Like I've said in other places, I've mulled this question over myself, so I thought I'd join in. There's a real interesting conversation going on here!
If you suddenly became an integral, indistinguishable, ordinary, average member of a group of dependable happy/optimistic friends who cherish you and cater to your needs, would you be content or frustrated?
6s want to be liked and appreciated, 4s want to be understood and embraced for their essence. The Six is happy when the popular kids ask him to hang out, while the Four will still be sad regardless until he/she feels like a true, genuine connection has been made.
I dunno if that's the best distinguisher here. I personally would be very happy if I found a group of friends who liked me, accepted me, embraced me, and catered to my every need. This is like, The Unattainable in my life. I wouldn't want to be "just like them" and would probably leave if they forced me to wear a "group uniform" or something...but 4s sometimes want to fit in too. It's just that a) they don't want to sacrifice their true essence and b) they often just can't fit in.
It seems to me, as a four: Sixes have this more heady energy- a lot more anxious and keyed up. It's like you can hear the gears in their head turning. Or there's this sort of nervousness. They seem more either cynical or skeptical (typically 6w5) or trusting and lighter/fun (6w7). They seem more human to me, if that makes sense. Sixes may rebel for the sake of rebelling- for example, shaving their head and getting tattoos just to 'freak people out'. There are a lot more authority issues, or issues with belonging, or issues with deliberately setting themselves apart. Sixes are more loyal and supportive/ desire loyalty and support than fours. They tend to think out loud or tell their thoughts to others in order to process them- the 6w7s, anyway.
Fours have more of a heavy heart energy- this regretful moroseness. When I think of four I think of the first verse of a poem by Paul Verlaine- Il pleure dans mon coeur comme il pleut sur la ville/ Quelle est cette langueur qui penetre mon coeur- It cries in my heart like it rains on the city/ What is this languor which penetrates my heart?
Fours tend to be more sullen or despondent. This isn't to say a four can't have fun and can't be silly, but there's always this undercurrent that the fun silliness is fleeting. Fours are separated from others, but they don't do this deliberately. They just are. They may shave their head and get tattoos but it's more about expressing something within. Fours don't rebel so much as just have a different way of seeing things/ doing things. Others may perceive this as rebellion, but it's not. Fours are self absorbed- by this mean, every thing comes back into the self- how does this affect me? How does this make me feel? How does this relate to my past and me feelings of regret, shame, envy? Fours can also be supportive, but often drop people when the relationship 'feels wrong'. They have higher expectations and become frustrated more easily.
Yeah, that's true. When I mistyped at 6, I kept getting offended that my quirkiness had to be related to "rebellion". I don't "try" to be different or weird--I just am. People have noted this about me all my life, and while it can be very alienating and othering at times, it's also something I'd never want to sacrifice (and would probably literally unable to do so--the weird just comes out).
That's not to say I can't be rebellious--I am often
contrary, especially when someone starts thinking they've got me all figured out. I am 6-fixed, though.
[MENTION=18664]Stansmith[/MENTION], sure sixes can be deep and morose. I don't know how to explain it well, but six depression is different than four depression. Sixes, when depressed or upset remind me more of a crying baby who won't stop crying until someone comes and picks them up, while fours do their crying internally hoping that someone will notice that they aren't crying out loud and come check on them to see why they aren't. Back asswards, I know.
Both 4s and 6s can get depressed for a variety of reasons; 4s tend to be more depressed about who they are (or aren't)--they tend to have some standard of they way they "want" to be, but fall perpertually short of that. There's also a sensitivity towards tragedy, suffering, and loss.
6s are superego types and perhaps get depressed when they've messed up according to the standards of their superego (I'd appreciate a core 6 filling me in on this one).
What if one prefers to not be seen at all crying?
Is it possible for ISFP's and/or enneagram 4's to become hardened and desensitized to overly emotional people?
I
strongly prefer people not to see me cry. A big gripe of mine is precisely that 4 descriptions make us out to be these weepy, outwardly emotional things. I'm actually very guarded about that; I think my own family are the only people who've seen me cry, mainly only as a kid and teen.
I would, like, literally claim there was something in my eye rather than be seen crying at a movie theater, for instance. It doesn't mean I can't be moved internally, it just means I am extremely hesitant to show that to anyone.
I personally do not like over-emotional people myself. The thing is, I'm ingrown, and my own issues are all I can handle. I'm really not good at being a shoulder to cry on, and I don't like crybabies. So I'd say it's possible.
Crying for me is more often from a feeling of defeat. And in the last few years, my defeat usually stems from financial woes and stress.
I wonder if there are any threads on Enneagram 4 type movies vs Enneagram 6 type movies.
Again, yeah, inner sadness and suffering does not have to equate to crying.
As to the movies, I know I've seen a database for movies with Type X themes. Here it is; she categorizes each according to the main theme (not necessarily the types of the characters).
http://www.enneagramdimensions.net/articles\subtype_themes.pdf#start
