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  1. #1
    Senior Member NK258's Avatar
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    Default which type is the most/least forgiving ?

    I was thinking about how in my experience, I find men less forgiving. But then I thought this might be due to the "types" of men I'm generally attracted to. Of course, if the guy doesn't acknowledge he's angry, represses it or denies it, he can't really forgive me. And if they do, they generally resent me, or hate me. I'm probably on a few "black lists" and I might have a voodoo doll or two with my name on it.

    So I'm curious, what types are less apt to forgive ?

    What types forgive more readily ?

    Or is this an issue not related to type necessarily ?


    Now know that it's not like I wake up in the morning and say, "hmmm. I think I'm gonna be a jerk face today. That sounds like fun!" .. no. I don't do that. And quite frankly, I have a really hard time believing ANYONE wakes up thinking it'll be fun to be an asshole. I think we all are who we are regardless of health and/or awareness level and it's nothing personal at the end of the day.

    But, for the sake of curiosity, let's say someone does something and they aren't aware and you're hurt but realize they are now aware ... I personally like to forgive people. It makes me feel closer to them to see them grow. And like wise if they were to forgive me for my "human-ness" ...

    But I realize not all types think the same ...


    So do you think this would be more MBTI in factoring a person's capacity to forgive and not clench to resentment ? Or enneagram ? And if so .. which types are more or less apt to forgive ?

    I'm not talking about the pretend forgiving where passive aggressive dynamic ensues. I'm talking about REAL forgiveness from the heart or what have you ...
    6w7 Sx/Sp (621 or 612. Same diff :p).

  2. #2
    Senior Member Alea_iacta_est's Avatar
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    Of course every person is different within each type, but it seems to be that these types are more likely to be unforgiving.

    MBTI: Types with Si possibly, then Ni, due to the focus on past events.

    Enneagram: 8, 1, 6 predominantly, then 3, 4, 5, then 9, 2, 7.

  3. #3
    Senior Member NK258's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alea_iacta_est View Post
    Of course every person is different within each type, but it seems to be that these types are more likely to be unforgiving.

    MBTI: Types with Si possibly, then Ni, due to the focus on past events.

    Enneagram: 8, 1, 6 predominantly, then 3, 4, 5, then 9, 2, 7.
    Yeah ... Si. And every enng I've ever been drawn to .. lol!

    Nice.

    Well thank you.

    I hadn't thought about the Si factor before but I thought most these might be the case.
    6w7 Sx/Sp (621 or 612. Same diff :p).

  4. #4
    ndovjtjcaqidthi
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    I'm very unforgiving.

  5. #5
    Senior Member NK258's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nights and Days View Post
    I'm very unforgiving.
    But why ?

    You don't have to answer that. I'm just curious because I don't understand.
    6w7 Sx/Sp (621 or 612. Same diff :p).

  6. #6
    Senior Member Alea_iacta_est's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nights and Days View Post
    I'm very unforgiving.
    We share something in common on that point.

    Perhaps it is due to your inner truth-teller?

  7. #7
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    I find 3's 1's and 6's to be the least forgiving, followed by 8's 2's 4's and finally 5 7 9 as most forgiving.

  8. #8
    ndovjtjcaqidthi
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alea_iacta_est View Post
    We share something in common on that point.

    Perhaps it is due to your inner truth-teller?
    Perhaps.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Alea_iacta_est's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NK258 View Post
    Yeah ... Si. And every enng I've ever been drawn to .. lol!

    Nice.

    Well thank you.

    I hadn't thought about the Si factor before but I thought most these might be the case.
    I expect unforgiveness to manifest especially in ISFJs more than other types, but again that is a stereotype.

    I imagine:
    Fe: "Oh, hello again."
    Si: Sever contact with this person immediately. Don't you remember what happened last time, do you want to go through that experience again?
    Fe: *bullshit-disguise/better-things-to-do mode activated*

  10. #10
    WhoCares
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    I'm a forgiving person but I dont forget. I forgive in that I dont want that experience to hold more sovereignty over me than necessary therefore I will not hold onto it. I dont hang onto negative feelings or recrimination nor do I plot veangeance. But I do not forget this person's less desirable characteristic and am wary of them forevermore. If it is someone who had a close relationship with me, they are now on the outer. No more intimacy, just benign acquaintances now.

    I would like to believe that people grow and change, experience tells me however that they rarely do. Forgiveness of a foible in todays society is less an opportunity to grow and more an invitation to the same behaviour repeating itself. I grow through the experience as much as I can but I dont keep the vulnerability open any longer. Its very much a one shot process with me. Once you prove to me you are untrustworthy I will not give you my trust ever again. I wont hate you, or snub you necessarily, but you will never have an opportunity to be close to me after that point.

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