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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alea_iacta_est View Post
    I'd believe you to be the same trifix as me, (I mistyped not only as an 8w7 before but also a 458).

    Possibly a 1 - 5 - 4 variant or 5 - 1 - 4 variant.
    As I stated before I don’t put too much trust on tests, but I’ve always scored low on type 1. As I recall and your comment seems to confirm it, type 1‘s focus on perfection which is hardly a concern for me. In terms of techical standards I seek excellence, not perfection.

    Quote Originally Posted by Alea_iacta_est View Post
    With your need to be seen as special and unique to others, is it to be seen as different primarily or to be seen as perfect or near perfect?
    I want to grab people’s attention and leave an impression that never leaves their mind. Leave my mark, so to speak. So when they think of that specific thing that matters to me, they think of me.

    I’ll use performing as an example: when I perform I may not be the best singer or dancer in the group, but I pride myself in being the most charismatic, having that “x factor” that others don’t. So even though I might not take the prize home I’ll be the one people will be commenting on when the show’s over. I’d say the same about my relationships, I don’t strive to hid my flaws and never make mistakes, I just want to be their favorite despite all.

    Quote Originally Posted by Alea_iacta_est View Post
    I see Type 1 shine with your anger description, your disintegration (negative stress -> sullen, withdrawn).

    Your description of your dream being crushed sounds like the corruption of the Type 1's holy idea, perfection (but is limited to the self in this instance). When you are held-back from something because you aren't good enough makes you probably come to the conclusion that you are inherently flawed, broken, or corrupted as a person (disintegration to 4).
    I don’t see how having my dream crushed has anything to do with perfection.

    Can't really comment much on the rest because I've honestly never paid attention to type 1. Will read on it now.

    Quote Originally Posted by Alea_iacta_est View Post
    I can point to more evidence if necessary, and I'm sure some better typers like @Elfboy and @Mal12345 can lend a hand as well and possibly debunk my own interpretation.
    I vastly disagree with @Elfboy’s take on the Enneagram types, but I’ll message @Mal12345 and see if he/she (?) is willing to help.

    But by all means, I wanna hear what other evidence you have to present. What’s your interpretation?

  2. #12
    brainheart
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    Definitely IXXJ, probably INFJ (that has to do with the concern of being rude or conceited). I could see 4w3 or 6w5.

    4w3: You talk a lot about performing and impressing everyone. This makes me thing 4w3 over 4w5. It's not that 4w5 doesn't want to impress, but it's... different than how you put it. It's almost like a 'take it or leave it' thing, what matters with a 4w5 is more how the 4w5 feels about it than what others think. Also, the comments about being 'one of a kind.' It seems to me like 4w3s care about this a lot more than 4w5s. 4w5s are painfully aware that they aren't like others, there is little need to show it. It just happens, no matter what.


    6w5: You talk a lot about trust and not trusting. This seems to be a big issue for this type. Also, the desire for certainty- very six. But that could also be a J thing.

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by brainheart View Post
    Definitely IXXJ, probably INFJ (that has to do with the concern of being rude or conceited). I could see 4w3 or 6w5.

    4w3: You talk a lot about performing and impressing everyone. This makes me thing 4w3 over 4w5. It's not that 4w5 doesn't want to impress, but it's... different than how you put it. It's almost like a 'take it or leave it' thing, what matters with a 4w5 is more how the 4w5 feels about it than what others think. Also, the comments about being 'one of a kind.' It seems to me like 4w3s care about this a lot more than 4w5s. 4w5s are painfully aware that they aren't like others, there is little need to show it. It just happens, no matter what.


    6w5: You talk a lot about trust and not trusting. This seems to be a big issue for this type. Also, the desire for certainty- very six. But that could also be a J thing.
    Oh hello there, I thought no one else would comment anymore.

    My concern with not being rude or conceived came not too long ago, I sure was not as conscientious a couple years back. I used to be very "take it or leave it" back then. Since people were mean to me I thought they deserved the same. But I'm much more mature though not completely healed now.

    Any other reasons you see INFJ? I actually made a MBTI type thread Desperately Seeking TYpe but INFJ never came up.

    I've been reading on type 4 since yesterday and I'm pretty set, but I'll take a look on 4 titypes that include 6. Maybe as you've said, it's a J thing.

  4. #14
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    So, I took four tests yesterday just to confirm type and surprise, surprise:

    [IMG][/IMG]
    [IMG][/IMG]
    [IMG][/IMG]
    [IMG][/IMG]

    @Animal Remember this:

    Quote Originally Posted by Animal View Post
    @Starry
    I know what you mean. I've known three core 3s well in my life and one is very camera-aware, she's a photographer and model and every angle always looks perfect. I can be like this too, not just about my image, but about any person's image.. or any photo I take of nature, because I am very aware of beauty. Even a picture of a dead cat bleeding out of its eyes will be angled just so; because that is how I see things, I have a natural eye for beauty. It's not about trying to impress.. i have an impulse for things to be beautiful. My room is beautiful with each item placed expressively and meaningfully. I don't even have any local friends since I moved here, so it's beautiful because that is what I want, not because it impresses anybody. I am known in any place I have lived for being that person who unpacked and set up their room or dorm room along with the wall hangings before even sleeping the first night. I *must* be surrounded by beauty and honest self-expression or I cannot be creative in my own space. So this personal expression includes being angled a certain way in the camera.

    I share this awareness the 3 who is a photographer. However, she is more concerned with how other people will view things. Her room at home is always a mess, but her awareness of beauty comes out almost exclusively in settings where other people will see it. I taught her photography & lent my camera & sneaked her into my college dark room when she was 15, and by the time she was 16 she kicked my ass at photography hands down and now she has this cultish kind of expression that is just soul-shaking.
    To which I answered:

    Quote Originally Posted by Look Alive_Sunshine View Post
    I'm not sure that's related to Enneagram type. I could have written this myself, word for word, and I'm not a type 3. Granted, the rest of your post focusing on self image concern didn't apply to me but this description of how you see beauty was picth perfect.
    Well, it's all very funny now .

  5. #15
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Look Alive_Sunshine View Post
    As I stated before I don’t put too much trust on tests, but I’ve always scored low on type 1. As I recall and your comment seems to confirm it, type 1‘s focus on perfection which is hardly a concern for me. In terms of techical standards I seek excellence, not perfection.


    I want to grab people’s attention and leave an impression that never leaves their mind. Leave my mark, so to speak. So when they think of that specific thing that matters to me, they think of me.

    I’ll use performing as an example: when I perform I may not be the best singer or dancer in the group, but I pride myself in being the most charismatic, having that “x factor” that others don’t. So even though I might not take the prize home I’ll be the one people will be commenting on when the show’s over. I’d say the same about my relationships, I don’t strive to hid my flaws and never make mistakes, I just want to be their favorite despite all.
    All this screams 3w4 to me: seeking excellence, but on your own terms.

    It now makes more sense that you typed 8 before, because 3s, like 8s, are very driven people and value self-possession and mastery.
    INFP 4w5 so/sp

    I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas;
    they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.

    - Emily Bronte

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    All this screams 3w4 to me: seeking excellence, but on your own terms.

    It now makes more sense that you typed 8 before, because 3s, like 8s, are very driven people and value self-possession and mastery.
    Thank you for the input, and yes, I see the similarities. If the results count for anything it's quite possible I have an 8 fix as well.

  7. #17
    Blood of the Exile Animal's Avatar
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    @Look Alive_Sunshine

    I could see it, now that you mention it. Some of the things you wrote in your thread initially struck me as 4, but looking over it again it could go either way. I still need to do a thorough break-down of your thread, which I didn't do because I thought you'd figured out your type. I can see from what you wrote here 3w4 is a definite possibility.

    The tests aren't always accurate though. I still test as 5 or 8 core, almost every time to this day. I took the test recently and I scored 4w5 both times, but also with 1 and 5 fixes which is definitely incorrect.

    But if you relate to 3, that's a whole other thing. =)

    This:

    As I stated before I don’t put too much trust on tests, but I’ve always scored low on type 1. As I recall and your comment seems to confirm it, type 1‘s focus on perfection which is hardly a concern for me. In terms of techical standards I seek excellence, not perfection.


    I want to grab people’s attention and leave an impression that never leaves their mind. Leave my mark, so to speak. So when they think of that specific thing that matters to me, they think of me.

    I’ll use performing as an example: when I perform I may not be the best singer or dancer in the group, but I pride myself in being the most charismatic, having that “x factor” that others don’t. So even though I might not take the prize home I’ll be the one people will be commenting on when the show’s over. I’d say the same about my relationships, I don’t strive to hid my flaws and never make mistakes, I just want to be their favorite despite all.
    It does sound 3.

    I guess I will ask: how would you know you were the best? What would make you feel like you werE?

    How do you feel when you perceive someone else being better than you?
    Art is the blood of the Exile
    4w3 6w7 8w9 ~ Sx/Sp ~ ISTP ~ LSI-Se

  8. #18
    Blood of the Exile Animal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Look Alive_Sunshine View Post
    1. What do you think your life is about? What drives you in life? This can be something like a goal or a purpose, or anything else that comes to mind.
    I want to be recognized and prized for who I am and my special talents. I want to inspire people to be themselves too, to feel confident and not be afraid of being genuine no matter what the rest of the world thinks.
    This sounds like image - 3 or 4. "Being recognized and prized" sounds 3 of course, but 4s can want that too. "Inspire people to be themselves, feel confident, not be afraid of being genuine." This can be attributed to 4 , who are concerned with genuineness, but we must also remember that 3's holy virtue is HONESTY. So 3's find it very important to be genuine as well. The 3 sin of 'self-deceit,' kind of … losing themselves in the grind, in the acquisition, in the game… is coupled with the virtue of honesty. So it's something that can be on their mind, the idea of being themselves. A love for authenticity can be 4, but is certainly not limited to 4. And with 4s it can be so endemic that they might even WISH they could play the game or feel two ways about it, especially 4w3s.


    2. What were you like as a kid?
    Very curious, artistic, fertile imagination, smart. I loved to create elaborate make believe situations, either with dolls or just in my head and loved to recreate my favorite scenes from TV shows, specially the dramatic ones.
    Haha I did this too, with the dolls.


    3. Describe your relationship with your parents. Does anything stand out about the way you interacted?
    My mom and I always had long conversations, she had a lot of patience in answering my endless questions and respected my individuality and pace.
    Sweet.

    Do other people not respect your individuality and pace as she does?

    4. What values are important to you? What do you hope to avoid doing or being?
    I value honesty, specially being honest with oneself, honoring your passions and respecting other people right to be who they are. I try to avoid being narrow minded, rude and conceited.
    Do you have to avoid being narrow minded, rude or conceited? Would these things happen on their own if you didn't avoid them?

    As for honesty, honoring your passions, this could be any type, but again I will mention the virtue of 3 is honesty, and 4s are known for emphasis on authenticity, and 8s are very.. "give it to me real/ keep it real" and many other types can value honesty too. That's sort of…beyond enneagram; I think everyone values it to a degree. But the fact that you bring it up a lot, means it's very important to you.

    What, to you, constitutes "Dishonesty?"

    5. Aside from phobias, are there any fears that characterized your childhood? Have they continued into the present day, or not, and if not, how have you dealt with them?
    Fear of abandonment because I stayed with my grandma during the day and she was an alcoholic. She could be really irresponsible, go out to shop for groceries and don’t come back for hours. I used to panic back then. She once let me alone in our way home from school because I didn’t answer a question she made (I didn’t hear it) and I ran after her crying.

    I’d say it may manifest in me being so reticent in getting close to people. I don’t want to get attached just to be abandoned later.
    Sorry you went through that. Fear of abandonment is also beyond enneagram but as a main fear it is often associated with 4 and 6.

    6. a.) How do you see yourself?
    b.) How do you want others to see you?
    c.) What do you dislike the most in other people?


    a) A kitten that when stressed will glare at you with her claws out but otherwise has a semi-permanent judging look.
    b) Special, unique, top notch material.
    c) Dishonesty and crudeness.
    The judging look is interesting. Why do you want that?

    The second one sounds 4 or 3ish. Although personally I'm more concerned with being authentic than being seen as unique. I know I'm unique, I don't need to think about being seen that way. If someone doesn't see it, they're not seeing me as I am. I have heard opposing opinions from 4s (some agree with me on this, some don't) so I don't know if that is helpful. Have you ever felt you were not seen as unique?

    What constitutes crudeness?


    7. Which habit do you most automatically act on? Rank the following habits from most to least automatic, on a scale of 1 (most) to 3 (least).
    a.) Work for personal gain with more concern for self than for others.
    b.) Strive for a sense of tranquility in yourself and the world around you.
    c.) Decide what is right for the betterment of something or someone else.


    I act precisely in this order.
    That would indicate id, ego, super-ego in that order. However I'd put "personal gain" first as well and I'm not an id core. I really don't like this question.

    Id: 3, 7, 8
    Ego: 4, 5, 9
    Super-ego: 2, 6, 1

    8. Where does the wandering mind take you? What provokes this?
    Everywhere and anywhere, I just can’t stop thinking. I think mostly about music, dance, photography, human relations and mystical things. I also think a lot about how to improve myself and why I do the things I do.

    Very small things or a comment in passing can spark overnight musings about human existence and the nature of the universe.
    Can you elaborate on how you improve yourself, and what you think about in this scenario?

    9.What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?
    I feel best when I can dedicate myself to things I love without external pressures and when I can enjoy good company.

    I feel worse when in an environment that doesn’t respect me and where I have to change myself to fit in. And when I allow my fears to get the best of me and let myself sown.
    "Have to change myself to fit in" - Do you change yourself to fit in? How easily do you do this? How often? Would you call yourself adaptable?

    10. Let's talk about emotions. Explain what might make you feel the following, how they feel to you or how you react to the emotion:

    a.) anger

    People are my main source of anger. Stupid people, rude people, know-it-all’s and people who try to control me. When I see somebody in a position I’d give everything to be in and they don’t show appreciation for it, I get angry too.

    b.) shame
    I feel ashamed when I underperform and when I overreact. I just disappear for as long as I can.

    c.) anxiety
    When something is up in the air and I have no idea if I can make it or not. I hate uncertainty, specially if its related to money or health.
    Sounds like you could be Sp-first. Your concern on anxiety was about money, health etc.

    3's feel like they have to keep working or else money and health will fall apart. Do you feel that you have to keep working all the time? Do you feel anxious when you stop?

    B; - how do you know if you underperform or overreact? Is it based on the reactions of others, or some gage you have in yourself for how you should act?

    Where do you go when you disappear?


    A - What positions would you give everything to be in?

    11. Describe how you respond to the following:
    a.) stress

    I withdrawn completely and when I absolute have to talk to people I can be blunt and hurt them accidentally.
    b.) negative unexpected change
    I get angry and have to know why it had to happen. I may drop everything.
    c.) conflict
    Never avoided conflict. It’s better to have things out in the open than to let our feelings become poison inside.
    I can relate to all of this in a sense. I don't like to avoid conflict either. I withdraw under stress and can say stupid things, usually too self-revealing or too vulnerable, sometimes too blunt. These are all vague though, not sure if any is enneagram related except for the conflict thing; you're PROBABLY not a 9 fixer. :P


    12. a.) What kind of role are you naturally inclined to take in a group? Why?
    Creative director, mostly, though I always end up doubling as leader. It’s natural to me to provide people with ideas and decide in which direction we’re going.

    Others see as a good leader even though I try to avoid the position.
    Haha, I can relate to this too.

    Why do you avoid the position?

    b.) If put in power, how do you behave? Why?
    I’m assertive, objective and encouraging. It’s just how it is, not a conscious decision.
    That's a good way to be. Not sure where to put it in enneagram but if I were to be very superficial I'd call it 7 or 3. Although I can be this way too.

    c.) Do you tend to struggle with others who have authority over you? Why?
    Yes, I hate it. I hate people imposing on my time, invading my privacy and telling me what to do.
    I wanna be able to decide whether I do things, how and when I do them and for how long. I just want to be free.
    100% with you here. Autonomy is crucial to me. Autonomy is known to be crucial to 8s and Sp3's specifically, and also type 6, but I see it as a basic human need in addition. Though an emphasis can indicate such types especially if we delve into the 'why's'

    13. What do you see or notice in others that most people don't?
    I see who people are beneath the masks they wear and it both infuriates me and makes me sad that they would feel the need to. I also can spot a bad seed a mile away and it baffles me how others can’t.
    Hmmm. This made me stop for a second.

    4s are known to see the authentic person in people. But 3s are also very sensitive to the masks that others wear, because it's something in themselves that they are possibly less aware of. The fact that it infuriates you and makes you sad is interesting. I am partway with you here - I can see that people wear masks but it doesn't necessarily infuriate me. If they are expecting me to do the same, I simply will not do it, and they have to deal with that. My 'realness' often draws THEM out of their mask, and if it doesn't then they are afraid of me and tend to avoid me.

    As for spotting a bad seed I know what you mean. I tend to be too forgiving but over time I've learned my lesson and I can spot things too.

    14. Comment on your relationship with trust.
    I don’t trust, period. I always tell people to not trust me too much as well. You never know.
    What's the closest you get to trust?


    15. Briefly: What religious and/or political beliefs do you have? Do you think they influenced your responses in this questionnaire?

    I’m agnostic. I’m mystical but not religious and no, it didn’t influence me at all.
    *slaps 5* same here

    Optional Question (due to personal nature)

    Discuss an event that has impacted your life significantly; more importantly, how you responded to it.

    When I told my mom I wanted to be a singer at 12 and she shut me down. I never recovered.
    Even though she changed her mind and supports me now, I have issues when it comes to singing in front of other people and in my real life no one knows of my dream. I just became very self destructive for a long while, I sabotage myself because I can’t be what I am.
    Sorry you went through that. It's hard when parents expect someone to be who they aren't.

    I think this would bother all image types and also some other types, so it's hard to make a distinction.

    Extra Questions

    Which of the following temptations do you find yourself acting upon the most? (And briefly state why)


    - To constantly push yourself to be “the best”
    - To be without needs, well-intentioned
    - To replace direct experience with concepts
    - To have an extreme sense of personal moral obligation
    - To think that fulfillment is somewhere else
    - To cyclically become indecisive and seek others for reassurance
    - To overuse imagination in searching for yourself
    - To avoid conflicts and asserting yourself
    - To consider yourself entirely self-sufficient

    I realize my desires in my fantasies if I can’t in real life.
    This could indicate type 4 superficially but again, the 'why's' need to be explored.

    What's something you are: a.) thankful you have b.) wish you could have? Why?
    a) I’m thankful for being alive and healthy, for being loved, being an intelligent human being and mostly, for being an individual in a sea of minions.
    Haha, that last sentence sounds like a 4 sentiment.

    b) Though it may seem that I'm self suficient and don't need anone I actually long for friendship. I want friends that for once have me as a priorit and are as dedicated to me as I am to them, that understand me and that I can count on. I'm hard to get to know and I'm trying to change a bit.


    Any other questions, feel free to ask.
    Why are you hard to get to know?
    Art is the blood of the Exile
    4w3 6w7 8w9 ~ Sx/Sp ~ ISTP ~ LSI-Se

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Animal View Post
    @Look Alive_Sunshine

    I could see it, now that you mention it. Some of the things you wrote in your thread initially struck me as 4, but looking over it again it could go either way. I still need to do a thorough break-down of your thread, which I didn't do because I thought you'd figured out your type. I can see from what you wrote here 3w4 is a definite possibility.

    The tests aren't always accurate though. I still test as 5 or 8 core, almost every time to this day. I took the test recently and I scored 4w5 both times, but also with 1 and 5 fixes which is definitely incorrect.

    But if you relate to 3, that's a whole other thing. =)

    This:


    It does sound 3.
    I thought I had it figured out, too .

    Oh if you ever get the time and is in the mood, please do a break-down, God knows I need perspective.

    Tests aren't totally reliable, of course. I do relate to 3, I tested as one twice years ago, but I don't think I understdood myself at all back then so I didn't take it seriously.


    Quote Originally Posted by Animal View Post
    I guess I will ask: how would you know you were the best? What would make you feel like you werE?
    I know I am the best without needing anyone to tell me so because I'm the thoughtest critic around and don't miss any detail, but I obviously need for others to see it too. If I know I was the best and yet I wasn't the most praised or commented on, I'll have to figure out wether someone was missing or if it's just the wrong audience. I can't bear the idea of being overlooked. Thankfully I don't recall this ever happening, so it's all hypothetic.

    Quote Originally Posted by Animal View Post
    How do you feel when you perceive someone else being better than you?
    It depends on wether it's something I value or not. If it isn't I couldn't give a damn, I'm supportive and proud of them. But if somebody bests me in my fields of interest...it isn't pretty. I hate feeling envious, but I absolutely can't help it. I don't hate them or anything like it, but I become obssessed with besting them. I don't want them to fail so I can rise up, I just want to surpass them.

  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Animal View Post

    Do other people not respect your individuality and pace as she does?
    Well, it depends on the group I'm in. But what remains the same whenever I go is that people keep telling me or implying indirectly that I'm uncommon. At school it used to be "bad different" as in a weird outcast, but at college and when I'm intereacting with people that share my interests it seems to be a "good different".

    Quote Originally Posted by Animal View Post
    Do you have to avoid being narrow minded, rude or conceited? Would these things happen on their own if you didn't avoid them?
    I was born open minded, I actively changed my family's views on things like homossexualism and religion from a ver early age. I've never been traditional.

    But I can be rude (as in dismissive) and arrogant if I don't watch out for it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Animal View Post

    What, to you, constitutes "Dishonesty?"
    It doesn't mean just lying per se, but hiding things I should know and not being true to ourself. I respect people's secrets, but if they affect me in any way and they don't tell me I'd be furious to find that out in the worst way. And I respect making an executive decision and being pragmatic (I do that all the time), but I find it hard to respet and like people who pretend to be someone else.

    Quote Originally Posted by Animal View Post
    The judging look is interesting. Why do you want that?
    I can't help it, in fact I often have no idea I'm doing it untill someone points it out. My mom says she once looked at me when I was 5 and thought "This one's ruthless!".

    Quote Originally Posted by Animal View Post
    Have you ever felt you were not seen as unique?
    Not that I remember.

    Quote Originally Posted by Animal View Post
    What constitutes crudeness?
    Excessive foul language, bad manners, talking and laughing too loud to seek attention, not knowing what to make public and what to keep private.

    Quote Originally Posted by Animal View Post
    That would indicate id, ego, super-ego in that order. However I'd put "personal gain" first as well and I'm not an id core. I really don't like this question.

    Id: 3, 7, 8
    Ego: 4, 5, 9
    Super-ego: 2, 6, 1
    THat's an interesting look at it. Never thought of it in this terms.

    Quote Originally Posted by Animal View Post
    Can you elaborate on how you improve yourself, and what you think about in this scenario?
    I first and foremost try to get to know myself better, which is the reason for my interest in personality theories and psychology in general. I have been asking for feedback from others too, which is new for me. Then I try to gather what needs to be changed and what stays because it's who I am. It's pretty hard to get rid of bad habits and I relapse sometimes. I want to better myself so I can accomplish more.

    Quote Originally Posted by Animal View Post
    "Have to change myself to fit in" - Do you change yourself to fit in? How easily do you do this? How often? Would you call yourself adaptable?
    I have done this for veer brief periods of time for survival purposes. But it never lasts longer than the utmost necessary, and I try to think of it as acting so it bothers me less.

    It's hard to say if I'm adaptable, I never change who I am inside but I can put up a real good act.

    Quote Originally Posted by Animal View Post
    Sounds like you could be Sp-first. Your concern on anxiety was about money, health etc.

    3's feel like they have to keep working or else money and health will fall apart. Do you feel that you have to keep working all the time? Do you feel anxious when you stop?
    Atually, no. I just want to never want for anything, but I couldn't care less where the money comes from. I'd love to work just for enjoyment.

    Quote Originally Posted by Animal View Post
    B; - how do you know if you underperform or overreact? Is it based on the reactions of others, or some gage you have in yourself for how you should act?
    I know when I underperfom even if others think I was good. But the overreaction part comes from others first, I only realize I did after and then I feel ashamed.

    Quote Originally Posted by Animal View Post
    Where do you go when you disappear?
    To my room and don't answer the phone. Or I wander aorund for a bit, but that is risking encounters so I avoid it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Animal View Post
    A - What positions would you give everything to be in?
    To be a successful performer, that's my main concret goal in life.

    Quote Originally Posted by Animal View Post
    I can relate to all of this in a sense. I don't like to avoid conflict either. I withdraw under stress and can say stupid things, usually too self-revealing or too vulnerable, sometimes too blunt. These are all vague though, not sure if any is enneagram related except for the conflict thing; you're PROBABLY not a 9 fixer. :P
    I say harsh, hurtful things when I'm raw.

    Quote Originally Posted by Animal View Post
    Why do you avoid the position?
    Because I care too much about things and so I now that I'll be stressed. I tend to be unlucky when it comes to work partners, they are either lazy and irresponsible or plain incompetent. So it's all on me. And since I can't bear to embarass myself with a poor job, I end up doing more than my share.

    Quote Originally Posted by Animal View Post
    Hmmm. This made me stop for a second.

    4s are known to see the authentic person in people. But 3s are also very sensitive to the masks that others wear, because it's something in themselves that they are possibly less aware of. The fact that it infuriates you and makes you sad is interesting. I am partway with you here - I can see that people wear masks but it doesn't necessarily infuriate me. If they are expecting me to do the same, I simply will not do it, and they have to deal with that. My 'realness' often draws THEM out of their mask, and if it doesn't then they are afraid of me and tend to avoid me.
    I really don't know why it bothers me so much.

    Quote Originally Posted by Animal View Post
    What's the closest you get to trust?
    When I give them the benefic of the doubt. When I don't actually expect the worst and would be surprised to find out they can't be counted on.

    Quote Originally Posted by Animal View Post
    Why are you hard to get to know?
    I'm very private. When I'm comfortable I talk a lot and joke around, but I don't disclose myself. I share my thoughts but keep anything deep to myself, I think there are things that are only for me to know. It's partially to avoid having information I give used as ammunition and partially just natural love for privacy. One of the top three words people use to describe is "mysterious", but I don't cultivate it.

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