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  1. #41
    Senior Member HBIC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Animal View Post
    I'm a clear SX dom, according to some the most clear they've ever seen lol… and I'm mostly obsessed with my projects, music, writing and so forth, and sometimes a person.

    That being said, even if my projects come to include social issues, the crux of them is always about a person. My songs, stories, everything; people tell me the lyrics are 'intellectual' and make psychological deep points… but I will be the first to confess that even a song that is about people or about myself, or about a social idea… was motivated by a guy I was in love with, either an ex or a prospect or a current…. EVERY TIME. It's always a thought process inspired by an SX connection. But then, over time, the project becomes much bigger to me than the SX connection alone. Like my book now, I came up with the plot 10 years ago and it came from IRL experiences with specific people.. but then their ideals and so forth, stemmed out to "symbolize" something larger.
    @Look Alive_Sunshine
    Oh...well. I can’t say the same. I write about people too, but in general or referencing somebody in special, but not romantically. It just doesn't occur to me.

    Quote Originally Posted by johnnyyukon View Post
    You seem like you're mostly having an illuminating discussion on what enneagram you are. That's great, BUT I just wanted to say that really, in the end, I think you're the only one that can type yourself.
    Obviously.

    Quote Originally Posted by brainheart View Post
    Interesting, you picked all the contra-flow types. This doesn't surprise me, that's what I was figuring for you. Information on contra-flow and syn-flow are on the link I sent you. Yes, sexual doms will be obsessed by whatever or whomever attracts them. As @Animal says, it's typically both. For sexual doms, life is about getting that charge and intensity.

    I would think a 4w3 so/sp would identify a lot with 3. Conversely, it makes sense that sx 3w4 would identify a lot with 4. That's why I'd say try to focus on the instincts irrespective of the enneagram type. It might actually help you figure out your core type.
    Yeah, individuals don't nearly interest me as much. If they pick my interest I become fixated on the idea of figuring that out but once I do, they're out of my mind again. Like a puzzle that has been solved.

    At least the two types aren't largerly off the mark.

    Quote Originally Posted by Animal View Post
    @brainheart - I agree with you on that, especially where the dominant instinct is concerned.

    I make a decent example of this, I think..

    This was helpul.

  2. #42
    Senior Member HBIC's Avatar
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    DP, it's been a while.

  3. #43
    Senior Member HBIC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Animal View Post
    I'm a clear SX dom, according to some the most clear they've ever seen lol… and I'm mostly obsessed with my projects, music, writing and so forth, and sometimes a person.

    That being said, even if my projects come to include social issues, the crux of them is always about a person. My songs, stories, everything; people tell me the lyrics are 'intellectual' and make psychological deep points… but I will be the first to confess that even a song that is about people or about myself, or about a social idea… was motivated by a guy I was in love with, either an ex or a prospect or a current…. EVERY TIME. It's always a thought process inspired by an SX connection. But then, over time, the project becomes much bigger to me than the SX connection alone. Like my book now, I came up with the plot 10 years ago and it came from IRL experiences with specific people.. but then their ideals and so forth, stemmed out to "symbolize" something larger.
    @Look Alive_Sunshine
    Oh...well. I can’t say the same. I write about people too, but in general or referencing somebody in special, but not romantically. It just doesn't occur to me.

    Quote Originally Posted by johnnyyukon View Post
    You seem like you're mostly having an illuminating discussion on what enneagram you are. That's great, BUT I just wanted to say that really, in the end, I think you're the only one that can type yourself.
    Obviously.

    Quote Originally Posted by brainheart View Post
    Interesting, you picked all the contra-flow types. This doesn't surprise me, that's what I was figuring for you. Information on contra-flow and syn-flow are on the link I sent you. Yes, sexual doms will be obsessed by whatever or whomever attracts them. As @Animal says, it's typically both. For sexual doms, life is about getting that charge and intensity.

    I would think a 4w3 so/sp would identify a lot with 3. Conversely, it makes sense that sx 3w4 would identify a lot with 4. That's why I'd say try to focus on the instincts irrespective of the enneagram type. It might actually help you figure out your core type.
    Yeah, individuals don't nearly interest me as much. If they pick my interest I become fixated on the idea of figuring that out but once I do, they're out of my mind again. Like a puzzle that has been solved.

    At least the two types aren't largerly off the mark.

    Quote Originally Posted by Animal View Post
    @brainheart - I agree with you on that, especially where the dominant instinct is concerned.

    I make a decent example of this, I think..

    This was helpul.

  4. #44
    Blood of the Exile Animal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Look Alive_Sunshine View Post
    Oh...well. I can’t say the same. I write about people too, but in general or referencing somebody in special, but not romantically. It just doesn't occur to me.



    Obviously.



    Yeah, individuals don't nearly interest me as much. If they pick my interest I become fixated on the idea of figuring that out but once I do, they're out of my mind again. Like a puzzle that has been solved.

    At least the two types aren't largerly off the mark.



    This was helpul.
    Glad if it was helpful. : )
    Art is the blood of the Exile
    4w3 6w7 8w9 ~ Sx/Sp ~ ISTP ~ LSI-Se

  5. #45
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by brainheart View Post
    If the sx/sp interaction style freaks you out my bet is you aren't sx/sp. Nothing in your questionnaire answers struck me as sx/sp. Sx/so, maybe, but not sx/sp. (I still think so/sp is probably a good fit.)
    However, 3s are naturally more emotionally collected, level-headed people (outwardly anyway). They're also more likely to talk about the parts of themselves they want to convey rather than the stuff underneath. Their passions don't usually boil over like some other types.

    Have you read these? In my experience they are very right on.

    soc/sx
    Motivation: to create lasting connections with those they are interested in - the "best friend."

    soc/sp
    Motivation: to attain status within their chosen sphere - the "social climber."

    sp/sx
    Motivation: to live in a secure, comfortable environment where they can pursue their private interests in depth.

    sp/soc
    Motivation: to attain a position of material and societal security.

    sx/sp
    Motivation: to know the heart, reconcile inner conflict, form a secure union.

    sx/so
    Motivation: to impact others, question assumptions, challenge convention.

    The link they are from goes into greater detail about the instincts but I often think the essence of something is more universal than the particulars. From here: http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...tual-Stackings
    Sorry, but the So/Sp description is terrible! I know I'm So/Sp but too many descriptions focus on status social climbing which is just being reliant on stereotypes. It makes me doubt all the rest too.

    Quote Originally Posted by Look Alive_Sunshine View Post
    That was interesting, because usuall they describe sx doms as obssessed with only people, not things.
    Yes this is true. I think Sx is can be oversimplified. What it comes down to is a need to feel things intently, and a need to focus all your attention and passion into very specific places (eg. a SO, a friend, a pastime, a job, an activity/experience etc). It's being very laser-like in your tastes and drives. It's often all or nothing - no half-measures in life. Also if you are a 3, you will naturally be more project-driven in your passions.

    My sister is a Sx/Sp e1 and she wouldn't describe herself as obsessive. She does get intense and passionate about the people and things she's interested in, but she's not a stalker or anything. For example, she a major foodie. She just loves to cook, to try new foods, find out about complex cooking techniques, go to food and wine festivals, learn about wine and the way it combines with certain foods etc. She also has great taste and very high standards when it comes to quality. Having worked extensively in hospitality I would say she will end up owning an amazing restaurant some day.

    Note: I'm not saying this is what you are. I just don't want you to eliminate the possibility too soon.
    INFP 4w5 so/sp

    I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas;
    they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.

    - Emily Bronte

  6. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    However, 3s are naturally more emotionally collected, level-headed people (outwardly anyway). They're also more likely to talk about the parts of themselves they want to convey rather than the stuff underneath. Their passions don't usually boil over like some other types.
    Yes, true.


    Sorry, but the So/Sp description is terrible! I know I'm So/Sp but too many descriptions focus on status social climbing which is just being reliant on stereotypes. It makes me doubt all the rest too.
    Is there a motivation that you think would be more fitting for so/sp?

    I think Sx is can be oversimplified. What it comes down to is a need to feel things intently, and a need to focus all your attention and passion into very specific places (eg. a SO, a friend, a pastime, a job, an activity/experience etc). It's being very laser-like in your tastes and drives. It's often all or nothing - no half-measures in life. Also if you are a 3, you will naturally be more project-driven in your passions.
    Yeah, I'd agree with that, especially the bolded.

  7. #47
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by brainheart View Post
    Is there a motivation that you think would be more fitting for so/sp?
    I know So/Sp types are perhaps the most aware of social structures and roles, but they vary in what they want to use this knowledge for. Some may use it to climb the social ladder, but others like the 4 or 5 want to use it to study and critique patterns of human behaviour. I guess I would say they wish to obtain mastery over the social realm - depending on the type, that can mean gaining status, or gaining insights into interaction dynamics, or learning how to manage conflicts etc. It's about feeling in 'control' over the (scary) complexities of social world as a means of protecting oneself against it.

    For me personally, as potentially nice it would be to feel important/significant, status just wouldn't cut it in terms of delivering that feeling of security.
    INFP 4w5 so/sp

    I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas;
    they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.

    - Emily Bronte

  8. #48
    Senior Member HBIC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    However, 3s are naturally more emotionally collected, level-headed people (outwardly anyway). They're also more likely to talk about the parts of themselves they want to convey rather than the stuff underneath. Their passions don't usually boil over like some other types.
    That's a good description of what I have observed and what I myself experience. Not that is enough to go by, of course.

    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    Sorry, but the So/Sp description is terrible! I know I'm So/Sp but too many descriptions focus on status social climbing which is just being reliant on stereotypes. It makes me doubt all the rest too.
    I was put off by that too, "social climber" is hardly a term I'd use to describe myself.

    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    Yes this is true. I think Sx is can be oversimplified. What it comes down to is a need to feel things intently, and a need to focus all your attention and passion into very specific places (eg. a SO, a friend, a pastime, a job, an activity/experience etc). It's being very laser-like in your tastes and drives. It's often all or nothing - no half-measures in life. Also if you are a 3, you will naturally be more project-driven in your passions.

    My sister is a Sx/Sp e1 and she wouldn't describe herself as obsessive. She does get intense and passionate about the people and things she's interested in, but she's not a stalker or anything. For example, she a major foodie. She just loves to cook, to try new foods, find out about complex cooking techniques, go to food and wine festivals, learn about wine and the way it combines with certain foods etc. She also has great taste and very high standards when it comes to quality. Having worked extensively in hospitality I would say she will end up owning an amazing restaurant some day.

    Note: I'm not saying this is what you are. I just don't want you to eliminate the possibility too soon.
    The parts relating to passionately dedicating ourself to an activity resonate with me. As I said the only thing keeping me from identifying with sx dom as my first instintic is the interpersonal bits. I just can't phantom being obssessed with someone else when I find myself and the things I like so much more interesting.

    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    I know So/Sp types are perhaps the most aware of social structures and roles, but they vary in what they want to use this knowledge for. Some may use it to climb the social ladder, but others like the 4 or 5 want to use it to study and critique patterns of human behaviour. I guess I would say they wish to obtain mastery over the social realm - depending on the type, that can mean gaining status, or gaining insights into interaction dynamics, or learning how to manage conflicts etc. It's about feeling in 'control' over the (scary) complexities of social world as a means of protecting oneself against it.

    For me personally, as potentially nice it would be to feel important/significant, status just wouldn't cut it in terms of delivering that feeling of security.
    Now that's something I can get 100% behind. That's how it is, I notice right after getting into a room who gets a say in what and I store that information for later, and use it depending on my agenda at the moment. It's not all about using people, in fact usually that is the last thing in my mind. It's about knowing how to navigate the system and what buttons to push.

  9. #49
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Look Alive_Sunshine View Post
    Now that's something I can get 100% behind. That's how it is, I notice right after getting into a room who gets a say in what and I store that information for later, and use it depending on my agenda at the moment. It's not all about using people, in fact usually that is the last thing in my mind. It's about knowing how to navigate the system and what buttons to push.
    This is where things get a bit murky because, like I said, the Social instinct and the 3 have some cross-over. The things you describe here are very 3-like; 3s are good at spotting dynamics and know how to work them. OTOH having the Social instinct doesn't necessarily mean you're good at working such things; it just means you notice and care about them. For example, I'm a Social-dom and I'm shy, anti-social, and pretty socially awkward.

    If you are a 3, I would say it's unlikely that you're a Social-dom. The two combined simply reinforce each other and make a sort of uber-3 - which is not something that you would easily miss or be confused about.
    INFP 4w5 so/sp

    I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas;
    they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.

    - Emily Bronte

  10. #50
    Senior Member HBIC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    This is where things get a bit murky because, like I said, the Social instinct and the 3 have some cross-over. The things you describe here are very 3-like; 3s are good at spotting dynamics and know how to work them. OTOH having the Social instinct doesn't necessarily mean you're good at working such things; it just means you notice and care about them. For example, I'm a Social-dom and I'm shy, anti-social, and pretty socially awkward.

    If you are a 3, I would say it's unlikely that you're a Social-dom. The two combined simply reinforce each other and make a sort of uber-3 - which is not something that you would easily miss or be confused about.
    Yes, it's a characteristic strong enough to guide me in a specific direction, but it also can easily makes one confused between it existing due to type or dom. I think I have it down now.

    I wouldn't say I'm shy, anti-social or socially awkward though I'm sure that's how a lot of people see me. I'm picky and somewhat of a cultural snob, those are usually my reasons for not socializing and not fear of interaction. I have fear of letting people in, but I much enjoy social dynamics, they're mighty fun.

    [QUOTE]Style Four: the Original Person

    A primary vulnerability of all human beings is the fear of being abandoned or rejected. Some personality theorists would say this is the primary human vulnerability. Being abandoned is certainly what a helpless infant and child fears most and this anxiety diminishes very little in adults. It is the area of vulnerability that FOURS are most acutely sensitive to. They are fearful of being left out or left behind and are hurt by feeling neglected, ignored, and uncared for.

    FOURS are also vulnerable to feeling flawed, defective, unwanted, and uninteresting. They report they are sensitive to being criticized about their style or taste and are hurt by any lack of recognition of their creativity.

    When these areas of vulnerability are breached, the FOURS’ maladaptive schemas are likely to arise.

    “I’m not special.”

    “I’m lacking, deficient, flawed, missing something.”

    “I’m not good enough.”

    “I’m not loved or noticed enough.”

    “I’m not worthy of being loved.”

    “I’m different.”

    “No one understands me.”

    “I have to go it alone.”

    “If I get what others have, I’ll find my real self.”

    “A special love will make me whole, complete, valuable.”

    Their defensive interpersonal style was established to protect them from being and feeling abandoned. If they fear they are about to be left behind, their self image that they are special and unique gets activated; their envy scans the environment and queries the mirror as to who is the fairest in the land; they repress their ordinariness in favor of becoming out of the ordinary, if not extraordinary. “If I’m special and impact your life in a memorable manner, you will never forget me.”

    The ego strategy that FOURS devise to keep themselves from being abandoned leads them to abandon their authentic self which is the real basis of their feeling lost, unnoticed, and unwanted. They miss themselves. FOURS often devalue and reject themselves before others have a chance to. Having left themselves behind, they must seek outside to complete themselves.

    As is the case with the “neurotic solutions” of other styles, the FOURS’ strategy of being very intense or very attached may paradoxically scare people away. Or they may reject others first before any suitors predictably abandon them. Tragically their defensive tactics frustrate their authentic desires to belong, to discover themselves, to be original, to be ordinary, and to feel connected to others.

    If FOURS remain moored to their essence when their primary vulnerability is threatened, they will be authentic and they can engage the essences of others and feel related. If they move to envy, they contact their false personalities and the false selves of others and feel lonely. Their adaptive self keeps them attuned to reality instead of to their fantasies, while their virtue of equanimity leads them to their commonness that relates FOURS to all other creatures. Ironically, what they fear most, being ordinary, brings them to what they desire most, being connected./QUOTE]

    That's what resonated with me.
    Last edited by HBIC; 04-21-2014 at 07:04 PM.

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