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Thread: 4s - Why

  1. #91
    Senior Member Array Nara's Avatar
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    Mar 2014


    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    ive been accused of many things, but never of being unsupportive. I can certainly have pangs of jealousy and bouts of insecurity triggered by such a thing but it doesnt take a shrink to know those are my own seperate issues and have nothing to do with the accomplishments of others or my genuine joy of seeing them succeed and be happy.
    Neither do I. I could be genuinely happy for significant others but still feel uncomfortable towards my own lack and it wasn't incompatible, but people like collier are unable to see it (perhaps because it makes him feel more important). But not now 'cause I focus on my own path and don't waste my time with comparison.
    To exist is to change, to change is to mature, to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly.
    Henri Bergson

    C'est faux de dire: Je pense : on devrait dire : On me pense.
    It is wrong to say: I think. One should say: I am thought.
    Arthur Rimbaud

  2. #92
    Blood of the Exile Array Animal's Avatar
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    Mar 2013
    4w3 sx/sp
    EII None


    Quote Originally Posted by collierm48 View Post
    @Evee @Animal

    Its just ridiculous how I can't tell a 4 about my accomplishment with him seeming butthurt. I mean yeah I'm sure that geting butthurt like that is supposed to be a characteristic of an unhealthy 4, but all 4s I know DO NOT like hearing about anyone elses accomplishments regardless of presentation. Its so true dont any of you try denying it, because I call bullshit.

    @Evee Are you night and days?

    EDIT: Yea you are lol. Do you ever consider INFP? You cross me as the dark, edgar allen poe infp type. Haha lol
    Hm, it depends on the specific accomplishment. I'm truly happy for my friends' accomplishments unless they are accomplished at something that I wanted to do myself, something like..

    I had a music career as an early teen and lost my singing voice to an illness which left me speaking in a whisper, and feeling unfairly robbed of the destiny I worked so hard all my life to achieve. So when a female friend sings lead on her songs and shows me, and the song is beautiful, I try to be nice but inside I feel sick. Normally I'm pretty honest but in this case, I really do try to be supportive despite my feelings because I care about my friends and I don't want my issues to affect them negatively. I have art , music and writing where I can express my own feelings. But inside, I would compare her voice, her songs, her execution, her musicianship, to mine.. and feel simultaneously angry that I could have done better if I had my voice, or that she did something I couldn't have ever done, or whatever. I try to give a polite compliment and take distance from her until I feel better.

    But if the same friend made a ton of money, got married, or moved up in her company, I wouldn't be jealous because that's not stepping on my specific territory.

    Actually the example I have in mind is my friend who is a 3w4, and she is very very accomplished, and she loves me to pieces and says I'm one of the few people who has never been jealous of her and it's impressive to her, but I told her I do get jealous with the music but it's more important to me to be a good friend, so I want her to keep showing it to me. And also, when I hear her music, it gives me impetus to work harder on the music I still make, or to work harder on my novel. The jealousy can be motivating.
    Art is the blood of the Exile
    4w3 8w9 6w5 Sx/Sp

  3. #93
    So tired... Array Amargith's Avatar
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    Nov 2008
    4dw sx/so
    IEx None



  4. #94
    Senior Member Array
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    Jun 2014


    This envy thing manifested in the most interesting way in my last relationship. I became envious of my boyfriend and his looks to the point where I began to hate him and then hate me for being far less attractive than Him. It didnt matter to me that he loved me and told me I was attractive and it was awesome being with someone I was finally attracted to. I just hated being the least attractive of the pair.

  5. #95
    Senior Member Array TheCheeseBurgerKing's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2013


    Just to clarify, the relationship that I'm refering too IS NOT a romantic one. You guys are really creeping me out with all that talk.

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