I started taking Enneagram tests 3 years ago and have always come up as 8w7. I have never, however, felt at home in m type's forums. I thought it was due to there being a big number both of mystyped people and stereotypes about type 8, but reading through type 4's threads I was shocked at how much I could relate. I took a test today and got 5w4-4w5-8w7, but since I don't trust tests completely I'm asking for help.
A questionary linked to me by @Animal:
What age range are you in?
I’m 23 years old.
Any disorders or conditions we should know about?
Not that I know of.
1. What do you think your life is about? What drives you in life? This can be something like a goal or a purpose, or anything else that comes to mind.
I want to be recognized and prized for who I am and my special talents. I want to inspire people to be themselves too, to feel confident and not be afraid of being genuine no matter what the rest of the world thinks.
2. What were you like as a kid?
Very curious, artistic, fertile imagination, smart. I loved to create elaborate make believe situations, either with dolls or just in my head and loved to recreate my favorite scenes from TV shows, specially the dramatic ones.
3. Describe your relationship with your parents. Does anything stand out about the way you interacted?
My mom and I always had long conversations, she had a lot of patience in answering my endless questions and respected my individuality and pace.
4. What values are important to you? What do you hope to avoid doing or being?
I value honesty, specially being honest with oneself, honoring your passions and respecting other people right to be who they are. I try to avoid being narrow minded, rude and conceited.
5. Aside from phobias, are there any fears that characterized your childhood? Have they continued into the present day, or not, and if not, how have you dealt with them?
Fear of abandonment because I stayed with my grandma during the day and she was an alcoholic. She could be really irresponsible, go out to shop for groceries and don’t come back for hours. I used to panic back then. She once let me alone in our way home from school because I didn’t answer a question she made (I didn’t hear it) and I ran after her crying.
I’d say it may manifest in me being so reticent in getting close to people. I don’t want to get attached just to be abandoned later.
6. a.) How do you see yourself?
b.) How do you want others to see you?
c.) What do you dislike the most in other people?
a) A kitten that when stressed will glare at you with her claws out but otherwise has a semi-permanent judging look.
b) Special, unique, top notch material.
c) Dishonesty and crudeness.
7. Which habit do you most automatically act on? Rank the following habits from most to least automatic, on a scale of 1 (most) to 3 (least).
a.) Work for personal gain with more concern for self than for others.
b.) Strive for a sense of tranquility in yourself and the world around you.
c.) Decide what is right for the betterment of something or someone else.
I act precisely in this order.
8. Where does the wandering mind take you? What provokes this?
Everywhere and anywhere, I just can’t stop thinking. I think mostly about music, dance, photography, human relations and mystical things. I also think a lot about how to improve myself and why I do the things I do.
Very small things or a comment in passing can spark overnight musings about human existence and the nature of the universe.
9.What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?
I feel best when I can dedicate myself to things I love without external pressures and when I can enjoy good company.
I feel worse when in an environment that doesn’t respect me and where I have to change myself to fit in. And when I allow my fears to get the best of me and let myself sown.
10. Let's talk about emotions. Explain what might make you feel the following, how they feel to you or how you react to the emotion:
People are my main source of anger. Stupid people, rude people, know-it-all’s and people who try to control me. When I see somebody in a position I’d give everything to be in and they don’t show appreciation for it, I get angry too.
I feel ashamed when I underperform and when I overreact. I just disappear for as long as I can.
When something is up in the air and I have no idea if I can make it or not. I hate uncertainty, specially if its related to money or health.
11. Describe how you respond to the following:
I withdrawn completely and when I absolute have to talk to people I can be blunt and hurt them accidentally.
b.) negative unexpected change
I get angry and have to know why it had to happen. I may drop everything.
Never avoided conflict. It’s better to have things out in the open than to let our feelings become poison inside.
12. a.) What kind of role are you naturally inclined to take in a group? Why?
Creative director, mostly, though I always end up doubling as leader. It’s natural to me to provide people with ideas and decide in which direction we’re going.
Others see as a good leader even though I try to avoid the position.
b.) If put in power, how do you behave? Why?
I’m assertive, objective and encouraging. It’s just how it is, not a conscious decision.
c.) Do you tend to struggle with others who have authority over you? Why?
Yes, I hate it. I hate people imposing on my time, invading my privacy and telling me what to do.
I wanna be able to decide whether I do things, how and when I do them and for how long. I just want to be free.
13. What do you see or notice in others that most people don't?
I see who people are beneath the masks they wear and it both infuriates me and makes me sad that they would feel the need to. I also can spot a bad seed a mile away and it baffles me how others can’t.
14. Comment on your relationship with trust.
I don’t trust, period. I always tell people to not trust me too much as well. You never know.
15. Briefly: What religious and/or political beliefs do you have? Do you think they influenced your responses in this questionnaire?
I’m agnostic. I’m mystical but not religious and no, it didn’t influence me at all.
Optional Question (due to personal nature)
Discuss an event that has impacted your life significantly; more importantly, how you responded to it.
When I told my mom I wanted to be a singer at 12 and she shut me down. I never recovered.
Even though she changed her mind and supports me now, I have issues when it comes to singing in front of other people and in my real life no one knows of my dream. I just became very self destructive for a long while, I sabotage myself because I can’t be what I am.
Which of the following temptations do you find yourself acting upon the most? (And briefly state why)
- To constantly push yourself to be “the best”
- To be without needs, well-intentioned
- To replace direct experience with concepts
- To have an extreme sense of personal moral obligation
- To think that fulfillment is somewhere else
- To cyclically become indecisive and seek others for reassurance
- To overuse imagination in searching for yourself
- To avoid conflicts and asserting yourself
- To consider yourself entirely self-sufficient
I realize my desires in my fantasies if I can’t in real life.
What's something you are: a.) thankful you have b.) wish you could have? Why?
a) I’m thankful for being alive and healthy, for being loved, being an intelligent human being and mostly, for being an individual in a sea of minions.
b) Though it may seem that I'm self suficient and don't need anone I actually long for friendship. I want friends that for once have me as a priorit and are as dedicated to me as I am to them, that understand me and that I can count on. I'm hard to get to know and I'm trying to change a bit.
Any other questions, feel free to ask.