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I eat awkward silence.

Qlip

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You know those awkward empty spaces in conversation. You know when you're the new odd man out in the group, and people are expecting you to break some ice, introduce yourself, explain your presence? Do you know those times at parties where everybody is talking, laughing, but you're standing awkwardly in the middle of the room, all by yourself, and people notice.

I do this thing where sometimes I just stretch the awkwardness out as long as possible, I just stand and stare while people shift around uncomfortably. I think I find it compromising to react to social expectations when I don't feel like doing something. And I find the reactions interesting and occasionally enlightening.

I'm guessing it's a definite SO last thing or maybe other 4s identify with this?
 

á´…eparted

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"Awkward silence" largely doesn't bother me. That said, in hindsight I will see myself avoiding it in situations by doing a lot of talking (I am very talkative and have been a motor mouth all my life so I can go on and on if needed be). That mostly occurs when I have met someone new who is just a quiet person by their nature.

That said I would never create awkward silence just to break social convention. In fact if I knew someone was doing that on purpose I'd get quite pissed at them and likely call them out and not allow them to do it anymore. I don't well tollerate people who try to make people uncomfortable on purpose.
 

Cygnus

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In the Portuguese Man-of-War's open Pacific biome, there are two marine animals resistant to its sting.

One is the fish Nomeus. Nomeus protects itself from the tentacles of the man-of-war with a film of mucus. It seeks shelter among the tentacles, eating bits of the man-of-war's food it scavenges from the tentacles.

The other is the loggerhead (or leatherback? I'm not certain) turtle. He just ignores the sting. And feasts on the coelenterates regularly.

Up till now I was gonna say you were Nomeus and I was the turtle because you feed off of the silence and the turtle just ignores it, but I just realized the turtle literally eats the man-of-war. I don't do that to silence, I just ignore it.
 

Qlip

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[MENTION=20829]Hard[/MENTION] I wouldn't say that I'm trying to create discomfort, it's just that I feel like it should be acceptable just to stand and look at one another in silence. The awkwardness comes in the unenlightened expectation that this shouldn't be.
 
N

ndovjtjcaqidthi

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I hate when I'm the cause of awkward silence, lol.

Seldom does it happen, though.
 

á´…eparted

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[MENTION=20829]Hard[/MENTION] I wouldn't say that I'm trying to create discomfort, it's just that I feel like it should be acceptable just to stand and look at one another in silence. The awkwardness comes in the unenlightened expectation that this shouldn't be.

I don't think it's unreasonable at all. If the vast majority of the group shows discomfort by your actions, then you are in the minority and should conform. It's well expected that within groups everyone behaves in social situations that maximize the enjoyment and comfort of everyone. If one person is the anomoly, then that's how it is and either the group will try and make them feel better. If they don't it's on the invidual to deal with it fairly. By making everyone uncomfortable because of a single opinion that others don't share is unfair and shouldn't be stomached.

Just because you think it's abnormal and shouldn't be that way, doesn't mean that everyone should be expected to deal with it.
 

Haven

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I fart awkward silence
 

Qlip

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I don't think it's unreasonable at all. If the vast majority of the group shows discomfort by your actions, then you are in the minority and should conform. It's well expected that within groups everyone behaves in social situations that maximize the enjoyment and comfort of everyone. If one person is the anomoly, then that's how it is and either the group will try and make them feel better. If they don't it's on the invidual to deal with it fairly. By making everyone uncomfortable because of a single opinion that others don't share is unfair and shouldn't be stomached.

Just because you think it's abnormal and shouldn't be that way, doesn't mean that everyone should be expected to deal with it.

Shoulds are empty if you do them all the time and they work for you. ;) Conform, minority, anamoly, abnormal, expected, this mild tirade is the like the antithesis to e4 existence.
 

á´…eparted

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Shoulds are empty if you do them all the time and they work for you. ;) Conform, minority, anamoly, abnormal, expected, this mild tirade is the like the antithesis to e4 existence.

Yeah, and I think it's a load of B.S.

It's not right, nor logical, to make a group (many) of people uncomfortable, with intention, when you (single) are uncomfortable.
 

Qlip

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Yeah, and I think it's a load of B.S.

It's not right, nor logical, to make a group (many) of people uncomfortable, with intention, when you (single) are uncomfortable.

Why? What is harmful about discomfort in the real scheme of things?
 

á´…eparted

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Why? What is harmful about discomfort in the real scheme of things?

That's irrelevant.

What you are applying a negative feeling to others that could be avoidable and is not needed, for the sole reason that you experienced a negative feeling. Again, it's bring a large group of people down on purpose with intention. It's not fair, selfish, and should not be done.
 

Qlip

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That's irrelevant.

What you are applying a negative feeling to others that could be avoidable and is not needed, for the sole reason that you experienced a negative feeling. Again, it's bring a large group of people down on purpose with intention. It's not fair, selfish, and should not be done.

The importance of something is irrelevant?! Hard, to live is discomfort, learning is discomfort, change is discomfort and inevitable. Discomfort brings good tidings, it's the breaking down of form to allow for new. Social discomfort is a silly thing to spend too much time worrying about.

The avoidance of discomfort without regards to the reason, the magnitude and importance is actually a big part of what is wrong with modern society.
 

Cygnus

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The importance of something is irrelevant?! Hard, to live is discomfort, learning is discomfort, change is discomfort and inevitable. Discomfort brings good tidings, it's the breaking down of form to allow for new. Social discomfort is a silly thing to spend too much time worrying about.

The avoidance of discomfort without regards to the reason, the magnitude and importance is actually a big part of what is wrong with modern society.

preach it brotha
 

Cygnus

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The importance of something is irrelevant?! Hard, to live is discomfort, learning is discomfort, change is discomfort and inevitable. Discomfort brings good tidings, it's the breaking down of form to allow for new. Social discomfort is a silly thing to spend too much time worrying about.

The avoidance of discomfort without regards to the reason, the magnitude and importance is actually a big part of what is wrong with modern society.

preach it brotha
 

á´…eparted

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The importance of something is irrelevant?! Hard, to live is discomfort, learning is discomfort, change is discomfort and inevitable. Discomfort brings good tidings, it's the breaking down of form to allow for new. Social discomfort is a silly thing to spend too much time worrying about.

The avoidance of discomfort without regards to the reason, the magnitude and importance is actually a big part of what is wrong with modern society.

Yeah you don't get it, or you do but refuse to let go of your own personal convictions despite it. I already explained to you what's wrong with what you're doing in as simple of terms as I could.
 

Qlip

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Yeah you don't get it, or you do but refuse to let go of your own personal convictions despite it. I already explained to you what's wrong with what you're doing in as simple of terms as I could.

Ditto. But the fact of the matter is, I don't need you to think I'm right. It would be nice, though.
 

á´…eparted

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No, actually I do understand what you're saying. It is important to analyze why something makes individuals uncomfortable. In the context of this, most people are not used to awkward silence because it is a social condition that forms by virtue of the modern world. I agree that people should learn to become more comfortable with it. I have actually taught myself to be at ease with it as I felt it was a flaw I wanted to correct.

What you are doing, is different. You stated that you are made uncomfortable with having to comform, so you take your discomfort, and force others to deal with a different form of it. Without context, understanding, or explaining the reason behind it. It's. Not. Fair. I already pointed out how that is and I don't want to reexplain the logic of it. Your personal emotions do not trump the emotions of a group. End of story. To subvert that is wrong.
 

Qlip

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No, actually I do understand what you're saying. It is important to analyze why something makes individuals uncomfortable. In the context of this, most people are not used to awkward silence because it is a social condition that forms by virtue of the modern world. I agree that people should learn to become more comfortable with it. I have actually taught myself to be at ease with it as I felt it was a flaw I wanted to correct.

What you are doing, is different. You stated that you are made uncomfortable with having to comform, so you take your discomfort, and force others to deal with a different form of it. Without context, understanding, or explaining the reason behind it. It's. Not. Fair. I already pointed out how that is and I don't want to reexplain the logic of it. Your personal emotions do not trump the emotions of a group. End of story. To subvert that is wrong.

And to state it more plainly, my personal emotions do trump the emotions of the group in certain instances by me deciding it so, period, de facto. Me deciding it so has a lot to do with the actual harm involved in action or unaction, to reiterate, social discomfort is not harm, at least not harm worth me recognizing.

The group does not get to decide things about me, or you, unless you allow them to. I'm sure many enough would have me think that me not giving them the money out of my wallet is an grievous offense.
 

á´…eparted

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And to state it more plainly, my personal emotions do trump the emotions of the group in certain instances by me deciding it so, period, de facto. Me deciding it so has a lot to do with the actual harm involved in action or unaction, to reiterate, social discomfort is not harm, at least not harm worth me recognizing.

The group does not get to decide things about me, or you, unless you allow them to. I'm sure many enough would have me think that me not giving them the money out of my wallet is an grievous offense.

Yeah, and this isn't one of those instances. Your example isn't comparable either.

You're being selfish, and a typical E4. You're not going to bend, your personal feelings are just too important. I'm done.
 

Qlip

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Yeah, and this isn't one of those instances. Your example isn't comparable either.

You're being selfish, and a typical E4. You're not going to bend, your personal feelings are just too important. I'm done.

Oh, I am definitely willing to admit to being a typical human being. I find it an interesting world we live in where to call someone selfish is an accusation, to admit to being selfish is an incriminating confession, and to deny it is a lie.
 
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