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  1. #21
    untitled Chanaynay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    from my perspective...i never get it. the type 4's wahh life sucks shit. i just don't.. i look a their life and think you ungrateful lil bastard...look at all that you have??!! and their complaints about them self...also...like wtf are you talking about?? there's nothing wrong

    so...that is potentially a super uncomplimentary dynamic.

    i'm sure 4's very much just want us to relate but instead we're (i'm) like....but...but...it's all freakin made up!! and you need to get over it!
    This is inevitably and consistently my experience with every single 4 I've come across. I want to slap them and be like CHECK YO sELF
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  2. #22
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    right...it's an issue. :/
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  3. #23
    untitled Chanaynay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    right...it's an issue. :/
    It's interesting though how almost visceral it can be. Like 4s probably do this naturally and they're not trying to seem ungrateful or selfish, but to us E7s we're like wtf is wrong with you guys there's no making you happy! Even when we get they're being a 4 it can be frustrating just because it's such a mood killer.
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  4. #24
    As Long As It Takes.... Redbone's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    right...it's an issue. :/
    It certainly can be and my impatience can be sparked by it from time to time. I can only stay with a bad feeling for so long before I feel the need to take action (so the action may not be very helpful...)

    However, I also highly admire their ability to stay with dark things. I've been through some evil crap and my "it's in the past and doesn't matter now"/refusal to actually deal with the lingering trauma made things worse. It is amazing to me that they can not just peer but explore what's in the darkness (I only thought I could do this but I was really more focused on gritty reality). I think my lingering issues with depression and other things give me a lot of empathy and understanding with 4s.

  5. #25
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chanaynay View Post
    It's interesting though how almost visceral it can be. Like 4s probably do this naturally and they're not trying to seem ungrateful or selfish, but to us E7s we're like wtf is wrong with you guys there's no making you happy! Even when we get they're being a 4 it can be frustrating just because it's such a mood killer.
    i think i just sort of live my life with the understanding of all the struggles people have to endure...all the hardships...like true hardships..poverty..mental illness...having no family or friends...being incarcerated...loosing family members...your child?? or not being able to care for them? or being evicted or not having a job? or being in a major accident etc etc

    and i just have no patience for it...

    the complaints about made up shit. like...it is visceral...it pisses me off. it's being handed a beautiful gift and shitting all over it.

    sorry
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  6. #26
    So she did. small.wonder's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chanaynay View Post
    Except no. Who wants to go to a party where everyone is sad and no fun?! That's the thing I've learned about a lot of 4s I've met - the fact that they place so much effort on their identity and what's missing makes them kind of boring anyway. I mean, sort of in contrast to what @AntiheroComplex was saying, I'm not going to instantly feel what you're feeling and connect with that if I know that your life has actually been pretty good and filled with good people and plenty to be thankful for. My empathy isn't earned by being unhappy, it goes more out to those who try to stay strong and not let life phase them and sometimes crack when life gets hard.

    That said, when 4s are actually in better moods I find them really fun to interact with because I can just shoot out anything as weird as possible and they'll follow through with it. And they do have a lot of passionate things to say when they're not out romanticizing how they feel. So in that sense they're really not boring people when they're in a good mood. And after they warm up to me they'll start to be more self-assertive in social interaction which I like because I don't like being relied on to carry the conversation and always initiate it.
    Agreed, but what you said really is that you prefer healthier 4's. That makes total sense, I prefer healthier 7's too! The self realized 4 is extremely tough skinned and though still not bubbly and sugar-coated like a 7, they can see beauty in the pain. The above bolded is true, but also unhealthy-- to not address pain or and emotional injury until you crack?

    I guess that's the huge 4 + 7 issue though, we each err in opposite ways of unhealth. 4's allow themselves to feel too deeply, and connect their identities to unreal suffering. 7's allow themselves to ignore their negative feelings altogether and connect their identities to unreal happiness.

    4's and 7's both need a bit of the other to be healthy, to not fixate on the one extreme.
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  7. #27
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Redbone View Post
    It certainly can be and my impatience can be sparked by it from time to time. I can only stay with a bad feeling for so long before I feel the need to take action (so the action may not be very helpful...)

    However, I also highly admire their ability to stay with dark things. I've been through some evil crap and my "it's in the past and doesn't matter now"/refusal to actually deal with the lingering trauma made things worse. It is amazing to me that they can not just peer but explore what's in the darkness (I only thought I could do this but I was really more focused on gritty reality). I think my lingering issues with depression and other things give me a lot of empathy and understanding with 4s.
    right...thanks for pointing that out. i have moments of admiration and empathy for it...but i have to be truly open to get there. i'm not currently ha
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  8. #28
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by small.wonder View Post
    Agreed, but what you said really is that you prefer healthier 4's. That makes total sense, I prefer healthier 7's too! The self realized 4 is extremely tough skinned and though still not bubbly and sugar-coated like a 7, they can see beauty in the pain. The above bolded is true, but also unhealthy-- to not address pain or and emotional injury until you crack?

    I guess that's the huge 4 + 7 issue though, we each err in opposite ways of unhealth. 4's allow themselves to feel too deeply, and connect their identities to unreal suffering. 7's allow themselves to ignore their negative feelings altogether and connect their identities to unreal happiness.

    4's and 7's both need a bit of the other to be healthy, to not fixate on the one extreme.
    this is so true too

    i so did not mean to rant about 4's

    i truly do adore them...it's just in this one way...where we can be such opposites. positive/negative. that i was meaning to point out an issue with.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  9. #29

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    from my perspective...i never get it. the type 4's wahh life sucks shit. i just don't.. i look a their life and think you ungrateful lil bastard...look at all that you have??!! and their complaints about them self...also...like wtf are you talking about?? there's nothing wrong

    so...that is potentially a super uncomplimentary dynamic.

    i'm sure 4's very much just want us to relate but instead we're (i'm) like....but...but...it's all freakin made up!! and you need to get over it!
    That's why I like you...Get the fuck over it and stop being dramatic! Even thought it might hurt us, I think a slap like that is what most of us need ...

  10. #30
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    It's weird. I have the opposite going with 7s. Im like - stop distracting yourself and running away from everything that is remotely *not fun*. Coz inevitably, they run at some point into a wall or out of gass and they come crying to me, an emotional wreck. And I get to clean it up - which would have been a whole hell of a lot easier if they've just come to me when they first encountered the issue instead of going 'wheeeee, it doesn't exist!'
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