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  1. #41
    untitled Chanaynay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tsunderes View Post
    In my opinion,either 1's or 8's are the least forgiving, in regard to different aspects.

    After those two it would have to be 3's,6's,5's,and 4's residing in limbo,so to speak.

    I feel the most forgiving types are 9's and 2's.
    And in your world 7s transcend the human condition so they're exempt from mere mortal concepts such as contempt and forgiveness? Or are they just a myth and don't exist?

    The world may never know.
    7w6 - 2w3 - 8w7 sx/so


  2. #42
    LadyLazarus
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chanaynay View Post
    And in your world 7s transcend the human condition so they're exempt from mere mortal concepts such as contempt and forgiveness? Or are they just a myth and don't exist?

    The world may never know.
    Haha,oops sorry forgot you guys,I knew something was missing...
    You are also in the "limbo" group,along with the Lochness,Bigfoot,and my faith in humanity.

    Seriously though,I apologize to all the 7's,it was not my intent to exclude you....

  3. #43
    Senior Member Alea_iacta_est's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chanaynay View Post
    And in your world 7s transcend the human condition so they're exempt from mere mortal concepts such as contempt and forgiveness? Or are they just a myth and don't exist?

    The world may never know.
    There are no such people as 7s. There are only disintegrated 5s and integrated 1s.

  4. #44
    untitled Chanaynay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alea_iacta_est View Post
    There are no such people as 7s. There are only disintegrated 5s and integrated 1s.
    That's what you think... *disappears into the midnight fog never to be seen again*
    7w6 - 2w3 - 8w7 sx/so


  5. #45
    Entertaining Cracker five sounds's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tsunderes View Post
    Haha,oops sorry forgot you guys,I knew something was missing...
    You are also in the "limbo" group,along with the Lochness,Bigfoot,and my faith in humanity.

    Seriously though,I apologize to all the 7's,it was not my intent to exclude you....
    it's a test!

    i do not forgive you.
    You hem me in -- behind and before;
    you have laid your hand upon me.
    Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

  6. #46
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    MBTI - Pretty much all xxxJ types. INFJs may be the worst. The idealism gives no room for error in others (but they sure expect a lot of leeway for themselves . STJs are pretty nitpicky, but it doesn't seem like they are unforgiving in personal matters.

    My ISFJ mom is super forgiving though. But it seems like it can resurface later in the heat of the moment. I notice that with SFJs. I guess it's forgive but not forget, and then forget you forgave when mad about something vaguely related later on.

    I'm pretty bad with grudges & I'm INFP. I can tolerate & forgive a LOT, but there's this line of no return that exists. This is "cut someone out of my life" & "they are dead to me" level, or else I'd have let it go if we're still in contact.

    For ennneagram - the reactives, 4-6-8. 4 & 6 sounds the most bitter to me, of all the descriptions.

    1s often forgive if it's a part of their moral view to do so, but I don't know if they emotionally get past it as they think they do. They may do so in conscious action anyhow. The competency triad 1-3-5 will plow through emotional feelings if they're getting in the way of some objective (for 5s that seems to be the objective of not feeling).

    Most forgiving is 7-9-2, the positive outlook triad. I think 7s have to interact though. I notice they hold a grudge if no positive interaction occurs. It's amazing to me how quickly their grudge will lift with the tiniest effort from someone. The truly unforgiving are much harder to budge.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  7. #47
    Paranoid Android Video's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    MBTI - Pretty much all xxxJ types. INFJs may be the worst. The idealism gives no room for error in others (but they sure expect a lot of leeway for themselves .
    This hypocrisy leapt out at me as I read through the thread. I see myself as unforgiving, but noticed that I felt grated by posts of other people who claim to be the same way. At the core, forgiveness feels like a dignifying thing, and I leaned toward too forgiving as a schoolkid, but now something self-protective lies on top of that. It prompted reflection on how I interpret conflict situations.

    What I discovered was the imbalance is due to seeing others' transgressions in an overly self-absorbed light. When I am harmed, I focus on how it reflects on who I am. I am toxically averse to being that person who doesnt take responsibility for the course of their lives, so when something bad happens, my habit is to flee from that victim image and hold myself entirely responsible unless/until evidence proves otherwise. Rationally, most problems take two, but I assume that the other party's responsibility is their own business to calculate and process just like my part is mine. So, it's disproportinally about what I let happen, who I allowed under my skin, how I failed to foresee a hazard, what it all says about me. Fool me once, shame on me; fool me twice...happened a few times, never again.

    Looks like we cannot forgive anyone if we are unable to forgive ourselves. Definitely something to rethink in how I live.
    4w3 6w5 1w2 sx/sp ISFP

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    A lonely island where only what is permitted to move moves, becomes an ideal. Jung

    Kiss Kiss [johari] Bang Bang [nohari]
    Likes Ellyn liked this post

  8. #48
    Senior Member NK258's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Misty View Post
    I am toxically averse to being that person who doesnt take responsibility for the course of their lives, so when something bad happens, my habit is to flee from that victim image and hold myself entirely responsible unless/until evidence proves otherwise. Rationally, most problems take two, but I assume that the other party's responsibility is their own business to calculate and process just like my part is mine.
    This is me to the "T". The problem I have which might have to do with my enng though is once I've "understood" my part and thereby grown from the mistake or what have you .. I feel deep sorrow for hurting the other person, and hurt even more so they don't forgive me. Maybe it's shame, I don't know. Either way .. it sucks. lol!
    6w7 Sx/Sp (621 or 612. Same diff :p).

  9. #49
    Senior Member Sanjuro's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by valaki View Post
    What do you think about other enneagram types in terms of what gets forgiven and what doesn't? Especially interested in 4, 5, 7, 8 But I'm sure everyone would be interested in a summary/list of this if you do have some thoughts on it.
    Well, I a) don't have the time right now, and b) hesitate to speak of those types with whom I do not have extensive experience, but quickly-- I'd imagine it would revolve around someone making them face their worst fear. Like how I showed my stepfather I'd always be there to exacerbate his fears of anger and disruption of his inner peace, and he couldn't move beyond that. I guess for a 4, that would be about having been threatened with being seen as common or inauthentic, for 5s having been threatened with being made to feel stupid or useless, with 7s being threatened by someone who may expose their bullshit or face the things they'd prefer to avoid. (Other types, feel free to correct me).

    Things I personally am unforgiving of are betrayal--even if I eventually reconnect and interact civilly, some part of me will always be distanced from you, and if we get into an altercation, the first thing I'll remember is how you once betrayed me, and you will be reduced to that. Also, people who need to assert that I'm a poser who's secretly "weak" (one guy did that to me recently, and I swear I'm going to get him for that. I'll never forget the horror and humiliation I felt as he ravaged my psyche to prove his small-minded point. Yeah, he was also an 8, convinced I needed him to get my life in order).

  10. #50
    Paranoid Android Video's Avatar
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    @Sanjuro: being called out on inauthenticity, whether it turns out to be true or just an attack, is something I never forget. Move past the immediate situation, perhaps, but the voice moves with me. When the revelation is real, chapters of my life can end and begin by it.
    4w3 6w5 1w2 sx/sp ISFP

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    Melancholic Hufflepuff
    A lonely island where only what is permitted to move moves, becomes an ideal. Jung

    Kiss Kiss [johari] Bang Bang [nohari]

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