tbh, the anxiety and paranoia of a 6 is a turn-off - and something I cannot deal with long-term. I get that they don't mistrust me coz of who I am but coz they doubt their own judgement, but there's only so many times i'll prove to someone that I'm trustworthy before I'm exhausted and walk away. I don't particularly feel like staying where I'm (periodically) not wanted. I'll stick to the anger of an 8, or the shame of a 3.

    And from their side, I'm sure they don't know how to deal with the emotional turbulence and moodiness that I need to go through to be able to function. I try to hide that from friends and family and isolate myself when it gets too bad, but my partner...well, I have to be able to be myself at home (and vice versa). Iow, someone who is not stressed by me being sullen or temperamental would be great.
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