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  1. #1
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    Default How do you feel about your disintegration point?

    Prompted by @Ginkgo's similar thread on integration points

    Disintegration sounds like it's supposed to be unpleasant, but do you feel a paradoxical liking for your disintegration point? Do you feel tempted to slip into it just because you think it's more effective or easy or attractive than your integration point? Do you tend to like or dislike people who are the same enneagram as your disintegration point?

    Bonus question for 9s: how do you feel about 6s?


  2. #2
    Ginkgo
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    E2? Gross.

  3. #3
    011235813
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ginkgo View Post
    E2? Gross.
    What does it feel like to disintegrate to e2?

  4. #4
    Stansmith
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    One thing ive noticed when I go to 3, is that I'll feel really amped and optimistic, but in the midst of my work and focus, I can't help but feel that I'm missing something. I'll be in the middle of work and think "wow, this is all a cover-up for the fact that I'm intrinsically unloveable". At which point I go to the low side of 9 and become completely apathetic to reality.


    The low side of 9 is actually a more self-destructive experience for me than the low side of 3.

  5. #5
    Ginkgo
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    Quote Originally Posted by senza tema View Post
    What does it feel like to disintegrate to e2?
    It feels like codependency. As if many of my actions are contingent upon my worth in the eyes of others and my motivations are ulterior. At worst, not only are they ulterior, but they are rationalized as though they are justified. Then there are two barriers that must be broken in order to access a more innovative mindset I associate with 1ness. In my case, the normal desire to create an identity as a 4 is redirected in the form of an outward desire for progress. So let's say I'm in my 4 range and I feel like my level of expertise falls short of my ideal self - crank that up to my 1 range and I grow confident enough to share what I've learned with others when I see the need. Usually those sorts of behaviors are informative and educational in nature.

  6. #6
    likes this gromit's Avatar
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    I feel pretty ok about my disintegration.

    Actually. I don't really know how I relate to it.
    Quote Originally Posted by senza tema View Post
    Bonus question for 9s: how do you feel about 6s?
    I think six people can be kind of... intense, at least on here some of the ones I've interacted with, and maybe I was a little intimidated. But others haven't made me feel that way. I know there are two kinds of 6, so maybe that's it.
    Your kisses, sweeter than honey. But guess what, so is my money.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Sanjuro's Avatar
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    The more I learn about type 2, the more I'm starting to like having a connection to it.

    The type gets a bum rap online, and (in American circles anyway) is misunderstood as being solely a nurturing, effusive, nicey-nice "people person" who manipulates others. That was what I thought type 2 was about for a long time. I do feel that the common "stereotype" of a 2 is probably more acceptable for someone of my age and gender, but I'm really not that good at acting stereotypically 2ish (and as a triple-reactive 4w5, yeah, I'm sure it'd be more attractive for me to be that that way).

    I saw so little of myself in the type when I started enneagram that I neglected reading about the type for many years--it simply wasn't important to me, and I actually ruled out 4 as a type for awhile since I "clearly" didn't have a 2-connection. I was prejudiced due to my ignorance.

    Later, I figured out that being a 2 is more about pride, rejecting personal needs, understanding interpersonal relations, being a free spirit, and, yes, giving to get--as well as the ability to be unconditional. As I experience the "disintegration" (I quote, because I see many positive 2 qualities as well), it seems to manifest as
    a) not being able to ask for what I need but expecting someone to do something about it anyway;
    b) feeling deprived/cheated, but too proud to ask for help;
    c) feeling entitled to take what I am owed for all I have suffered and endured; and
    d) yes, semi-deliberate, melodramatic emotional manipulation (that whole, "I'm going to start crying to get my way" thing).

    I've yet to see the co-dependence really come into play--or else I'm far too proud to admit it.

    EDIT: Well, sorry for being all self-absorbed with that post. I should have added how I feel about 2s in general.

    TBH, I don't really know too many of them, with the exception of my mother's ENFJ type 2 friend. We do get along really well--she's theatrical and likes the same sorts of magical stuff that I do. She's big on manners and refinement, and she likes the fact that I tend to share her sense of these things. She draws out my extroverted side; others find her intrusive (I think she actually annoys my mother more than me).

    ^Take that for what it's worth.
    Last edited by Sanjuro; 08-10-2013 at 08:48 AM. Reason: I'm too self-absorbed

  8. #8
    Entertaining Cracker five sounds's Avatar
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    I'm scared as hell of one. I am definitely prone to clinging to perfectionism and my ideals of what should be when I'm under stress or feeling inadequate. I hate the way this makes me feel, and I often get my priorities all mixed up when I'm swinging this way. I'm sure there's a better-adjusted way to be a one, but since it's my disintegration point, I go about it all wrong and end up winding myself up in the hysteria of trying to do everything right. It's exhausting and I often need a lot of time and work to get back in a good place from there.
    You hem me in -- behind and before;
    you have laid your hand upon me.
    Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

  9. #9
    Senior Member pinkgraffiti's Avatar
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    i would like us to get married and have kids.

    no, i hate it. the only worst thing about the silent perfectionist-hitler in me is when i have irrational uncontrollable accesses of rage, 8 like.

  10. #10
    Glycerine
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    Some 9s make me anxious especially the super high F ones. Always needing to keep the peace and making sure everyone is happy in a super forced optimistic way.

    However, I really do like the mellow/calm, go with the flow variety.

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