Hi, Could you please help be figure out if I am a 4 or a 9? Both seem to fit and not fit at the same time. I want to know for the sake of self-discovery and as a path to personal growth. My explanation is a bit long because I wanted to be as precise as I can. Thanks 
• Self-discovery is very important to me and I am always trying to discover who I truly am because I want to live as my authentic self (4, not 9).
• I am not as attuned to my emotions. I feel very uncomfortable with negative emotions and have a tendency to suppress them. When a negative mood hits I usually know that it is temporary and not that big of a deal and tend to look for a distraction until it possesses. (9, not 4) I love positive emotions though. I just like feeling good.
• I do not like conflict but will show my frustration and irritation when someone tries to control me. 2 negative emotions I notice the most is anger and disappointment. When my anger gets intense I have a ping pong match going on in my head between keeping the peace or telling someone off and when my disappointment gets intense I feel sad want to be dramatic and throw a tantrum but I keep it inside and do whatever I can to get rid of the feeling. (4 and 9)
• When my emotions are high I withdraw and want to be left alone and when people don't respect that and push me. I can get really angry, mean and harsh and I don't like feeling like that and just want it to go away. I'm not the kind optimistic person I usually am (4 and 9 I think)
• I don’t like to feel rushed (9)
• After being in a state of heightened emotions. I feel really drained and need to sleep or shut myself away for a while (4 and 9 I think)
• I like my space and like a 5 don't like intrusion on my space or time so in that way I am not so accommodating. I can take a passive aggressive stance when someone is demanding and needy. (?)
• I am not that open of a person and take my time to open up. I can sometimes come off as strange when I feel uncomfortable in social situations because I become self-conscious and will shut down (4 and Not 9 I think)
• I have low self-confidence and can be pretty self-conscious (4)
• I am sensitive and will take things to heart and will not forgive the person that hurt me but then I forget about it in some time. However, I don't feel the same way about that person again and will usually avoid them. (Sort of a combo of 4 and 9 and then contradictory as well)
• I tend to go through life in a bit of a haze (9)
• I get stressed out easily and I can feel the tension in my body. My emotions are more explosive when I am stressed or under pressure. (4, Not 9)
• I have never felt like I really belong, I usually feel like I am on the outside looking in but when I do feel like I belong it feels great (4)
• I have an issue with both envy and sloth (4 and 9)
• I tend to be self-absorbed and tend to think about myself first. However, I am also kind. I think about how my actions will affect other people and try not to hurt anyone. (4)
• I feel that my motivation in life is both self-discovery and peace. (4 and 9)
As you can see I am very confused and it is driving me crazy.