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  1. #1
    Member hornet's Avatar
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    Default Let us see what you guys can tell me about my relation to my Enneagram.

    So I've joined this site a little while ago.
    Then real life got a little crazy and only now I'm back posting.

    I've been trying to make some headway in Enneagram space as of late it is even become the new main focus of my blog.
    Having completed as for now my focus on the MBTI/Jungian types.

    I'm quite sure I'm a body type as my main driver seem to be anger.
    So far 9 fits the bill quite well as I have a tendency to zone out or narcotizise myself with video games and sugar.
    Sometimes I use alchohol as well, but it is something I have control over as opposed to the two others.
    I'm totally at their mercy at times.

    I usually blame everyone else for things that go wrong, but I've learned to take some responsibility.
    I seldom voice my blame, but lately I've worked on my assertiveness and abillity to voice my grievances.
    So far it have led to positive and negative issues in my life.
    Things that where a given like being liked can easily get disturbed.
    However people respect me more. I feel this manifest as an 8 wing.

    As for the head type I feel most at home in 5 as I often retreat to ponder things after having observed it.
    I don't like to be around when I'm fearful, I prefer to retreat.
    If I can't I will defend myself with lethal force and not consider the fact that someone might die before afterwards.
    Is this an indication of 6'ishness or is it to do with my imagined 8 wing? I dunno.

    As for image I dunno. I dislike the 2 quite a lot, I guess I can see a lot of behaviour in myself that level.
    Things I don't like to admit. I guess 3 is prominent too, but it seems that it kinda is dependent on things going well.
    As soon as things start falling to pieces the 3ness is gone.
    I've changed quite a lot in recent years going trough grueling mental ordeals to change similar issues.
    From a totally different POV.

    Feel free to watch vids of me on my blog if you think it will help typing me.

    http://exploremindtogether.blogspot.com

  2. #2
    Senior Member Alea_iacta_est's Avatar
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    The whole blame everything else for things that go wrong either sounds like the criticism of a 1 or the narcissism of a 3, and given the fact that you believe anger is your driving force, I would agree with 9w8 or 9w1.

    For the 6 question, do you find yourself defending yourself because you are trying to suppress fear or because you are confident in your strength and conviction?

  3. #3
    Member hornet's Avatar
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    Nah if I'm forced to defend myself I'm usually pretty afraid at first.
    Unless it is from a frame of anger. When I get angry I've had a tendency to go for peoples throat literally.
    So when I'm angry I draw on my strength, but I guess the fear comes first to trigger the anger.
    The anger isn't always there, there seem to be this gap where it could emerge or just get denied.
    As you might guess the denying is more prevalent. Only when I feel threatended enough do it emerge without fault.
    Or I have to tease it out on purpose something I've done a lot lately. Sort of artificially calling forth anger to deal with it.
    As for the fear, my usual reaction is to disengage. I guess I'm confident in my strength artificially trough massive training. (Martial arts)
    I sure as hell wasn't confident in my ability eariler in my life. But then I armed myself instead.
    I remember running after other kids with knives and improvised shooting tools.
    I usually just snapped, but when I realized it didn't go my way I was quickly a coward.
    I was quite fearful of social interaction for a significant period of my life, held back freaked out of the potential consequences.
    I didn't even manage to even play multiplayer online so big was the angst.
    This has changed a lot and I've pushed myself quite hard on this.
    I've actually forgotten about this until now.
    This was a period of social isolation for me partly because I switched schools and lost all my friends.
    Before that I was ordinarily social mostly, but I guess I was held back a bit by my parents religion.
    I've blamed both them and the religion plenty for all my troubles in life.
    Only after learning about Jungian types did I let up on everything under heaven and earth being their fault.
    When I get real low I lose all ability to participate in the world around me.
    I can barely get myself to eat and take care of my basic needs.

    Anyway back to the fear thing. I fear a lot of things and act like a coward towards it.
    I'm trying to suppress fear a lot, but lately I've pushed myself into new territory and I don't feel such terror as I once did.
    I seem to have gotten over a lot of it.
    I don't know if I'm really answering the question or just running around skirting the issue here.

    My conviction can be a bit shaky, it has often been easy to derail me.
    And my resistance to others will havn't been legendary to put it real simply.
    Unless I dig my heals in and become real angry and determined.
    With anger you can't budge me. I will have my will if I have to destroy everything that I can destroy to get it.
    But I've seldom been that angry, and the circumstances surrounding such events are a bit extreme and fucked up.

    Lately I feel I've come into my own and had an easier time holding my conviction with my own legitimate strenght.
    The last 8 months give or take. Fear has subsided quite a lot too. I think I've become much more mentally healthy overall.
    A lot of it is thanks to reading and pondering Jungian psychology.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Alea_iacta_est's Avatar
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    There is a counter-phobic 6 lurking in you somewhere, I'm willing to bet its your second fix and manifested as 6w5 (the theorist or troubleshooter)
    Methinks:
    9w8 - 6w5 - 3w2
    or
    9w1 - 6w5 - 3w2

  5. #5
    Member hornet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alea_iacta_est View Post
    There is a counter-phobic 6 lurking in you somewhere, I'm willing to bet its your second fix and manifested as 6w5 (the theorist or troubleshooter)
    Methinks:
    9w8 - 6w5 - 3w2
    or
    9w1 - 6w5 - 3w2
    I can see how that would be true.
    I've usually seen myself as an 5w6 on the second fix.
    But I guess I idolized the 5 a lot.
    Everyone want to be the "smart guy".

    As for the 9w1 vs the 9w8, if we follow the pattern of most resistance I certainly don't want to be a 1 nor a 2.
    So if we put 9w1-6w5-2w3 I would be ready to hide in disgust over myself.

    I've read somewhere that what you don't want to be has a lot of truth in it.
    When I think about it I've correcting myself a lot on what I believe to not be appropriate behaviour.
    I certainly don't follow my lust enough to warrant a real 8 wing.
    I really resent this part of me. I hate that I have to lose out just because of this.

    As for the 2 thing I can remember being plenty manipulative, trying to mould myself to the situation.
    To not have my own needs. I've suffered injuries and lots of pain due to this behaviour.
    I was plenty manipulative in my earlier years. And it was all about getting attention.
    Now that I'm aware of how unhelpful this is I'm pretty ashamed of that behaviour.
    I've stopped most of it, but I'm not hard to ask for a favour still.

    Dunno if this makes you think differently about it.
    It is stuff I find it real hard to put out there cause I really don't like it.
    And I've really tried hard to root it out.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Alea_iacta_est's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hornet View Post
    I can see how that would be true.
    I've usually seen myself as an 5w6 on the second fix.
    But I guess I idolized the 5 a lot.
    Everyone want to be the "smart guy".

    As for the 9w1 vs the 9w8, if we follow the pattern of most resistance I certainly don't want to be a 1 nor a 2.
    So if we put 9w1-6w5-2w3 I would be ready to hide in disgust over myself.

    I've read somewhere that what you don't want to be has a lot of truth in it.
    When I think about it I've correcting myself a lot on what I believe to not be appropriate behaviour.
    I certainly don't follow my lust enough to warrant a real 8 wing.
    I really resent this part of me. I hate that I have to lose out just because of this.

    As for the 2 thing I can remember being plenty manipulative, trying to mould myself to the situation.
    To not have my own needs. I've suffered injuries and lots of pain due to this behaviour.
    I was plenty manipulative in my earlier years. And it was all about getting attention.
    Now that I'm aware of how unhelpful this is I'm pretty ashamed of that behaviour.
    I've stopped most of it, but I'm not hard to ask for a favour still.

    Dunno if this makes you think differently about it.
    It is stuff I find it real hard to put out there cause I really don't like it.
    And I've really tried hard to root it out.
    Manipulation and deception is the hallmark of the average 3 (not healthy or unhealthy), especially 3w2, and that's in your trifix.

    Being a 5 isn't really about the intellectualism more so as it is about not relating to people well and being highly introverted. Most 5s also possess extreme anxiety issues as well (even though it is my second fix, the anxiety definitely carried over). It's also about discarding emotions in all forms to gain an objective viewpoint of the situation, which brings it together with the 8, who denies and hides emotions, and the 3 who suppresses emotions.

    Counter-phobic 6s are generally the hero types as pointed out in one of these threads around here. They possess the whole "conquer your fears and fight for the good of all" mentality whereas my type (and tritype) is more aligned to the villain or anti-hero, so that's a plus for you.

    6w5s especially are usually good at solving any problem using a troubleshooting method, i.e. here's the problem, and we can do x, y, or z to fix it, but if we use y, then we also have to use w... and so on, it's very methodical and scientific.

    One thing to note as well is that 9s, especially with an 8 wing often mistype as 5s due to their own introversion and possible intellectualism.

  7. #7
    Member hornet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alea_iacta_est View Post
    Manipulation and deception is the hallmark of the average 3 (not healthy or unhealthy), especially 3w2, and that's in your trifix.

    Being a 5 isn't really about the intellectualism more so as it is about not relating to people well and being highly introverted. Most 5s also possess extreme anxiety issues as well (even though it is my second fix, the anxiety definitely carried over). It's also about discarding emotions in all forms to gain an objective viewpoint of the situation, which brings it together with the 8, who denies and hides emotions, and the 3 who suppresses emotions.

    Counter-phobic 6s are generally the hero types as pointed out in one of these threads around here. They possess the whole "conquer your fears and fight for the good of all" mentality whereas my type (and tritype) is more aligned to the villain or anti-hero, so that's a plus for you.

    6w5s especially are usually good at solving any problem using a troubleshooting method, i.e. here's the problem, and we can do x, y, or z to fix it, but if we use y, then we also have to use w... and so on, it's very methodical and scientific.

    One thing to note as well is that 9s, especially with an 8 wing often mistype as 5s due to their own introversion and possible intellectualism.
    I see, well thank you very much. =D
    I will go for 9w8 6w5 3w2 for now.
    Only change from what I believed before is 6w5, but I guess it makes sense.
    If you have an opinion on my Instinctual variant I would appreciate that too, I can't seem to get them right in my mind.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Alea_iacta_est's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hornet View Post
    I see, well thank you very much. =D
    I will go for 9w8 6w5 3w2 for now.
    Only change from what I believed before is 6w5, but I guess it makes sense.
    If you have an opinion on my Instinctual variant I would appreciate that too, I can't seem to get them right in my mind.
    I'm no expert on instinctual variants, but I think your cp 6 adds more emphasis to sx, but I also think the 9w8 contributes to sp.
    To me at least, you seem sp/sx, but you might be able to pass for so/sx if your 3 fix is strong, or sx/sp. I personally think variants are harder to determine than type.

    Usually this is frowned upon, but here's a link to 9w8 core stackings. Read them all from an objective point of view and choose the one that seems the most like you, not the one you want to be or your ideal self.

    http://personalitycafe.com/type-9-fo...stackings.html

  9. #9
    Member hornet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alea_iacta_est View Post
    I'm no expert on instinctual variants, but I think your cp 6 adds more emphasis to sx, but I also think the 9w8 contributes to sp.
    To me at least, you seem sp/sx, but you might be able to pass for so/sx if your 3 fix is strong, or sx/sp. I personally think variants are harder to determine than type.

    Usually this is frowned upon, but here's a link to 9w8 core stackings. Read them all from an objective point of view and choose the one that seems the most like you, not the one you want to be or your ideal self.

    http://personalitycafe.com/type-9-fo...stackings.html
    Sp/Sx sounds the only likely from this.
    My sense of style have always been a bit wacked.
    Nature is a central thing for me, animals too especially.
    I often stop and watch birds, squirrels etc. Or just watch the threes move or the ocean swell.
    I often break social norms to everyones chagrin.
    I like to keep my lifestyle simple, I've several times in my life thrown away most of my possesions.
    Yup romance is my weak point. A big storm.
    I'm real low maintenance as a partner that is true.

    Super big thanks! You have just solved a big mystery for me.
    LOL

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