Adapting your confrontation style to another person's: what is this reminiscent with?

[The Great One]

Ya, fuck em all. Fuck em to hell and back, then fuck em again. Laugh in their faces when they complain about it! PLEASE NO MAN.

That's right.

Yeah, that's probably good advice

 

[The Great One]

Ya, fuck em all. Fuck em to hell and back, then fuck em again. Laugh in their faces when they complain about it! PLEASE NO MAN.

That's right.

Yeah, that's probably good advice

 

[Chad of the OttomanEmpire]

If a person adopts their confrontation style to another person's in order to get along, what is this reminiscent with? So for example, if I am quarreling with an 8, then I will be much more assertive when dealing with them. Also, if I am dealing with a 9, then I won't approach the person with much force, and will be very gentle. If I am dealing with a 1, I will just act normal. Is this because of my 9 fix, or this Fe, or what?

Great One.

I recently figured out I am actually an ENTP and that I basically dont have a 3 wing at all. Consequently, hold what I said prior as invalid. I suppose that now my explanation for this behavior is Fe, though in your case, I am sure your 3 fix increases your ability to do this.

On another subject, how do you know you are not 8 fixed_ (there should be a question mark there, but my keyboard is wonky).

 

[The Great One]

Great One.

I recently figured out I am actually an ENTP and that I basically dont have a 3 wing at all. Consequently, hold what I said prior as invalid. I suppose that now my explanation for this behavior is Fe, though in your case, I am sure your 3 fix increases your ability to do this.

On another subject, how do you know you are not 8 fixed_ (there should be a question mark there, but my keyboard is wonky).

Umm...I'm not really that abrasive. I also don't enjoy confrontation that much. I suppose I could be 8 fixed, but I think I'm 9 fixed with a strong 8 wing. Why do you think I'm 8 fixed?

 

[OrangeAppled]

I wonder if it's a 3 fix + Fe thing. I'm noticing that Fi users tend to be unwavering and change for no one. This is probably because Fi always wants to be true to it's self and to it's values.

Ugh, not this oversimplification of Fi again.

I disagree, and we've had proof of this on this very board. There have been several threads where the majority of the participants were xxFPs, and were comfortable with a more "Fi style" of communication (a little more raw & personal). Then some Fe users come in & try to force their preferred style on us, because this manner is supposedly the "objectively right way" (not said, but implied). In reality, the majority preferred a different style & were comfortable in how the conversation was going. This is an example of Fe types NOT adapting but pushing others to adapt to a style they see as objective, which in this case, is actually their personal preference. Not being aware of when your personal preferences are just that & not universal standards is a Fe problem. Fe, in these cases, can strike me as some colonial nation coming in under the guise of "civilizing" a native people & end up destroying a rich culture & raping their land of natural resources.

I would say this is not type-related over all, but may have some slight Ne+Fi connection if you believe that Dario Nardi experiment which suggested ENFPs "mirror" the most & are also the most empathic thinkers. It looked to me like Feeling types in general "mirrored" regardless of Fi/Fe preference. I'd have to reference it again to be sure.

 

[Chad of the OttomanEmpire]

Umm...I'm not really that abrasive. I also don't enjoy confrontation that much. I suppose I could be 8 fixed, but I think I'm 9 fixed with a strong 8 wing. Why do you think I'm 8 fixed?

I don't necessarily think you are. That's your own quest to go on. However, I ruled out being influenced by type 8 for a long time, for reasons similar to what you mention--I dislike confrontation (but I'm just willing to do so if pushed). I don't see myself as "abrasive"--just kind of quiet and polite. Part of it's that I'm unaware of my effect on others, but most of it's just that I'm...well, quiet and polite. I know another ENTP 8 who says the same thing--the "soft touch".

If you'd like some observations on why I think it's possible for you, well first, I've noticed your energy meets mine. If I write something, you write back (which delights me, incidentally). I'm realizing that a lot of people don't do this--actually, they seem to find it annoying. When someone keeps pinging me back, I often discover they're 8-fixed. [MENTION=5418]Lady X[/MENTION] is a good example of this. I haven't really observed 9-fixers doing this; sometimes 1-fixers will, but with considerably less relish.

Second, you're a debator, not just in an ENTP way--which incidentally, is supposed to be the 638 archetype. You may not like confrontation, but your mind confronts others nonetheless. You ask the questions and say the things. This is hardly indicative, but--I remember what you said to DJ: "this is war, and a war I intend to win". As one chronically surrounded by 9s and 9-fixers, I have a difficult time imagining a single one of them phrasing their ideas in such a manner.

Third, what you said in your other thread--the mindset you have adopted under stress. We've got a similar story, and we have coped in similar ways. 9s can be tough and bitter at times, as many have pointed out. But, I'm wondering how much a 639 would fixate on these ideas, even if the 9 had a strong 8 wing? I'd say it's possible, but I'd question why?

Your last fix can sometimes be tricky to figure out. Mine came as a total surprise, but makes sense now that I know what it is.

Anyway, as I said, it's your journey, but I hope that's some food for thought.

 

[The Great One]

Ugh, not this oversimplification of Fi again.

I disagree, and we've had proof of this on this very board. There have been several threads where the majority of the participants were xxFPs, and were comfortable with a more "Fi style" of communication (a little more raw & personal). Then some Fe users come in & try to force their preferred style on us, because this manner is supposedly the "objectively right way" (not said, but implied). In reality, the majority preferred a different style & were comfortable in how the conversation was going. This is an example of Fe types NOT adapting but pushing others to adapt to a style they see as objective, which in this case, is actually their personal preference. Not being aware of when your personal preferences are just that & not universal standards is a Fe problem. Fe, in these cases, can strike me as some colonial nation coming in under the guise of "civilizing" a native people & end up destroying a rich culture & raping their land of natural resources.

I would say this is not type-related over all, but may have some slight Ne+Fi connection if you believe that Dario Nardi experiment which suggested ENFPs "mirror" the most & are also the most empathic thinkers. It looked to me like Feeling types in general "mirrored" regardless of Fi/Fe preference. I'd have to reference it again to be sure.

You've got it all wrong. I'm not saying that Fi users are wrong with their so called, "inability" to adapt to others. In fact, I respect them for this. I find that many Fe users come off as fake and not genuine for example.

I don't necessarily think you are. That's your own quest to go on. However, I ruled out being influenced by type 8 for a long time, for reasons similar to what you mention--I dislike confrontation (but I'm just willing to do so if pushed). I don't see myself as "abrasive"--just kind of quiet and polite. Part of it's that I'm unaware of my effect on others, but most of it's just that I'm...well, quiet and polite. I know another ENTP 8 who says the same thing--the "soft touch".

If you'd like some observations on why I think it's possible for you, well first, I've noticed your energy meets mine. If I write something, you write back (which delights me, incidentally). I'm realizing that a lot of people don't do this--actually, they seem to find it annoying. When someone keeps pinging me back, I often discover they're 8-fixed. [MENTION=5418]Lady X[/MENTION] is a good example of this. I haven't really observed 9-fixers doing this; sometimes 1-fixers will, but with considerably less relish.

Second, you're a debator, not just in an ENTP way--which incidentally, is supposed to be the 638 archetype. You may not like confrontation, but your mind confronts others nonetheless. You ask the questions and say the things. This is hardly indicative, but--I remember what you said to DJ: "this is war, and a war I intend to win". As one chronically surrounded by 9s and 9-fixers, I have a difficult time imagining a single one of them phrasing their ideas in such a manner.

Third, what you said in your other thread--the mindset you have adopted under stress. We've got a similar story, and we have coped in similar ways. 9s can be tough and bitter at times, as many have pointed out. But, I'm wondering how much a 639 would fixate on these ideas, even if the 9 had a strong 8 wing? I'd say it's possible, but I'd question why?

Your last fix can sometimes be tricky to figure out. Mine came as a total surprise, but makes sense now that I know what it is.

Anyway, as I said, it's your journey, but I hope that's some food for thought.

1) Wait are you saying that Lady X is 8 fixed? No, I'm not seeing that.

2) You do have a point when you say that 9 fixers don't tend to write back. I've noticed this as well. I HATE to lose anything and am VERY competitive. In fact, I would consider myself a punk ass bitch if I didn't write anything back.

3) You are right: when I am pushed, I do push back. One of the reasons why I avoid confrontation is because I have SO MUCH anger and SO MUCH rage pent up inside of me, that when someone pisses me off, I just want to explode on them automatically. I used to take anti-anxiety pills and I used to smoke weed just to calm me the fuck down. In my mind, I am always anxious and always angry. The problem is that I like to avoid confrontation because when I explode on people, I often times lose control and this is a problem. I scream at the top of my lungs at people and I often times want to fist fight people. This often times gets the cops called on me, or it gets me fired from jobs or thrown out of places. I have a hard time with confrontation because it seems like I have a hot and cold approach to confrontation: either I face someone head on and shut them down fully and entirely, or I just avoid confrontation in order to keep the peace. It's very hard for me to have a middle ground and this is my problem.

I'm not like a gut center type when it comes to confrontation though: I tend to analyze confrontation and I don't just ACT on it as a gut impulse. I especially like to weigh pros and cons. For instance, I recently posted a thread on not hitting on women at bars and clubs because I am afraid of getting beaten up. The truth is that I am not afraid of the confrontation itself but instead am afraid of experiencing physical pain. After all, I have this stupid gagging problem that keeps me from exercise. I feel like if I was able to exercise, then I would be much larger and much faster in a fight, which would minimize my chances of getting hurt in fight. So in case someone tried to fight me at a bar, I would first try to disarm the confrontation because I don't want to go to jail. However, if they persisted and I could prove in a court of law that I was defending myself, I would gladly beat the shit out of the other person. The funny thing is that I would enjoy it too. I really enjoy fist fighting after all, and it really makes me feel alive when I can actually win one. In my mind it's almost like I overpowered the other person with brute force and this always makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

I will say one thing in the case for a 9 fix though and that is that I often avoid confrontation for the sake of keeping friends. Often times I find that getting into a strong confrontation with friends loses friends for me, so I try to avoid this in order to keep that friend. However, when I do have a friend that is passive aggressive, won't tell me what's wrong in order to avoid confrontation, and won't argue with me then that often times pisses me off. I will say that if I have a friend that is an 9 fixer vs. one that is an 8 fixer, I will get along with the 8 fixer better though.

4) Also what mindset did you adopt under stress? I am curious? I don't know, maybe I am an 8 fixer. Who knows?

 

[Chad of the OttomanEmpire]

1) Wait are you saying that Lady X is 8 fixed? No, I'm not seeing that.

Well we talked about it on another thread, and she does identify with the 728 archetype. Her friends IRL seemed to think there was an 8-fix to her. I'll let you guys take that up with each other!

2) You do have a point when you say that 9 fixers don't tend to write back. I've noticed this as well. I HATE to lose anything and am VERY competitive. In fact, I would consider myself a punk ass bitch if I didn't write anything back.

Me too.

3) You are right: when I am pushed, I do push back. One of the reasons why I avoid confrontation is because I have SO MUCH anger and SO MUCH rage pent up inside of me, that when someone pisses me off, I just want to explode on them automatically. I used to take anti-anxiety pills and I used to smoke weed just to calm me the fuck down. In my mind, I am always anxious and always angry. The problem is that I like to avoid confrontation because when I explode on people, I often times lose control and this is a problem. I scream at the top of my lungs at people and I often times want to fist fight people. This often times gets the cops called on me, or it gets me fired from jobs or thrown out of places. I have a hard time with confrontation because it seems like I have a hot and cold approach to confrontation: either I face someone head on and shut them down fully and entirely, or I just avoid confrontation in order to keep the peace. It's very hard for me to have a middle ground and this is my problem.

I'm not like a gut center type when it comes to confrontation though: I tend to analyze confrontation and I don't just ACT on it as a gut impulse. I especially like to weigh pros and cons. For instance, I recently posted a thread on not hitting on women at bars and clubs because I am afraid of getting beaten up. The truth is that I am not afraid of the confrontation itself but instead am afraid of experiencing physical pain. After all, I have this stupid gagging problem that keeps me from exercise. I feel like if I was able to exercise, then I would be much larger and much faster in a fight, which would minimize my chances of getting hurt in fight. So in case someone tried to fight me at a bar, I would first try to disarm the confrontation because I don't want to go to jail. However, if they persisted and I could prove in a court of law that I was defending myself, I would gladly beat the shit out of the other person. The funny thing is that I would enjoy it too. I really enjoy fist fighting after all, and it really makes me feel alive when I can actually win one. In my mind it's almost like I overpowered the other person with brute force and this always makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

It sounds very possible. I can identify with what you're saying in much of this, actually. Other people are unknown quantities, and I a) don't want to get hurt, and b) know that I could actually wind up hurting someone else. I can tell you that the first thing about type 8 is self-interest. I've been in 1 fist fight precisely in my 30 years, and I simply didn't lash out like a maniac--I calculatingly threw my punches for maximum effect with minimum blood. With gut types, there's body-based reasoning, not irrational uncontrollable impulses.

Of course, 6s can be plenty feisty, too. There's always that.

I will say one thing in the case for a 9 fix though and that is that I often avoid confrontation for the sake of keeping friends. Often times I find that getting into a strong confrontation with friends loses friends for me, so I try to avoid this in order to keep that friend. However, when I do have a friend that is passive aggressive, won't tell me what's wrong in order to avoid confrontation, and won't argue with me then that often times pisses me off. I will say that if I have a friend that is an 9 fixer vs. one that is an 8 fixer, I will get along with the 8 fixer better though.

Do you feel the need to "dig" to get the truth out of her? That would be 8ish rather than 9ish, which I think is more receptive to the other's state.

4) Also what mindset did you adopt under stress? I am curious? I don't know, maybe I am an 8 fixer. Who knows?

Well I wrote about it on your other thread about changing gut types--I've just become a cynical bitch who uses rage-filled aggression at the slightest hint of an offense because I'm just trying to survive and all and people can just get out my fucking way. Everyone else can just deal with it, I do not care. Even if they fire me, fuck it. And seeing exploitation everywhere, and withdrawing from everything cause I hate and fear it. Stuff like that.

Anyway. I'll be back tomorrow.

 

[OrangeAppled]

You've got it all wrong. I'm not saying that Fi users are wrong with their so called, "inability" to adapt to others. In fact, I respect them for this. I find that many Fe users come off as fake and not genuine for example.

Because it's inaccurate that Fi users don't have an ability to adapt. You really believe an IxFP e9 doesn't adapt? Seriously?
My point illustrated how Fe types don't necessarily adapt in reality - instead they can push others to adapt to some imaginary objective preference "everyone" shares.

 

[Evo]

If a person adopts their confrontation style to another person's in order to get along, what is this reminiscent with? So for example, if I am quarreling with an 8, then I will be much more assertive when dealing with them. Also, if I am dealing with a 9, then I won't approach the person with much force, and will be very gentle. If I am dealing with a 1, I will just act normal. Is this because of my 9 fix, or this Fe, or what?

I don't do this.

I have lower Fe than Fi.

It's cause of your Fe, and maybe could be a side effect of E6.

I wonder if it's a 3 fix + Fe thing. I'm noticing that Fi users tend to be unwavering and change for no one. This is probably because Fi always wants to be true to it's self and to it's values.

I tend to see this irl.

With my ISFJ friend. If I'm mad at him, he acts mad. If I'm happy around him, he is happy. That is just pure Fe.

Fe is usually mirroring in this way.

Fi will understand the other persons values and style, but normally wont be AS influenced.

Neither is better than the other though.

Actually, I've never had this experience. I work as a teacher, so that may be a mitigating factor. What happens with me is closer to me depersonalizing the crowd and droning away (and, come to think of it, this may stem from the dilemma you mentioned) but I've never noticed specifically what you say.

so ^ prolly

Do you also find that you don't like to address large groups because of this? Since I tend to change with each person to accommodate their needs, it is hard to address an entire group because I don't know how to act. Is this also a problem for you?

could be sx^

Well I'm good at addressing entire groups, it's just that it annoys me sometimes because you have to be so careful what you say. After all, in our politically correct world, damn near anything will offend people now.

But from the sounds of this ^, it's E6 and Fe

If I write something, you write back (which delights me, incidentally). I'm realizing that a lot of people don't do this--actually, they seem to find it annoying. When someone keeps pinging me back, I often discover they're 8-fixed. Lady X is a good example of this. I haven't really observed 9-fixers doing this; sometimes 1-fixers will, but with considerably less relish.

8's want feedback just like 6's, just for different reasons.

2) In fact, I would consider myself a punk ass bitch if I didn't write anything back.

^ May be a reason for arguing you have an 8 fix.

3) You are right: when I am pushed, I do push back. One of the reasons why I avoid confrontation is because I have SO MUCH anger and SO MUCH rage pent up inside of me, that when someone pisses me off, I just want to explode on them automatically. I used to take anti-anxiety pills and I used to smoke weed just to calm me the fuck down. In my mind, I am always anxious and always angry. The problem is that I like to avoid confrontation because when I explode on people, I often times lose control and this is a problem. I scream at the top of my lungs at people and I often times want to fist fight people. This often times gets the cops called on me, or it gets me fired from jobs or thrown out of places. I have a hard time with confrontation because it seems like I have a hot and cold approach to confrontation: either I face someone head on and shut them down fully and entirely, or I just avoid confrontation in order to keep the peace. It's very hard for me to have a middle ground and this is my problem.

I'm not like a gut center type when it comes to confrontation though: I tend to analyze confrontation and I don't just ACT on it as a gut impulse. I especially like to weigh pros and cons. For instance, I recently posted a thread on not hitting on women at bars and clubs because I am afraid of getting beaten up. The truth is that I am not afraid of the confrontation itself but instead am afraid of experiencing physical pain. After all, I have this stupid gagging problem that keeps me from exercise. I feel like if I was able to exercise, then I would be much larger and much faster in a fight, which would minimize my chances of getting hurt in fight. So in case someone tried to fight me at a bar, I would first try to disarm the confrontation because I don't want to go to jail. However, if they persisted and I could prove in a court of law that I was defending myself, I would gladly beat the shit out of the other person. The funny thing is that I would enjoy it too. I really enjoy fist fighting after all, and it really makes me feel alive when I can actually win one. In my mind it's almost like I overpowered the other person with brute force and this always makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

I normally choose to walk away and ignore over choosing flip my shit on someone. Mostly for the same reasons. I fight to kill. When I let my anger loose, I will win. Or die trying. Literally in some cases. I'm very hot/cold too, as you have stated above.

I will say one thing in the case for a 9 fix though and that is that I often avoid confrontation for the sake of keeping friends. Often times I find that getting into a strong confrontation with friends loses friends for me, so I try to avoid this in order to keep that friend.

Fe again here.

 

[The Great One]

[MENTION=18576]Sanjuro[/MENTION]

Well we talked about it on another thread, and she does identify with the 728 archetype. Her friends IRL seemed to think there was an 8-fix to her. I'll let you guys take that up with each other!

Again, I'm seriously doubting that she has an 8 fix.

Me too.

So you also would consider yourself a punk ass bitch if you didn't write anything back even though you have a definite 9 fix? Why?

Also are you are 9w8 fixer? I'm assuming so.

It sounds very possible. I can identify with what you're saying in much of this, actually. Other people are unknown quantities, and I a) don't want to get hurt, and b) know that I could actually wind up hurting someone else. I can tell you that the first thing about type 8 is self-interest. I've been in 1 fist fight precisely in my 30 years, and I simply didn't lash out like a maniac--I calculatingly threw my punches for maximum effect with minimum blood. With gut types, there's body-based reasoning, not irrational uncontrollable impulses.

Of course, 6s can be plenty feisty, too. There's always that.

So you also have fits of rage and also commonly feel rage? Can you please describe this in detail for me?

Do you feel the need to "dig" to get the truth out of her? That would be 8ish rather than 9ish, which I think is more receptive to the other's state.

It's not that necessarily. It's more the fact that I just really ATTACH strongly to some people and really don't want to offend them or lose them as a friend by getting in a fight with them. I have lost good friends of mine on more than one occasion because I got in a bad fight with them. Also, some social contacts are very important in life and can really help you to get jobs and whatnot and I wouldn't want to lose one of these key people in my life either.

Well I wrote about it on your other thread about changing gut types--I've just become a cynical bitch who uses rage-filled aggression at the slightest hint of an offense because I'm just trying to survive and all and people can just get out my fucking way. Everyone else can just deal with it, I do not care. Even if they fire me, fuck it. And seeing exploitation everywhere, and withdrawing from everything cause I hate and fear it. Stuff like that.

Anyway. I'll be back tomorrow.

Not me, I really don't want to lose a really good job because of my temper. High paying jobs are hard to come by these days.

 

[The Great One]

[MENTION=6561]OrangeAppled[/MENTION]

1) Yes, I could see how an Fi user whom is a 9 could adapt. I haven't seen it in real life, but I could easily imagine it.

2) Pushing others to adapt is more of an xxFJ thing than it is an Fe in the tertiary position thing.

 

[The Great One]

[MENTION=14015]Urarienev[/MENTION]

I don't do this.

I have lower Fe than Fi.

It's cause of your Fe, and maybe could be a side effect of E6.

Yeah I think it's related to Fe as well. How do you as a 9 fixer avoid confrontation though and smooth things over? I'm curious.

I tend to see this irl.

With my ISFJ friend. If I'm mad at him, he acts mad. If I'm happy around him, he is happy. That is just pure Fe.

Fe is usually mirroring in this way.

Fi will understand the other persons values and style, but normally wont be AS influenced.

Neither is better than the other though.

This is thought as well.

could be sx^

Well that and Americans are so offended by everything these days that it's hard to have a group conversation without offending someone.

^ May be a reason for arguing you have an 8 fix.

What? You wouldn't consider yourself weak for not writing anything back?

I normally choose to walk away and ignore over choosing flip my shit on someone. Mostly for the same reasons. I fight to kill. When I let my anger loose, I will win. Or die trying. Literally in some cases. I'm very hot/cold too, as you have stated above.

Are you 9w8 fixed? Also, why do you choose to walk away from confrontation? I'm curious.

Fe again here.

What? You don't do this?

 

[Evo]

Yeah I think it's related to Fe as well. How do you as a 9 fixer avoid confrontation though and smooth things over? I'm curious.

9 fix?

I think you mean 8 fix, right? I'm 683

I avoid confrontation by planning. My 7wing is STRONG. I avoid things all together by not getting myself into a situation if I can help it.

Now I will initiate confrontations though....well

they seem like confrontations to feelers...but I don't view them that way. I merely try to solve problems head on.

IF a confrontation is brought to me, and I know nothing about it and am ill prepared. I freak the fuck out. Usually get angry and leave before I say something that I will not be able to take back. That's my first go to. If I am held against will and can't escape the confrontation...I shut down. Then leave as soon as possible.

I have only gotten into an all out complete rage fit when it was calculated, or I have no fear of it biting me in the ass.

Well that and Americans are so offended by everything these days that it's hard to have a group conversation without offending someone.

yep -_-

What? You wouldn't consider yourself weak for not writing anything back?

I write back cause I don't like to leave someone hangin.

If it's a instigator, I ignore them irl. Online I may fight back a little...

But I don't think an instigator should have that much control over me. So I don't write back cause then I still have control. I still have the power in my court.


Are you 9w8 fixed? Also, why do you choose to walk away from confrontation? I'm curious.

I'm 6w7, 8w7, 3w2

I choose to walk away because I know I have anger issues. I will hurt someone. I will bulldoze them down. Take no prisoners kinda thing. And if someone gets me to that point, I wont regret it, and wont apologize.

(I'm normally the first to apologize to people after a normal small confrontation, I don't mind, my 7 will sacrifice all pride if it's someone I still am close to. I'm big on sacrificing.)

I will say one thing in the case for a 9 fix though and that is that I often avoid confrontation for the sake of keeping friends. Often times I find that getting into a strong confrontation with friends loses friends for me, so I try to avoid this in order to keep that friend. However, when I do have a friend that is passive aggressive, won't tell me what's wrong in order to avoid confrontation, and won't argue with me then that often times pisses me off. I will say that if I have a friend that is an 9 fixer vs. one that is an 8 fixer, I will get along with the 8 fixer better though.

What? You don't do this?

Usually other people do not confront me. I confront them. That's the first reason I would say.

Second reason is if they're being stupid, I may just go along with it to avoid confrontation if it's not a big deal. I choose my battles.

I don't do it to avoid losing friendship though. I am more apt to let a confrontation happen, and then say sorry and patch things up if I have to.

I know that if I let everything out though and let my rage run wild, the probability of me still being friends with that person is not likely. And at that point I wont care. This is coming from an NJ though, we can be quick to cut ppl out of our lives.

What is your tritype?

 

[The Great One]

[MENTION=14015]Urarienev[/MENTION]

1) I highly doubt that you are 8w7 fixed from the things that you have said in this thread. From what it sounds like, you either completely explode on someone or you avoid confrontation altogether. 8w7 fixers don't do this. 8w7 fixers pretty much always shut the other person down and almost never avoid confrontation. 8w9's are more known for there hot and cold confrontation styles.

2)

Are you 9w8 fixed? Also, why do you choose to walk away from confrontation? I'm curious.

I'm 6w7, 8w7, 3w2

I choose to walk away because I know I have anger issues. I will hurt someone. I will bulldoze them down. Take no prisoners kinda thing. And if someone gets me to that point, I wont regret it, and wont apologize.

(I'm normally the first to apologize to people after a normal small confrontation, I don't mind, my 7 will sacrifice all pride if it's someone I still am close to. I'm big on sacrificing.)

I'm either 9w8 or 8w9 fixed. I also don't confront people many times because I know that have anger issues as well. I also agree that I will sometimes sacrifice and not get into confrontation with someone that I am close to as well, for the sake of keeping them as a friend.

Usually other people do not confront me. I confront them. That's the first reason I would say.

Second reason is if they're being stupid, I may just go along with it to avoid confrontation if it's not a big deal. I choose my battles.

I don't do it to avoid losing friendship though. I am more apt to let a confrontation happen, and then say sorry and patch things up if I have to.

I know that if I let everything out though and let my rage run wild, the probability of me still being friends with that person is not likely. And at that point I wont care. This is coming from an NJ though, we can be quick to cut ppl out of our lives.

Yeah but I'm a lot more strategic than this though. I know that some people can help me to get ahead in my career and whatnot. I don't want to lose those social contacts by pissing them off. Also, again, I do have some friends that I am very close to, and wouldn't want to lose no matter what, so I will hold back confrontation for that sake as well.

What is your tritype?

I'm a core 6w7 and I definitely have a strong 3w2 fix. My gut fix is either 8w9 or 9w8.

 

[Evo]

[MENTION=14015]Urarienev[/MENTION]

1) I highly doubt that you are 8w7 fixed from the things that you have said in this thread. From what it sounds like, you either completely explode on someone or you avoid confrontation altogether. 8w7 fixers don't do this. 8w7 fixers pretty much always shut the other person down and almost never avoid confrontation. 8w9's are more known for there hot and cold confrontation styles.

Oh this is interesting. I will take a look into this more.

I keep testing for 8w7 gut fix every time. That's why I went with it.

 

[The Great One]

Oh this is interesting. I will take a look into this more.

I keep testing for 8w7 gut fix every time. That's why I went with it.

Yeah the hot and cold confrontation style is more reminiscent with 8w9. I guess that an 8w7 could be like this but it would have to be a learned trait. It seems like 8w7 fixers never want to back down for any reason.

 

[Chad of the OttomanEmpire]

Again, I'm seriously doubting that she has an 8 fix.

Again, I'll let you guys discuss that if so inclined.

So you also would consider yourself a punk ass bitch if you didn't write anything back even though you have a definite 9 fix? Why?

I wouldn't consider myself a punk-ass bitch, exactly, but I agree with your overall sentiment. I think it's kinda shitty when someone bothers to type out a long reply and you just let it slide. You're not worthy of my time, it says. And I get excited from the interaction, mainly.

Also, no, I'm not 9-fixed. Sorry if I gave you that impression. It's 8 all the way.

Also are you are 9w8 fixer? I'm assuming so.

8wX

So you also have fits of rage and also commonly feel rage? Can you please describe this in detail for me?

If it helps you, I am glad to.

Yes, I'm an angry young woman. As soon as I leave my home, it's like an instant state of war (with the environment, not necessarily to peoples' faces, lol). I have, like, ZERO tolerance to frustration, and most of the world is incredibly frustrating. As I become less healthy, my environment becomes like a stage-prop, something simply to be gotten through as quickly as possible so I can get from point A to point B with minimal fuss. People who get in the way will generally be pushed--I'm physically aggressive more than I'm rude, combative, or mean.

I'm volatile and quick to snap at people close to me--I'm known for being mercurial and tempermental, or, as my step-father believed, "criminally insane" (I'm not, I just openly express anything from annoyance to rage, then I get over it). I get physically angry too and sometimes destroy things. I've seldom been in fights outside the house largely because the world pisses me off significantly less than my own family, but again, I can be quite susceptible to frustration and things "in my way".

It's not that necessarily. It's more the fact that I just really ATTACH strongly to some people and really don't want to offend them or lose them as a friend by getting in a fight with them. I have lost good friends of mine on more than one occasion because I got in a bad fight with them. Also, some social contacts are very important in life and can really help you to get jobs and whatnot and I wouldn't want to lose one of these key people in my life either.

Well this sounds more like a 6 dynamic all the way. You've gotta be diplomatic to maintain your alliances, after all.

Not me, I really don't want to lose a really good job because of my temper. High paying jobs are hard to come by these days.

My job ain't high paying, though I'm still not fool enough to snap at my boss. But srsly, if they fired me, it'd almost be a RELIEF.

2) Pushing others to adapt is more of an xxFJ thing than it is an Fe in the tertiary position thing.

Possibly agree. I feel like I adapt to others more than I push them to adapt. I'm actually always slightly flattered when people change their sentiments to agree with me. I certainly don't expect that. I actually share Orange's ideas of people who try to "convert" you to their own little civilization--I'm anti-that and have fought many long hard battles over it.

1) I highly doubt that you are 8w7 fixed from the things that you have said in this thread. From what it sounds like, you either completely explode on someone or you avoid confrontation altogether. 8w7 fixers don't do this. 8w7 fixers pretty much always shut the other person down and almost never avoid confrontation. 8w9's are more known for there hot and cold confrontation styles.

I'd be interested in where you got this information. It sounds like one of those myths that went around PerC to discourage folks from being 8s and/or 8-fixed. Most people really DON'T want to confront others (at least those of unknown quantities) but some types are considerably less likely to back down than others, and some types become more likely to do so when angry.

Core 6s, regardless of their gut-fix, are hot-cold in their confrontation styles, and will puff up and back down--this is how you maintain your alliances after. You guys are natural statesmen.

so ^ prolly

Wait...prolly what?? I'd like to give you a full response.

8's want feedback just like 6's, just for different reasons.

Yes, 8s want feedback as a matter of feeling boundaries. 6s want feedback so their minds don't spin on it. With 8s (and to a lesser degree, 8-fixers), there's sort of a need to meet the other person's energy as a way of making contact and knowing boundaries.

 

[Evo]

[MENTION=18576]Sanjuro[/MENTION]

Wait...prolly what?? I'd like to give you a full response.


Yes, 8s want feedback as a matter of feeling boundaries. 6s want feedback so their minds don't spin on it. With 8s (and to a lesser degree, 8-fixers), there's sort of a need to meet the other person's energy as a way of making contact and knowing boundaries.

Sorrys...

I meant that it's probably cause you could have a social variant as dom or second.

Good to know about 8's

 

[Chad of the OttomanEmpire]

[MENTION=18576]Sanjuro[/MENTION]



Sorrys...

I meant that it's probably cause you could have a social variant as dom or second.

Good to know about 8's

Oh yeah, I do type as sx/soc and am willing to discuss soc/sx. I'm neurotic as crap about both of those things, but the sx feels worse. I'm not as awesome as sx/socials are supposed to be, though