He's really easy going and it's very difficult to push his buttons but if I ever do, I get a friendly reminder not to. Whenever he actually is mad about something there's no sense that he's out of control, he just gets a bit louder. That's pretty rare though.
I would have said I was the opposite--kind of volatile and easy to annoy. About IRL stuff, not generally about personality theory or on internet forums.
I think I remember reading somewhere that it was because 6 sounded like a "normal" or "common" person, whatever that is suppose to mean and in that society is more/less based on a 6 way of thinking.
I'd guess that it was the 9s who represent the "common man". Sixes are sometimes said to be the most "human" type, meaning that they face issues representative of humanity at large (surviving in dangerous surroundings, interdependence, interpersonal authority, etc).
If you read Riso and Hudon's words about 6s at a less healthy level, it does kind of grasp a broader social phenomenon:
Fearing that they have ruined their security, they become panicky, volatile, and self-disparaging with acute inferiority feelings. Seeing themselves as defenseless, they seek out a stronger authority or belief to resolve all problems. Highly divisive, disparaging and berating others
Isn't this kind of how society behaves as a whole during a social crisis? Rely on the strong man for security; blame outsiders. Every tribe for itself. I live in a war-torn country, and like many, people here are happy to settle for an iron-fisted dictator because he
keeps stability and makes the danger go away.
So I think that's kind of what people are getting at in your post.
Mistyping is part of the journey. I also find it funny that people are so offended when they think a 6 is mistyping, but if a 4 or 8 is mistyped at another number nobody cares?
Thanks for sharing your story here. It was one of the more egregious things I think I've witnessed on that particular forum; I didn't even realize how extensive it was till you told me about it later.
I guess I don't need to rehash anything you said (I could go through blow by blow, but will spare everyone the rambling). I'd like to mention that in many instances, you're not even allowed to have an 8-fix. People used rather underhanded tactics to try to prove to me I wasn't 8-fixed--putting up material I'd sent confidentially via PM, taking instances of my life out of context, or simply arguing to me using an absurdly poor grasp of the theory at hand.
I recall copying almost word-for-word from Naranjo at one point, only to be told it was more 3 or 7, for instance. It just made me wonder why everyone's egos appear to be so pegged to people not being/being influenced by type 8.
On that forum (couple of years ago), I went mistyped for almost a year. Toward the end, I just began saying things counter to type all the time, and still no one had the balls to correct that. The most I got was "Sanjuro's a very odd 6". Some folks sent me PMs, but basically, the community seemed unwilling to see me another way. I just wonder, Why? If I'd tried to type as 4 or 8 (both of which are FAR more like me, as later research has shown) I would have been argued into retirement, same as you, Animal.
It's almost like it is some sort of an initiation process in the 8 forum that says you need to prove your 8ness. It kind of ties into this thread because as always most people are labeled a 6. I don't know about how other types feel but a lot of proclaimed 8s seem to be proud of their type, so being told they are 6 is the ultimate way to troll them. I can't stand reading the 8 forum, most of the posts sicken me so I pretty much stopped going in.
LOL, I thought this was funny, TreeBob. I know the 8 forum of which you speak. It's like one of those saloons in the Wild West where there are all these weird-shaped guys who think they're real "tough" because they got tattoos, and everyone just sort of makes the world a worse place. A number of real 8s said they stayed away from commenting there for this exact reason.
Too bad that there's a certain segment of the population that will be denied personal growth simply for existing. But that's alright, 8s didn't need personal growth anyway, right? Personal growth is for SISSIES.
This whole six freak out thing will never make sense to me. On the whole, if I had to pick, six is probably my favorite type. And I'm not saying that to be diplomatic or anything. They are just cool, interesting, complex people. (Yes I'm married to one so I'm a little biased.)
Seriously, why do people freak the hell out about six? I'm asking, honestly, because I don't get it and I want some answers.
I think others have addressed the question fairly--perceptions of it being common, misunderstanding the type due to complexity, etc.
In my experience, I started off reading about the types in
Wisdom of the Enneagram. I didn't have any biases. Actually, I liked 6 a lot. (This was maybe 15 years ago when I first learned about the enneagram; I didn't know anything existed beyond that particular book, incidentally).
Problem was when I went to research things online, someone usually had an unfavorable comment about the type. Every time. Sixes were neurotic, paranoid, dithering, indecisive, helpless, incompetent, whatever bullshit people thought they could get away with spewing. Literally no one said anything good about the type; even in comparison with other types, sixes were found to be lacking. "Sixes are pseudo-7s", "Sixes are like 8s, but weaker. They're wannabes if they mistype this way", "Sixes are like 4s, but not as creative. They just wannabe special if they mistype this way" kind of thinking. Most of the time, that's not spelled out so directly, but you get the sense the type is just chronically lacking, which is both untrue and sad.
As someone considering type 6 as my core during this time (again, this was years ago, in college), I basically no longer wanted to be the type. It also pricked my own insecurities (If I'm a 6, does that mean I'm not speshul enough?? Thank God, I've grown up since then). I came off with an unfavorable impression of the type, and apparently I wasn't the only one.
There's lots of misinformation, which I think is a major part of it. Plus, you get the snowball effect on forums--some people say something is true and everyone believes it and spreads it. The fact that we're having this conversation is proof.
I think 6, as a type, tends to be defined in a much broader way than the others. [MENTION=18576]Sanjuro[/MENTION] has already pointed out most of the reasons; the self-contradictory nature of the type, and the way the enneagram community seems to assume that anyone who has a six trait is a six. Honestly, with the way some people define the type, I don't know what it would take to not be a six.
Thanks. I recently observed someone arguing (in essence) that if you don't believe you're absolutely indestructible and the most powerful being in the vicinity, you can't be an 8. You're a cp6 instead.
Real 8s have corroborated that this premise is both false and delusional.
As I said before in this thread and post, I mentioned many things about myself that spoke against core 6 (in retrospect, pretty much everything I said did), yet this wasn't enough. I know the nature of the 6 core sometimes lends itself to questioning or observing others rather than themselves, but come on.
Frankly, the material is in the hands of the uneducated and ignorant, and therefore it is bound to be abused.
Meanwhile, type 8 is defined so narrowly that it sometimes makes me wonder whether 8s (as described on internet forums) even exist. If you're being immature and overly aggressive, you're not an 8. If you ever feel vulnerable, or you're ever affected by any human emotion whatsoever other than anger, you're not an 8. Oh, and most self-typed 8s are "not animalistic enough" to be 8s, whatever that means.
See above. I am strongly animalistic myself, yet I was laughed at when I suggested that might indicate an 8-fix. Ooooh are you an animal today, Sanjuro? Yes I am.
Maybe I'm exaggerating a little, but my point is that some forum members are very eager to put people into the 6 category (if you don't fit anywhere else you're probably a 6, because the opposite of a 6 is a 6) but if you type as an 8, (and the same thing happens with 4 and 5 to an extent) as [MENTION=17911]Animal[/MENTION] said, it's like you have to prove that you're a "real 8". 8 (and 4 and 5) are not standards that people can either meet or fail to live up to.
I'd fail to live up to any of those types, which incidentally, was a reason it was hard for me to figure out and accept my core. By typing this way, I am doomed to feel eternally "not good enough" in an online forum context, when this stuff SHOULD be about personal growth and the inner journey.
My final point on the subject of 8s is that, I don't know whether there are lots of people who want to be 8s, or if that's just something people on forums say, but speaking for myself, I have never wanted to be an 8. Maybe because I've never seriously considered the type for myself (I ruled out all the id types very quickly) and I don't have any desire to be a very different kind of person than who I actually am, but also because the descriptions just don't appeal to me. That's not to say I think 8 is a bad type (I'm not sure I've ever met an 8 IRL, so I don't really have an opinion on whether I tend to like/get along with them) but those Riso and Hudson descriptions that everyone supposedly aspires to, if anything, in their more exaggerated parts at least, make them seem like bullies with no conscience.
I think the main problem with the RH description is that they don't emphasize self-interest nearly enough. Apparently, many cp6s and even some 1s can see themselves in this type more readily than their own type.
Because 6s are balls of anxiety and insecurity. Just talking about 6s is like kicking a bee hive. Anyone with 6 influence goes into fight or flight mode. I already knew this thread was going to explode before I posted it.
LOL GUILTY!!!!
And you call yourself social-last
While I was there I received a lot of 4, 1, 7, and 3 suggestions and only a couple of 6 suggestions. Apparently my angst wasn't cerebral enough for 6 suggestions. The few 6 suggestions I did receive were impressive though. One such "group character assassination" was obnoxious enough that I retired for a few months because I just didn't want to deal with it.
Yes, they do use character assassination, which is frankly way WAY below the belt. I'm actually glad that, so far, Typology Central hasn't exhibited this phenomenon nearly to the same degree. We can actually sit around discussing these issues in a largely adult manner (OK, some people have been wacky, but it's not been as ugly as many other places).
You guys rock.
