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  1. #11
    Entertaining Cracker five sounds's Avatar
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    gotta represent for the 2w1 i guess!

    as a sexual 2, i find it's most often expressed on an individual basis. when i see a need in someone, i get a lot of joy out of giving them something custom-tailored to them. like picking a movie i think they'll like, finding music that fits their taste, food prepared a special way, a certain kind of humor that i think will cheer them up. that kinda thing. i try to avoid over-the-top gestures usually. try to make it look as unintentional as i can, to like not cause embarrassment i guess.

    a bit of a metaphor: i'm a winker. i wink at people (often not consciously, and sometimes in inappropriate situations) when i like want them to know i 'get' them, or want to like establish a special connection. i used to do it ALL the time when i was a waitress. wink at someone who asked for something, thinking like, "oh i know just what you mean, i'll get that for you, it's gonna be so good." or something. not always the best mode of communication with a man out with his girlfriend or something. but, the way i think of my 2-fix is exactly that. little winks at people. personal encouragements or little 'thinking of you' things that i do for others. i give a lot of reputation comments on here, and i feel like it's definitely related. i don't want to like broadcast it, i just wanna give a little wink on the DL.
    You hem me in -- behind and before;
    you have laid your hand upon me.
    Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

  2. #12
    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
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    I guess as a 4, I don't really want to type this because it identifies myself as a category. As an extravert, I know my environment effects me, so I actively push away and avoid people and environments that hem in my identity. I guess my heart type makes me pretty reactive.

    On the less reactive side, I have one question that is constantly on my mind, what am I at my core, and how can I bring it out authentically into the world?

    I am so very self absorbed. I became so self absorbed at one point in my life that I got turned inside out. Now I see everything, people things and ideas as just facets of myself. The teapot in front of me is a projection of my mind of what it does for me, the girl I'm interested is an expression of my desire, my father is an embodiment of my memories. Your pain is my pain in my past. It feels selfish, but it also feels connecting. I do make effort to allow things to become new things to me.

    Because of this, I'm highly unaware on a certain level of how others receive me. The audience that I play to is me.

  3. #13
    Senior Member Sanjuro's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stansmith View Post
    I'm curious to hear whether any of you think what I described here was 4w3-ish...I still think 3w4 suits me better. I seem to lack any of the outward, dramatic flair that's typically associated with 4w3s.
    I guess my question would be, what makes you think 3w4 over 4w3?

    If you currently type as 6 anyway, it's possible that you have a very strong 3-connection as well as a 4-fix. It could be 4w5 instead of 4w3 if you feel you lack certain 4w3 attributes.

  4. #14
    Stansmith
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sanjuro View Post
    I guess my question would be, what makes you think 3w4 over 4w3?

    If you currently type as 6 anyway, it's possible that you have a very strong 3-connection as well as a 4-fix. It could be 4w5 instead of 4w3 if you feel you lack certain 4w3 attributes.
    It's hard to articulate...I guess have a tendency to introject traits that I admire in others, which I think is more 3-ish in nature. I also have less of a direct concern with whether the image I present is artificial or genuine than 4(-fixer)s do on average, although I can certainly feel ashamed of/disgusted with myself at times.

    Hmm..interesting point. 4w5 seems unlikely though; I'm definitely somewhere between 4 and 3 in terms of my image and self-perception.

  5. #15
    Senior Member Sanjuro's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stansmith View Post
    It's hard to articulate...I guess have a tendency to introject traits that I admire in others, which I think is more 3-ish in nature. I also have less of a direct concern with whether the image I present is artificial or genuine than 4(-fixer)s do on average, although I can certainly feel ashamed of/disgusted with myself at times.

    Hmm..interesting point. 4w5 seems unlikely though; I'm definitely somewhere between 4 and 3 in terms of my image and self-perception.
    Good luck figuring it out! Ask anything.

  6. #16
    Stansmith
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sanjuro View Post
    Good luck figuring it out! Ask anything.
    Thanks... I'm actually starting to consider a 4w3-fix, as I've come to realize I'm painfully aware of the potential fraudulence of my presentation; I find it embarrassing and inherently alienating as opposed to a source of shameless pride. The 3 in me represents aspects of my personality that I'd rather didn't exist; at it's best, it can manifest as a healthy sense of autonomy...at it's worst, it takes the form of an arrogance and sense of importance that's completely undeserved (although thankfully, largely kept to myself). I'm not comfortable with transcendence or any sort of praise...I always find myself wanting to be brought down a couple notches when it happens.

  7. #17
    Aspie Idealist TaylorS's Avatar
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    I want to be and look like a kind, helpful, generous person. So, a 2-fix?
    Autistic INFP


  8. #18
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    3w4 -- I subscribe to the "fake it til you make it"/"act like X until you become X" school of self-improvement. I always have a million projects going at the same time -- always something to accomplish, something to add to the resume -- and idleness feels like death. I have a bit of a vain streak, and can't help but fish for compliments when I get something done that I'm really proud of. (I try to make this come across as childlike enthusiasm and not snooty arrogance.)

    I typed myself with a 4 wing instead of a 2 wing because I don't really care about blowing people's minds, necessarily, but I do tend to be very into the 4-ish idea of artistic "authenticity" in how I present myself, how I dress, etc. At the same time, that leads to a persistent feeling that, internally, I am not nearly as good, competent, "cool", etc, as I come across.

    (Not sure if I was able to separate my 1 and 7 fixes from the above.)


    Edit: Was just talking to another forum member the other day about trifixes as stacked coping mechanisms. With 3w4 being the last of them, I described it as covering up the mess that my 7 coping mechanism would have made -- that is, postponing things, stifling negative feelings with distracting and hedonistic fluff -- by making it look like I never did anything wrong.
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  9. #19
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    4 double wing sx-so = a non-stop push and pull between introverting and retreating to my cocoon, away from the painful world where I can study it from afar to increase my understanding and a need to perform, generate a safe haven of beauty and entertainment and a need to pull others in. A subtle undertone of 'nobody understands me ' is a constant companion which can range from feeling slightly elitist and queen-like to feeling utterly broken and unworthy.

    Most of all there is the need to look at the world like a canvas that never stops evolving and to influence that canvas and add the unique touches that could make it a master piece - the world around you, the things that inhabit it and especially *YOU* become and expression of beauty, originality and well, art.
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  10. #20
    metamorphosing Flâneuse's Avatar
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    I think my heart fix is 4w3, but heavy-winged 3w4 is possible too. My inner 4w3 is less developed than most core 4s my age would be; it's sort of like a teenage 4 with exaggerated negative qualities.

    I relate to the 4's core fear of lacking an identity or personal significance, and having 9 as my core type turns it into a tug-of-war between actually being more comfortable with merging with others, with NOT creating and asserting a strong individual identity versus despising these 9-ish tendencies in myself and feeling a sense of inner deficiency because of it. When I go to 4w3, I rebel against my self-erasing tendencies; I try hard to listen to myself, I allow myself to sink into my emotions (sometimes to the point of self-indulgence), I sometimes feel the compulsion to express what I feel even when it's awkward (like right now), I have a preoccupation with my own uniqueness or the lack thereof (special snowflake syndrome), and I view myself as somehow exalted above most people as a defense mechanism against deeper feelings of inferiority. (I hate admitting that.)
    The feeling of being exalted comes from my identification with an ideal self that exaggerates the qualities I like about myself, romanticizes what I dislike (tries to turn something negative into something interesting and beautiful), and downplays what I'm truly ashamed of. This method backfires, though; my underlying feelings of inferiority only increase when it sinks in how different I am from my ideal self. This ideal self is like a mirage - shifting and substanceless, but realistic enough to make me reach for it in vain. I'm working on trying to develop naturally by growing into or becoming my true self (I'm still trying to figure out what that is, exactly), rather than having a preconceived idea of what I should be that actually impedes genuine development.

    This overlaps with the Sx part of my stacking and dominant Fi, but I often have the need for some emotional intensity and complexity. (I am a 9, though, so too much has the opposite effect and causes me to shut down and numb out.) I'd rather feel "emotionally tethered" to my life, to let my experiences sink in and reverberate, rather than feeling like my experiences just hit a hard outer shell and bounce off, which is how I feel when I'm numb. For me, life is most beautiful when I'm connected to it (to a degree; everyone needs to filter out some things to stay sane) rather than emotionally insular, and when my feelings are more like a kaleidoscope rather than a monochrome. Even feeling monochromatic happiness, though nice for a while, starts to feel stifling.

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