User Tag List

123 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 29

  1. #1
    Stansmith
    Guest

    Default How do you feel when taking care of your third instinct/blindspot?

    What have your experiences been like?

    I enjoy doing a lot of the little things associated with Sp-instinct ('cooking', doing chores, planning out meals, carefully selecting foods when grocery shopping, putting money and time to good use, etc.), although I find a lot of the more intensive Sp-related stuff intimidating. The level of engagement that I experience when doing the former could be a Te-fetish thing also, since I often end up doing a lot of that sort of stuff when I'm under stress.

  2. #2
    011235813
    Guest

    Default

    I don't really know if I take care of it? I don't know what taking care of the social instinct would mean. I occasionally read the news and feel proud of myself for being up to date on everything but it doesn't last long enough to be worthwhile and I go back to feeling inept pretty quickly.

    I enjoy reading social dynamics (especially when I find out later that I'm right about them) but it's a strictly observational thing. I would get eaten alive if I participated ... not that I'd particularly want to participate. Ever.

  3. #3
    Unapologetic being Evolving Transparency's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    1w9 sp/sx
    Socionics
    ESI Fi
    Posts
    3,182

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Stansmith View Post
    What have your experiences been like?

    I enjoy doing a lot of the little things associated with Sp-instinct ('cooking', doing chores, planning out meals, carefully selecting foods when grocery shopping, putting money and time to good use, etc.), although I find a lot of the more intensive Sp-related stuff intimidating. The level of engagement that I experience when doing the former could be a Te-fetish thing also, since I often end up doing a lot of that sort of stuff when I'm under stress.
    I find this really interesting. I love doing all of those things you've mentioned.

    What do you consider to be intensive then?

    ***

    For me the so last is a chore.

    Like everything though....once I do it, I realize it's not that bad. But getting me to do it is so very hard.

    Examples would mostly be with my friends. My poor friends They wouldn't hear from me for months if they didn't nag me.

    Specifically I have one so dom friend, that consistantly gets disappointed that I don't text him back to say "How's your day?" or little small talk like that. I just read the texts and then continue to do what ever I'm doing. I have tried to remind myself to set more time for my friends but it's just not easy for me.

    Also I'm not good about showing up to social things on time, especially if it's just to please someone. And when I do, it doesn't leave any long lasting effects.

    However, I do love hanging out with a huge group of people. I like to host things. Doing that kind of stuff gives me a breath of fresh air.
    "Once the game is over, the Pawn and the King go back into the same box"

    Freedom isn't free.
    "Freedom is the right to tell people what they do not want to hear." ~ Orwell
    I'm that person that embodies pretty much everything that you hate. Might as well get used to it.
    Unapologetically bonding in an uninhibited, propelled manner
    10w12

  4. #4
    Entertaining Cracker five sounds's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    729 sx/sp
    Socionics
    IEE Ne
    Posts
    5,634

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Urarienev View Post
    For me the so last is a chore.

    Like everything though....once I do it, I realize it's not that bad. But getting me to do it is so very hard.

    Examples would mostly be with my friends. My poor friends They wouldn't hear from me for months if they didn't nag me.

    Specifically I have one so dom friend, that consistantly gets disappointed that I don't text him back to say "How's your day?" or little small talk like that. I just read the texts and then continue to do what ever I'm doing. I have tried to remind myself to set more time for my friends but it's just not easy for me.

    Also I'm not good about showing up to social things on time, especially if it's just to please someone. And when I do, it doesn't leave any long lasting effects.

    However, I do love hanging out with a huge group of people. I like to host things. Doing that kind of stuff gives me a breath of fresh air.
    yes to all of this! ugh i'm the worst at staying connected with people. i have one friend who i think is so-dom, ENFJ 2w3, and she's awesome, but i constantly feel like i'm disappointing her. i just like can't keep up. fortunately, she like gets me, and i put forth effort to make it to enough things so she knows i still love her. but yeah, i can feel like it's really demanding sometimes, and it's so obvious that's just her natural state.
    You hem me in -- behind and before;
    you have laid your hand upon me.
    Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

  5. #5
    LadyLazarus
    Guest

    Default

    Uncomfortable.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Sanjuro's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    MBTI
    Ne
    Enneagram
    468 sx/so
    Socionics
    :-( None
    Posts
    822

    Default

    Assuming my last instinct is self-pres: I just feel like it's not what I want to be doing; not important, a chore to do as quickly as possible. Example--home repairs, buying clothes, furniture, etc. Thinking of managing a mortgage (dread). Thought of setting down roots (booooring). Getting a house in the suburbs to pass on to future generations (terror).

    Assuming my last instinct is social: I just know I suck at maintaining bonds and influencing people. I am ashamed of this short-coming. As a consequence, I try to avoid social interactions and group-work even more. It feels like torture trying to make myself "mingle", bond, reach out to others, keep up with them, blah blah. (I know that this stuff isn't technically social-instinct related, but have been considering it anyway). I'm not great at observing who's doing what in any given situation, as social-firsts are said to do. Other things, like the news and social phenomena ARE fun for me.

  7. #7
    brainheart
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Sanjuro View Post
    Assuming my last instinct is self-pres: I just feel like it's not what I want to be doing; not important, a chore to do as quickly as possible. Example--home repairs, buying clothes, furniture, etc. Thinking of managing a mortgage (dread). Thought of setting down roots (booooring). Getting a house in the suburbs to pass on to future generations (terror).
    I have yet to meet a sx first XNXP who likes doing this stuff. Just saying. I think I just vomited a bit reading that, honestly.

    Oh, to answer the OP... when taking care of my third instinct I feel like I would rather be sitting in a dentist's chair.

    I think it's got to be different for self pres last people, because self pres stuff is, um, kind of required to stay alive. In other words, you have to attend to it to some extent or you will be dead.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Sanjuro's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    MBTI
    Ne
    Enneagram
    468 sx/so
    Socionics
    :-( None
    Posts
    822

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by brainheart View Post
    I
    Oh, to answer the OP... when taking care of my third instinct I feel like I would rather be sitting in a dentist's chair.
    This is my problem...how much is being an xNxP, and how much is being sp-last??

    Contrariwise, how much of my general lifestyle is being a social-last, and how much is me having been a socially ostracized kid with crappy Fe skills? It gets tricky!

    I can see an argument either way, though I stick with sx/soc because I know when I become vested in a group or social affairs, I do behave like the profile of sx/soc. (I am open to someone changing my mind).

    Also note (anyone who's interested), I've seen the social blindspot in my mother. With her, there's sort of a lack of interest in larger affairs beyond home and family. She sees community affairs as irrelevant, struggles not to feel like a "child" in extended-family situations, and doesn't really "get it" that the group can move against you and hurt you. She was not sympathetic company to me when I was got made fun of as a kid, because she honestly believed that stuff couldn't affect you if you didn't want it to. She's an ISFJ, (so clearly Fe isn't everything). She's also a 9w1/945 for reference.

    So, basically, to her, this stuff seems irrelevant and she feels awkward trying. She treats it with skepticism and wonders why anyone would bother to get upset with it. It may not be the same for everyone, but it's fairly typical of what I read about blindspots.

  9. #9
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4w5 sp/sx
    Socionics
    IEI Ni
    Posts
    7,661

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Stansmith View Post
    What have your experiences been like?

    I enjoy doing a lot of the little things associated with Sp-instinct ('cooking', doing chores, planning out meals, carefully selecting foods when grocery shopping, putting money and time to good use, etc.), although I find a lot of the more intensive Sp-related stuff intimidating. The level of engagement that I experience when doing the former could be a Te-fetish thing also, since I often end up doing a lot of that sort of stuff when I'm under stress.
    I hate most of that stuff. Anything to do with chores or cleaning....blech. My ISFJ sp mom likes it though.
    I don't mind cooking if super fast & easy. I like the idea of trying new recipes, but am not motivated to much.
    I've never had money for much decorating, but I've found I like the idea of it more than doing it. I get bored or frustrated quickly with the physical part of putting stuff together (been in my apt 6 months - have not hung so much as one picture).
    I DO like clothes & makuep shopping & playing with different looks.

    Anyway, being sp-dom, this isn't really anything I'm that into. It's more about personal interests & tastes than chores or home improvement.

    ---

    But back to the OP...
    Taking care of my so instinct involves
    - saying yes to social invites when I'd rather not go because I know I'm getting too isolated (I admit I go with hopes of meeting a potential romantic partner)
    - making myself talk to people I don't know at social things, or even people I do know (ie not running out right after a class)
    - the news thing, as someone else noted (I usually hear news via other people in conversation); and flipping through a trashy gossip magazine while getting my hair done & feeling smug that I don't recognize most names or faces)
    - paying more attention to a group dynamic, trying to see my place it, but usually giving up on having any clear idea
    - finding out some development in a group, but also being the last to know, yet not feeling bad, more like impressed I know anything at all
    - letting people celebrate stuff for me or acknowledge some achievement of mine. For example, I let my mom throw me grad parties for various graduations except my college one. I do regret it, but in the moment, I just don't value the social significance of it
    - going along with some family or religious traditions instead my usual eye-rolling
    - making myself call/text friends/family I haven't talked to in a bit, when normally I just fall off the face of the earth & they must call me
    - feeble attempts to plan something social, which almost never works (even one-on-one stuff), unless someone else co-ops the plan

    EDIT: This is probably more relevant actually
    - making real effort to shop or buy from local/independent sources more
    - doing volunteer work, which has elements of social ideals behind it (but I admit I'm motivated more by a personal spirituality); quit my full time job to work at home for the flexibility to do more
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  10. #10
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Enneagram
    7w8
    Socionics
    ENTj
    Posts
    5,908

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Urarienev View Post
    I find this really interesting. I love doing all of those things you've mentioned.

    What do you consider to be intensive then?

    ***

    For me the so last is a chore.

    Like everything though....once I do it, I realize it's not that bad. But getting me to do it is so very hard.

    Examples would mostly be with my friends. My poor friends They wouldn't hear from me for months if they didn't nag me.

    Specifically I have one so dom friend, that consistantly gets disappointed that I don't text him back to say "How's your day?" or little small talk like that. I just read the texts and then continue to do what ever I'm doing. I have tried to remind myself to set more time for my friends but it's just not easy for me.

    Also I'm not good about showing up to social things on time, especially if it's just to please someone. And when I do, it doesn't leave any long lasting effects.

    However, I do love hanging out with a huge group of people. I like to host things. Doing that kind of stuff gives me a breath of fresh air.
    Yeah, I could have written the post above.

    Oftentimes though, as bad as it may sound, it has to do if I am the one willingly forming the group or not. If so, I can be fairly "invested".
    ENTj 7-3-8 sx/sp

Similar Threads

  1. [NT] ATTN NTs: how do YOU feel about partying/clubbing/raving and recreational drug-taking
    By Ezra in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 139
    Last Post: 01-17-2014, 06:44 PM
  2. [sx] Enneagram sx doms: How do you feel when you aren't sexually desirable?
    By The Great One in forum Instinctual Subtypes
    Replies: 72
    Last Post: 07-30-2013, 02:58 PM
  3. How do you feel about the future of gaming?
    By uncommonentity in forum Arts & Entertainment
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: 08-03-2011, 11:33 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO