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  1. #21
    Senior Member
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    In Russia, awkward silence eat you

  2. #22
    Entertaining Cracker five sounds's Avatar
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    You hem me in -- behind and before;
    you have laid your hand upon me.
    Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

  3. #23
    ndovjtjcaqidthi
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    Quote Originally Posted by five sounds View Post
    Hey, why don't I just go eat some hay, make things out of clay, lay by the bay? I just may! What'd ya say?

  4. #24
    garbage
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    Yup. Gap-filling is just a thing that people generally do, usually instinctually. If you want someone to expound, just be silent.

    The only resources I can readily find on the subject involve how to fill the gaps, rather than why we do. Kinda speaks to how important it seems to be. One of the only "why"s I can find involves how hesitation just makes one look stupid. For some reason.

    The public speaking clubs I've belonged to preach exactly the opposite, though. They regard "ahs" and "uhms" as bad things and hold the notion that, if someone needs to collect their thoughts, they're "allowed" to do so silently.
    Quote Originally Posted by Qlip View Post
    Oh, I am definitely willing to admit to being a typical human being. I find it an interesting world we live in where to call someone selfish is an accusation, to admit to being selfish is an incriminating confession, and to deny it is a lie.
    Same. It's just seen as virtuous to not fulfill one's own needs. It's bollocks.

  5. #25
    Undisciplined Starry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qlip View Post
    You know those awkward empty spaces in conversation. You know when you're the new odd man out in the group, and people are expecting you to break some ice, introduce yourself, explain your presence? Do you know those times at parties where everybody is talking, laughing, but you're standing awkwardly in the middle of the room, all by yourself, and people notice.

    I do this thing where sometimes I just stretch the awkwardness out as long as possible, I just stand and stare while people shift around uncomfortably. I think I find it compromising to react to social expectations when I don't feel like doing something. And I find the reactions interesting and occasionally enlightening.

    I'm guessing it's a definite SO last thing or maybe other 4s identify with this?
    I made reference to the fact...in the FP City thread...that my late-teens-early-adulthood group of friends consisted primarily of FPs (heavy on the ENFPs)...and quite often when we were out at a bar or club or party...we would have contests complete with elaborate score-keeping and place winners of who could generate the most social awkwardness.

    To this day I am unable to see those 'awkward silences' as anything other than a beautiful opportunity to take things to the 'next level of awkward.' I'm feeling so sentimental again...

  6. #26
    ndovjtjcaqidthi
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    Quote Originally Posted by Starry View Post
    I made reference to the fact...in the FP City thread...that my late-teens-early-adulthood group of friends consisted primarily of FPs (heavy on the ENFPs)...and quite often when we were out at a bar or club or party...we would have contests complete with elaborate score-keeping and place winners of who could generate the most social awkwardness.
    This sounds extremely fun.

    I guess I should have been more specific. I love fucking around and making things terribly awkward for people.

    It's when I don't mean to make things awkward that I hate. Haha.

  7. #27
    Undisciplined Starry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nights and Days View Post
    This sounds extremely fun.

    I guess I should have been more specific. I love fucking around and making things terribly awkward for people.

    It's when I don't mean to make things awkward that I hate. Haha.
    Do you mean to make things extremely awkward for me with that avatar?

  8. #28
    ndovjtjcaqidthi
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    Quote Originally Posted by Starry View Post
    Do you mean to make things extremely awkward for me with that avatar?
    Nope!

    Why? Does it?..

  9. #29
    Stansmith
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    On a smaller scale (like a lunchroom table, for example), I'll usually just say 'hey', sit down, listen, laugh along to their stories, and throw in a few 'quips' or anecdotes every now and then when I'm in the mood. I don't put much stock into these interactions.

  10. #30
    Undisciplined Starry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nights and Days View Post
    Nope!

    Why? Does it?..
    yes.

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