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  1. #31
    Senior Member Sanjuro's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by brainheart View Post
    None of these types operate in a vacuum, as a 'pure' reactive type or a 'pure' competency type.
    I think this is right. I'm pretty much as "purely" reactive as they come, and I honestly didn't think I was "reactive enough" to be triple reactive (meaning I'm not generally a hyperreactive maniac as my tritype seems to get portrayed). There are mitigating circumstances for each type, and we've all got access to each triad--positive, competency, and reactive.

    Quote Originally Posted by Urarienev View Post
    Also if I'm being really reactive....I don't have time to sit there and think "I'm gonna test this person." I don't think I test people unless I'm unconscious of the fact that I do. I think I need examples.
    I've heard a lot of 6s say the same thing! And, as a co-reactive type, I kind of agree. The times I've "tested" people, it wasn't a conscious policy of choice. It just happens instinctively and you get sulky if someone doesn't pass the "test" that you subconsciously put out (or I do).

    4's don't even seem reactive to me. Any 4 I know...just gets overwhelmed and I leave the alone. Then they're fine. I can't see a 4 doing those things.
    Fours are a reactive type, but a withdrawn type as well. A lot of them report that it goes on inside.

    I personally can get weird on folks, but it tends to happen through my sx-first instinct--meaning you don't see it unless you get close to me and do something to trigger the responses. I've been pretty sane in most realms, however.

    Quote Originally Posted by msg_v2 View Post
    I dislike dealing with reactive types at work, I think. They don't understand that being aggressive or demanding is often counterproductive way to resolve these kinds of problems. It lowers my respect for someone, and does not increase it. And being demanding and just talking anxiously and not listening to what I am saying does not help communication, which is frequently a contributor to further problems down the line.
    You must work with some crappy reactive types! I'm inclined to agree with everything you just said--I am usually able to keep my shit together at work unless something major happens (work generally being uneventful, I'm not certain I've ever had this experience). Usually, I'm the one to calm others down, actually. I'm more like a competency type at work--again, none of us exist in a triadal vacuum.

    Quote Originally Posted by chana View Post
    I don't relate to the OP's description of how 4s are supposed to act. Most of my reactivity is internal, and is only shared with people I feel very comfortable with. I very rarely have emotional outbursts in public. That's a common misconception about 4s, especially 4w5s.
    A lot of 4s say this, and I don't particularly relate to the OP's wording, myself. I think he's just being dramatic with it. Unlike many 4w5s, I actually HAVE had mega-embarrassing public outbursts of rage (never at work). Yet there are still times when I have the "freeze" response and I actually wish I could be MORE reactive. So, it's a mixed bag.

    Anyway, in enneagram terms, "reactive" doesn't necessarily mean getting torqued out. It means having some sort of emotional response (and this might be largely internal for any of the types) to a perceived problem and wanting others to get as excited as you are about it. Reactive types can consequently push for responses, but this doesn't necessarily mean getting "in your face" about it. There are many ways to get a response from someone, and having a big emotional outburst is only ONE way.

    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    it's probably the 1 fix, but yeah, I look down on reactive types, at least ones who have poor self control, explode on people or resort to constant testing.

    guilty as charged, and it makes perfect sense you would look down on it (I'm frustrated by it myself).
    LOL. And I've been known to laugh at people who torque out publicly and have been frustrated by my occasional bad temper myself.

  2. #32
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chana View Post
    I don't relate to the OP's description of how 4s are supposed to act. Most of my reactivity is internal, and is only shared with people I feel very comfortable with. I very rarely have emotional outbursts in public. That's a common misconception about 4s, especially 4w5s.
    imo, 2s are far more externally reactive than 4s. the less mature (or disintegrated) 2s will often resort to all manner of emotional antics and sensational outbursts in order to manipulate.

    4 reactiveness is more of an internal "you don't know me! how dare you judge me!" disintegrated 4s can become more histrionic and drama queen-y like 2s, but these tendencies are less prevalent in the average levels than they are for 2s.
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  3. #33
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by andante View Post
    You're right. For some reason I linked the core competency aspect to head types of 5, 6, 7 and core reactive types to gut types of 8, 9 and 1. My error.
    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    no. it isn't.

    competency: 1, 3, 5
    reactive: 4, 6, 8
    positive outlook: 2, 7, 9
    Apparently, you don't read none too good.

  4. #34
    brainheart
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    imo, 2s are far more externally reactive than 4s. the less mature (or disintegrated) 2s will often resort to all manner of emotional antics and sensational outbursts in order to manipulate.

    4 reactiveness is more of an internal "you don't know me! how dare you judge me!" disintegrated 4s can become more histrionic and drama queen-y like 2s, but these tendencies are less prevalent in the average levels than they are for 2s.
    Yes. It takes some serious disintegration for me to get externally reactive, and I feel like a different person. My external reactivity has a definite two-ish feel to it. I get oddly manipulative and duplicitous and take on a sort of femme fatale quality. I'll do things for people or shower them with gifts and then get irritated by their lack of appreciation and lay on the guilt trips. I get really needy and dependent on the love of others. It's disturbing, because it's a total 180 from the usual me.

  5. #35
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    I think the only thing "reactive" about reactive types is that they want a reaction out of others to test authenticity and honesty. In my experience, 4's and 8's both test to see if you can handle their intensity by acting crazy, while 6's seem to test your certainty and stability by being... testy, like promising things then revoking them, and making you think they're on your side one second, then flipping on you the next (I want to pull my hair out when this happens. I promise myself I will punch the next 6 in the face who does this, but its just too unexpected for me to react in time).

    I will immediately drop anyone who pisses me off once.

    But then again I feel like every personality does in some way or another.

    Reactivity in the sense of getting in the last word is just insecurity and power play at work, which seems to be a universal trait of extroversion and thinking your personal power is threatened.

  6. #36
    Honor Thy Inferior Such Irony's Avatar
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    I don't hate reactive types but sometimes I'm bewildered by them. In my mind they seem to overreact to something insignificant in the overall scheme of things. I'm not sure how to respond to their overreaction. I try to reason with them and it seems to make things worse.
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