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  1. #1
    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
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    Default I eat awkward silence.

    You know those awkward empty spaces in conversation. You know when you're the new odd man out in the group, and people are expecting you to break some ice, introduce yourself, explain your presence? Do you know those times at parties where everybody is talking, laughing, but you're standing awkwardly in the middle of the room, all by yourself, and people notice.

    I do this thing where sometimes I just stretch the awkwardness out as long as possible, I just stand and stare while people shift around uncomfortably. I think I find it compromising to react to social expectations when I don't feel like doing something. And I find the reactions interesting and occasionally enlightening.

    I'm guessing it's a definite SO last thing or maybe other 4s identify with this?

  2. #2
    I could do things Hard's Avatar
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    "Awkward silence" largely doesn't bother me. That said, in hindsight I will see myself avoiding it in situations by doing a lot of talking (I am very talkative and have been a motor mouth all my life so I can go on and on if needed be). That mostly occurs when I have met someone new who is just a quiet person by their nature.

    That said I would never create awkward silence just to break social convention. In fact if I knew someone was doing that on purpose I'd get quite pissed at them and likely call them out and not allow them to do it anymore. I don't well tollerate people who try to make people uncomfortable on purpose.
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  3. #3
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    In the Portuguese Man-of-War's open Pacific biome, there are two marine animals resistant to its sting.

    One is the fish Nomeus. Nomeus protects itself from the tentacles of the man-of-war with a film of mucus. It seeks shelter among the tentacles, eating bits of the man-of-war's food it scavenges from the tentacles.

    The other is the loggerhead (or leatherback? I'm not certain) turtle. He just ignores the sting. And feasts on the coelenterates regularly.

    Up till now I was gonna say you were Nomeus and I was the turtle because you feed off of the silence and the turtle just ignores it, but I just realized the turtle literally eats the man-of-war. I don't do that to silence, I just ignore it.

  4. #4
    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
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    @Hard I wouldn't say that I'm trying to create discomfort, it's just that I feel like it should be acceptable just to stand and look at one another in silence. The awkwardness comes in the unenlightened expectation that this shouldn't be.

  5. #5
    ndovjtjcaqidthi
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    I hate when I'm the cause of awkward silence, lol.

    Seldom does it happen, though.

  6. #6
    I could do things Hard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qlip View Post
    @Hard I wouldn't say that I'm trying to create discomfort, it's just that I feel like it should be acceptable just to stand and look at one another in silence. The awkwardness comes in the unenlightened expectation that this shouldn't be.
    I don't think it's unreasonable at all. If the vast majority of the group shows discomfort by your actions, then you are in the minority and should conform. It's well expected that within groups everyone behaves in social situations that maximize the enjoyment and comfort of everyone. If one person is the anomoly, then that's how it is and either the group will try and make them feel better. If they don't it's on the invidual to deal with it fairly. By making everyone uncomfortable because of a single opinion that others don't share is unfair and shouldn't be stomached.

    Just because you think it's abnormal and shouldn't be that way, doesn't mean that everyone should be expected to deal with it.
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  7. #7
    Blind Guardian Haven's Avatar
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    I fart awkward silence
    {The Diplomat}
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    Meow.

  8. #8
    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hard View Post
    I don't think it's unreasonable at all. If the vast majority of the group shows discomfort by your actions, then you are in the minority and should conform. It's well expected that within groups everyone behaves in social situations that maximize the enjoyment and comfort of everyone. If one person is the anomoly, then that's how it is and either the group will try and make them feel better. If they don't it's on the invidual to deal with it fairly. By making everyone uncomfortable because of a single opinion that others don't share is unfair and shouldn't be stomached.

    Just because you think it's abnormal and shouldn't be that way, doesn't mean that everyone should be expected to deal with it.
    Shoulds are empty if you do them all the time and they work for you. Conform, minority, anamoly, abnormal, expected, this mild tirade is the like the antithesis to e4 existence.

  9. #9
    I could do things Hard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qlip View Post
    Shoulds are empty if you do them all the time and they work for you. Conform, minority, anamoly, abnormal, expected, this mild tirade is the like the antithesis to e4 existence.
    Yeah, and I think it's a load of B.S.

    It's not right, nor logical, to make a group (many) of people uncomfortable, with intention, when you (single) are uncomfortable.
    MBTI: ExxJ tetramer
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    External Perception: Nohari and Johari


  10. #10
    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hard View Post
    Yeah, and I think it's a load of B.S.

    It's not right, nor logical, to make a group (many) of people uncomfortable, with intention, when you (single) are uncomfortable.
    Why? What is harmful about discomfort in the real scheme of things?

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